Gagman

---

Man, it's hot.

I wish we didn't have summers.

Why not make it simple

and just have spring, fall,

and winter?

By the way

do you like dogmeat?

I wouldn't make it through the heat

without dogmeat.

You never get fat

from eating dogmeat.

But I don't serve the stuff

they're serving nowadays.

They take any dog off the street

and pump it with water.

The meat's tough,

and there's nothing to chew on.

When it comes to dogmeat,

the good old Korean mutts are it.

Anyway, I read on the tabloids last week

that some comedian paid six figures in taxes.

I guess TV stars do make a lot of money.

I heard he had it tough when he was young.

Some people must be born with all the luck.

You had talent in that area

when you were young, right?

I can see how you got into

your line of work.

I started watching movies

from the time I was conceived.

My mother was crazy about movies.

Maybe it's why I've always wanted to be a star.

I watched so many movies back then.

Remember that Viking movie

with Kirk Douglas in it?

That was one impressive movie.

You remember the scene

with the feast, don't you?

Where Kirk Douglas is chewing

on a chicken?

Boy, he could sure

tear into a chicken.

What a chump... he won't know

a flower if he sat on it.

I bet the guy on the right

with glasses barely got hired.

I'm sure he didn't come here

with his own money.

He probably got money behind

the back for a shady loan.

Spending his day counting...

all he can think about

is getting laid.

Girl #17 might be all

smiles right now,

but all she cares about

right now is getting a fat tip.

That rich lady is here again.

I see she has a young escort

for the night.

She'll dance jitterbug

to Beethoven,

because that's

all she knows.

When did this great world of

ours come to value

wads of cash over true

feeling and romance?

Just when did it turn into

this barren,

lifeless, and emotionless wasteland?

What can a genius like myself

can do for times like these?

Your forever lover boy who gets

bigger with your, love, love, love.

Your lark on a sunny day,

I'm your funnyman Lee Jong-sae.

I really hope I can

see you back tomorrow,

and that wraps

it up for me today.

Hello?

It's me.

What's up?

Of course, I'm fine.

Michelle?

She's getting way too fat.

She gained two pounds last month.

She's so finicky.

She won't eat anything but

whole milk or cheese.

I need to put her on a diet.

Wait, where did she go?

Hold on.

Michelle? Michelle? Michelle?

Sorry about that.

My husband?

He's coming back today.

Yeah, he was in the US

for a business trip.

I'm not lonely.

I can use his money to

go shopping with friends,

see movies, and just enjoy my life.

What?

You switched to golf too?

Good. I changed too,

because aerobics is

so hard and boring.

What?

You can hit bogey already?

Wow, you're almost

a pro now.

Hold on.

My husband must be here.

All right.

Let's play a game together

sometime next week.

OK. See you.

Is that you, honey?

It's me, ma'am.

I'm afraid I have

bad news for you.

Your husband was in an accident

on this way from the airport.

He just went into surgery

and the prognosis isn't out yet.

Cut!

What's going on?

Are you nuts?

No, it's just that...

the man next to you

looks so funny.

Who are you?

You're the director, right?

It's really nice to see you.

You must have about

a dozen cuts to go.

I guess so...

What is your movie

about this time?

Don't you think the subject matter

is too old?

Anyway, I think we should start

shooting next month.

If we want to portray that melancholy

and tedious atmosphere,

we should begin shooting

before the summer is over.

As for the actors, I want to

take a chance with new faces.

Big stars are much to clichd.

Do I know you?

Oh, no. You forgot about me.

But you'll remember

if you think of the lark.

I'm your funnyman,

Lee Jong-sae.

I'm the one who sent you

the script you saw the other day.

I see...

There's no shoot

tomorrow, right?

Since I have to sleep

in during morning

is 3 PM all right with you?

We should meet

and set up a schedule.

Your TV interview is ready,

Mr. Director.

All right.

I think women have reached

a crisis point in the modern age.

My film examines the sexual

lives in married couples

for whom sex has become a leverage

with their newfound wealth.

That's good...

And we know that

Ms. Yu is known for her acting in bed.

Have you actually

done it for real?

Well, it's...

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

I'll do it again.

Hold on.

Let us change the tape first.

It's "The One" Cafe across

from Changgyeong Palace,

right in front of the Newlywed Wedding Chapel.

I'll be waiting for you

there are 3 o'clock.

Sorry for interrupting.

Mr. Cho!

What did I tell you

about security around here?

What?

See that nerd

with the mustache?

Why the hell did you

let him into the set?

Since he was standing

right next to you, I thought

- he might be your friend.

- Oh, my God.

What makes you think

I would know a bum like that?

I've heard you'll be playing a very

hysterical character on this film.

Let's do one more person.

May I ask you name?

Your forever lover boy who gets

bigger with your, love, love, love.

Your lark on a sunny day,

I'm your funnyman Lee Jong-sae.

So I take it you'll be playing

a comedian in the movie?

I'm not an actor.

I'm a rookie director.

Oh, OK.

I'll be doing my first ever movie

with Mr. Jung's film company.

All right...

It will be a movie the whole

country will see in no time.

I see.

I'm going to be too busy

for interviews once it's released,

so you'd better ask me

everything while you can.

Look here.

That guy is

a trespasser on my set!

- All right?

- Get out of here!

Get over here.

What are you looking at?

Get back to work!

- Who are you, jerk?

- Excuse me?

Your forever lover boy who gets

bigger with your, love, love, love.

I'm your funnyman,

Lee Jong-sae.

Go on.

Get out, before

I get really mad.

It's 3 PM tomorrow,

at "The One" Cafe.

Makes sure the director

doesn't forget.

Scram!

Ladies and gentlemen.

Those of you who have graced

this evening with your presence

are undoubtedly great lover

of movies who understand

movies as a true romantic art form.

I would like to share

my excitement with all of you.

And...

and...

I would like to thank all of my staff,

who worked so hard to make it.

The honor of this receiving this prize

tonight is not limited to myself,

but it represents a great victory

for the great cinematic art

that shed a ray of hope

on thus dark, gloomy world.

Ow, hot. Hot!

Do you have something

by Lee Hyun-sae?

No. Just ones by Heo Young-man.

Mr. Director!

What on earth

are you doing here?

Looking for ideas

for my movie.

I saw the movie version of

this cartoon on the Late Cinema.

But the comic strip version

was much, much better.

Are you done reading that one?

Read it fast so

I can look at it, OK?

Comic strips nowadays are such

a bad influence on the children.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes