G.I. Joe: Retaliation Page #4

is our Commander.

ZARTAN:
Cool mask.

COBRA COMMANDER:
Someone took his time.

Not easy to sneak out of that big, white,

11-bedroom, 35-and-a-half bath...

Just don't forget who put you there.

Or the rock you crawled out from.

Firefly. It's good to know

we're not running low on crazy.

Still all 10 fingers?

(SCOFFS)

How is our former President?

Oh, he is worth his weight in platinum.

You know, they call it a waterboard,

but I never get bored.

(CHUCKLES)

COBRA COMMANDER:
In 48 hours,

Zeus will launch.

ZARTAN:
Just one wrinkle.

Three Joes somehow survived

our little house cleaning.

A drone picked up voiceprints

in the Indus Valley.

Can I trust you with nothing?

They'll slip up.

And when they do,

I'll hunt 'em to ground.

COBRA COMMANDER:
Hoo-ah.

No, no, it's cool.

I got it.

You lost, little man?

No, I ain't lost.

I think you got the wrong street.

So why don't you take Miley Cyrus

and Ryan Seacrest

and head back that way?

I'm going that way.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Go ahead, Marvin.

Man, don't call me that name.

(BOTH LAUGH)

- What's up? Little Marvin!

- Marvin?

STOOP:
- Big Marvin now.

Had you worried for a minute, man.

Watch your hand back there, boy.

You don't want them to get you.

Look at you. You got grown.

How your parents

make a kid this big, man?

- His parents are like 5'2" apiece.

- Really?

STOOP:
You're taking

that P9OX serious, huh?

(LAUGHS) Twice a week.

I see. Look at the size of your neck.

Let me introduce you. This is Flint.

What up?

Lady Jaye.

Lady Jaye. Hey.

- Welcome back.

- Thank you.

It's what happens

when you're in trouble, you come home.

Home is where the help is.

Amen.

Well, we got you.

Set up at the rec centre.

Lay low over there.

Nobody gonna bother you.

As far as wheels go,

I'm gonna let you roll my truck.

Thank you.

I got payments on that truck, man.

I don't get it like I used to. All right?

(CHUCKLES) Thank you, Stoop.

I owe you one, brother.

Actually, you owe me two.

- That other one don't count.

(SCOFFS)

Welcome home, Marvin.

(DOOR OPENING)

Watch your step.

No one's been here for years.

This is gonna have to be our pit for now.

(JAYE WHISTLES)

Wow. It's an actual pit.

It's my old stomping ground.

FLINT:
Are you sure

we can trust this Stoop guy?

- Stoop's no angel.

(COUGHS)

But he is family and we can trust him.

Can we be traced?

We can mask our IP addresses.

I'll cyber-blast an encoded beacon

every six hours.

If any Joes did survive,

we need to let them know

where we're at.

All right. Well, let's get to work.

Flint, inventory every piece

of equipment we got left.

Jaye, start that database

on our President.

We'll find out what's going on

with our Commander-in-Chief.

He's not acting like the man we know.

We find out why,

we can start being soldiers again.

(STORM SHADOW GROANING)

(WIND HOWLING)

(RADIO BEEPING)

Lieutenant Lady Jaye,

requesting immediate aid.

If any Joes have survived...

This channel's restricted to Joes,

isn't it?

...magnetic west of the Potomac.

They're alive.

This is Lieutenant Lady Jaye

requesting immediate aid.

JINX:
Lieutenant Lady Jaye,

this is Jinx and Snake Eyes.

We are in pursuit of Storm Shadow.

Even if Snake Eyes and Jinx

grab Storm,

they're still halfway around the world.

We're on our own.

Enough for a battle.

Not a war.

We're fighting uphill here.

I came here when I was 14

with a life expectancy of 13.

I was bounced around

from home to home, until this

became my home.

Guys were lined up

outside that door to fight me.

They whooped my skinny ass so much

I started to enjoy it.

Till one winter,

I grew 8 inches and gained 60 pounds.

I punched a guy so hard

he couldn't move his arm to tap out.

Then when the Joes

came recruiting to the hood,

I'd already beaten down half of it.

I became a Joe to serve. In the field.

So if we're fighting uphill,

we take the hill.

JAYE:
Hey, I got something

you'll want to see.

During my check of the President,

look what I found.

This is the President on August 9th.

PRESIDENT:
...an addiction

to offshore energy,

where we 're forced to be

kind of embroiled

in the affairs of foreign nations.

And this is 10 days later.

I mean, otherwise, we're sort of...

These are conversational fillers.

Little phrases

we spit out to give our brain

a chance to catch up

with our mouth. Like...

- Like.

- Yes.

ROADBLOCK:
And our President?

Between August 9th and August 19th,

he stopped using

"you know" and "kind of"

and started using "I mean" and "sort of".

But that's not all.

"Supper" became "dinner".

"Soda" became "pop".

One President, two fingerprints.

But it's a few words, right?

I mean, how much can...

Check this out.

Two press conferences,

July 31st, September 1st.

See his fingers clasped?

Left thumb on top

versus right thumb on top.

The same person

never does this differently,

it feels wrong.

What if the President

isn't the President?

Look, if the Commander-in-Chief

is an imposter

and he's the one that ordered the attack,

we have to assume

that there's no one we can trust.

There is one man.

He's the reason we call ourselves Joes.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(MAN TALKING ON TV)

Hello?

I'll take two cases of Thin Mints

and a box of Chuckle Lucks.

Lower your weapons.

General Colton, if I may...

Shut your mouth, Brenda.

My name's not Brenda.

How'd you get in?

Sir, apologies.

- Sergeant Marvin...

- I know who you are.

Then you know why I'm here.

JOE:
It's not like

I don't hear what you're saying.

But an imposter President?

How come when the General says it,

it sounds crazy?

What'd they do with the real President?

We fear he's dead.

I don't think so.

You're not going to kill your best asset.

"Conrad Hauser. Duke."

Your captain.

Tell me one thing you know about him.

Great soldier.

Better friend.

And he saved my life, sir.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Good.

What you're proposing is treason.

I'm gonna need something

a little more to go on

than overlapping thumbs.

JAYE:
Before you retired,

you sewed on a security commission

with the President's Chief of Staff.

General Colton, can you get us close?

Negative.

I can't scratch my ass in this town

without getting on the watch list.

Brenda, hand me that pen.

Girl Scout to secretary.

Amazing. Name's not Brenda.

It's just a pen.

Avenue K, Georgetown. 9:00 p.m.

There's a poker game

with the Chief of Staff there.

He's not a good poker player.

He's got 1,000 tells.

We only need one.

CHIEF OF STAFF:
Hey, hon.

Just got out of poker. Poorer but wiser.

(SIGHS) It was a good day, actually.

The Prez was taking

his crazy pills again.

Baby, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Yeah.

Love you.

(JAYE SIGHS)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON EARPHONES)

Excuse me.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

You need a hand with your bags?

Sure.

No problem. There you go.

Thank you.

Who said chivalry is dead, right?

Chivalry.

Talk like that,

I'm gonna get myself in trouble.

Where we heading?

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