Gabrielle Page #4

Every morning I'll make sure

you're in pain.

It will eventually go away.

Ill see those dark clouds break up.

And maybe Ill let you know

that your torment is ending.

Who knows?

lmagine it:

Me, a bit surprised, saying,

''Gabrielle, you're back.''

I can see why my sadness intrigues you.

Im not surprised.

But don't expect it to go away.

If it does, however,

l won't let you see it.

You'Il see nothing but my pain.

You'l only see this sad face,

if I so decide.

And me?

Can you read my heart on my face?

The other way around!

Let's look at it the other way around.

Your letter was ful of ''l's''.

But him in there!

You, I know now.

Isn't it time to tell me about him?

My wifes mad about a tram conductor!

Who is this woman

under my roof, for whom a man...

But in fact,

hell tell me about you.

Go on.

Go talk to him.

You spoil my pleasure. I love music.

Hell hear you out

and answer you.

I know he will.

For once a recital

that resembles a real recital.

So what have you seen lately

to loathe?

Your loathings stimulate us.

We're not saying

you're always wrong.

How good of you.

Nothing much.

A dreary affair about an inheritance,

not worth getting angry about.

Sorry.

But true lucidity, with all its dangers,

is preferable to a life

that keeps all its promises.

Some promises are so vague.

Others we try to keep at all costs,

only to be hurt more.

Some dishes should be turned down.

Temperance is a virtue I honor

with an iron will.

You dont honor

"with an iron will"

No, you act. I know.

You didnt just discover lucidity.

But to me youve always had it.

Nearly.

Yes, nearly.

So you hurt yourself, is that it?

I won't let anyone else

have the honor.

Thats more like it.

Peace of mind guaranteed.

Everything a l right, Yvonne?

Me, too.

Here's something

for you to puzzle over

days on end.

The second time I was happy,

very happy,

is when I wrote my letter.

You know there was a letter?

That's when.

Yesterday, or thereabouts.

Incredible.

Time doesn't matter, I've learned.

It does it likes.

Like all of us.

Friends!

Dear loyal friends...

Thank you for being here,

for never missing an evening.

Weve been together for years,

and we preserve

one another

from the worst misfortunes.

And, personally,

I have never desired another life.

I feel fine,

I feel fine among you,

and I just wanted to say so.

I feel fine.

I wanted to certify it.

Madeleine can assure you

that l felt fine.

I feel fine.

That's my secret.

Oh, yes...

Gabrielle wanted...

wants?...

to make an announcement.

Maybe she no longer wants to.

No longer sure? No?

Yes, she's sure.

The time was ripe earlier,

and now it isnt.

And I won't address everyone

when only two of you

are concerned.

You'd be displeased with me.

Jean. first of all.

So we wait. s that it?

That's it.

Your niece had a winter wedding,

didn t she?

I never could understand why.

lt's not as nice.

Everythings so confined.

The church, the reception halls,

the endless meals...

May, June and July are better.

Especially June and July.

I don't know.

Cold wather

gives people rosy cheeks.

Where are you going?

- I'm going.

- What? Where?

- To him?

- No, alone.

Stay!

It can't end ike this.

Let me go!

STAY!

I loved you.

I love you, here and now.

You never loved me.

You needed some woman,

any woman,

a wife, any wife.

You married a woman I'm not,

that's all.

Sometimes Im sorry.

What do you know of my thoughts?

On returning, you seemed unhinged.

You listened so weII.

How you talk to me now!

Had I believed you loved me,

had I believed it for a moment,

Id have never come back.

Had I thought

l mattered at all to you,

Id have never returned.

When you don't matter,

you can come and go,

as if nothing had happened.

Nothing. Its so simple.

We're alone, Jean.

Don't you see?

Youre just trying to reassure yourself.

Stop it.

I knew that

what we experienced together saved us.

I knew we had the assurance

of a life without scandal

and without crises.

I knew it.

That we'd sleep the same sleep.

I wanted it just as you did.

No one knows

how well matched we were.

Much more than many others.

Yes, we were.

Then why did you come back?

I came back because...

that other life, with that man,

who is so kind,

attracts me...

That other life is too demanding.

My arms and legs arent enough

to absorb it all.

My body isn't big enough.

What style!

Where did you get that from,

for God's sake?

I must say it has a nice ring.

At least,

he didnt taint you.

Poor helpless little thing.

But what you ve said

has nothing to do with love!

Love's not this torment

that's made you act so oddly.

You won't drag me down with you!

I can stilI teIl true fee ings

from utter confus on!

I'm going to bed.

Good n ght, Jean.

I have something to do.

Did you fell any pleasure with him?

More pleasure than with me?

Of course I did.

You never felt any pleasure with me?

It wasnt that important to us, was it?

Ten years of life together,

here. in my house...

In this house.

So many memories come to mind...

The way you walk,

the way you say my name,

your heaving breast...

Ten years

should have appeased my desire.

A long time ago,

of course I... I mean we...

But that was the first five months.

Then habit sets in.

Habit of the person,

gestures, voice.

- the silence...

- Jean, please no!

- My wife's si ence...

- Stop it!

Is was all mine!

It was alI intimately mine!

It's Yvonne.

Leave it, Yvonne.

THE NEXT MORNING

YOU MUST HELP ME.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE...

You'll help me.

I need it.

You left me,

then you came back.

I don't understand.

But I will.

I make myself sick.

Get out.

Emotion s...

revolting.

You loved me, didnt you?

I mean...

a littIe? Tell me.

A long time ago, yes. I said so.

But that's aIl passed.

I dont resent you

for no longer loving you.

Once, yes thats gone.

I don't resent you now.

Come.

Come.

Lie down.

If you come to me, now...

Maybe...

I could...

Now.

Come.

There's no love, is that it?

There won't be any love.

ever?

And you can live with that?

Well, I can't!

HE NEVER RETURNED.

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