Garfield Page #2

which he's been doing a lot recently,

and it appears to have nothing to do with me.

Jon must want to go

for his own reason.

Well, there's nothing wrong

with Garfield.

He's just a happy,

fat, lazy cat.

No need for

a second opinion.

- Well, I worry about him.

- I know you do.

Ooh!

[Giggles]

You know, you care about him more than

any owner I've ever known.

"Him" has a name.

Is this an H.M.O.?

Let's get Garfield in for his dip.

I wanna talk to you in private.

- Mm. Oh!

- She's so beautiful.

Uh, Mr. Pathetic, you've had a crush

on her since high school.

Would you please ask her out so she can

reject you, and we can get on with my life?

- I have to ask her out.

- [Groans]

- Wish me luck.

- Okay, go get 'em, big tiger.

You the man. You the fella.

You the boss.

You preach to her. Show her how

the cow eats the cabbage...

you hopeless loser.

Betty, today, why don't you start me off

with a Swedish massage...

a manicure

and a pedicure, okay?

Seaweed wrap, loofah...

belly rub, uh...

tail waxing and then

crack my toes to finish.

Jon, there's something

important I need to ask you.

Something that I wouldn't ask

most guys who come in here.

Wait, no. I think I know

where this is going.

- You do?

- I do.

Liz, I've wanted to ask you

the same thing for a very long time.

- Are you sure that

we're talking about the same thing?

- Absolutely.

Yeah, uh, I've never been more sure

of anything in my entire life.

Liz, I am ready

to take a chance.

- I am ready for...

- [Yips]

[Laughs]

Thank you.

- A dog!

- [Laughs]

A dog.

I'm ready for a dog.

- [Laughs]

- Hi.

- Hey, I think he likes you.

- Hi. Yeah.

- [Whines]

- Hi.

[Chuckles] He's a frisky... frisky

little fella, isn't he?

His name's Odie,

and he's not gonna make it...

if he has to live

his life in a cage.

He needs to

be loved.

[Hair Dryer Blowing]

Well, thank you. Thank you very much,

ladies and gentlemen.

- No, maybe not in my neighborhood.

- [Whining]

Hey, Boomer,

I really gotta run.

Gotta fly, everybody. Really, please,

stay behind the security fences.

So great of you

to come out to see me...

but I've got somebody waiting for me,

very devoted, almost crippled.

- [Meowing]

- No, please, don't cry.

I know what it's like to be unloved.

Well, you do.

I'll try to come back and visit,

and if I don't, I'll try to write.

- Bye-bye.

- Does anybody know this guy?

Bye-bye, everybody.

Garfield is leaving the building.

Jon, you know you don't have to do this

if you don't want to.

No. No, it's okay.

Some part of me always wanted

to know what it'd be like...

to have a pet that actually

wants to play with you.

[Laughs]

You're a good friend.

One question... Am I still gorgeous?

[Gasps]

Jon, I think we got

a little problem here.

- [Whining]

- Uh, Jon...

I can help

the transition go smoothly.

[Garfield]

Jon, it's in my seat. Jon.!

- We could all go out together. Park, dog shows,

- Jon.! Uh, Jon?

- Stuff like that.

- Uh, Jonny boy?

W-Wait a minute.

Are... Are you... asking me out?

Oh, Jonny boy, the time has come

to get a car alarm.

You're not gonna believe it. A mongrel mutt

has broken into your car!

Garfield, this is Odie.

He's coming home with us.

Whoa! You went in there to get a date

and came out with a dog?

Oh, that's bad even for you.

Oh, you're so sad!

Oh, no, no, no. We're not

bringing a dog home with us.

Hey, I ride shotgun!

What are you looking at, tick boy?

[Garfield]

Jon, it's not too late.

Quickly, turn around...

before he finds out where we live.!

[Crying]

Please take this

trouser sniffer back.!

- Please.

- Come on, Odie. Let's go.

This is your new home.

[Crying]

Come on, buddy.

Jon, you had me,

a chick magnet...

and now you've got

a tick magnet.

[Sniffling]

Garfield,

Jon brought a dog home.

- I am aware, Nermal.

- Why would he do a thing like that?

Gee, I don't know, Nermal.

It just seems like

a weird thing to do...

bringing a dog into a house

that already has a cat.

Can we drop it?

I mean, it's no big... deal.

It's... just a splattered bug

on the windshield of my life.

A bug?

A dim-witted, smelly, goofy...

[Sighs]

Splattered bug that I will deal with

appropriately and enthusiastically.

- Come on.

- As you can see, I'm stillJon's favorite.

See ya later, Garfield.

Good luck with the bug thing!

Come on.

[Laughs] This is payback

for the liver thing, isn't it?

Payback.

[Laughs] He's a nut.

This is your new home, Odie.

That's my office over there.

And, uh, the TV over there.

- And, uh, the kitchen.

- Hm.

You wanna go see it?

Okay, go see the house. Go see it.

Why don't you draw him

a map?

Okay, I've gotta...

remain calm, that's all.

Jon's a cat guy,

not a dog guy.

This'll last a week,

maybe 10 days. Tops.

Boy, this puppy

is stupid gone wild!

Nah, this is just a bad dream. I'm gonna

close my eyes and when I open them...

everything will be

back to normal.

- [Panting]

- Ah! That's not normal.

Not close.

Oh, great.

Dog cooties.

Somebody inoculate me, please.

- [Thuds]

- [Shudders]

This is a nightmare. L...

I just need a little quality time

with man's real best friend...

television.

[Chuckles]

[Sputters]

No, no, no. No, no. No.

Hey, new guy, let me hip you

to the rules, okay?

Number one...

that's my chair, all right?

I even see you raise a leg,

and it's on, it's go time, pal.

Very well.

- [Smack]

- [Whines]

Yeah, I think I just may have

a mental advantage on this guy.

Leave me alone.

I'm not kidding, Yodel Odie.

Pop a worm pill

and hit the road. I'm busy.

You wanna play? Fine.

You can be my new astronaut.

Go jump in the pail,

and we'll shoot you into outer space.

Come on. It's real simple.

Here, I'll even throw your ball in there.

Follow the ball,

andjump in the pail.

Come on, Odie.

Just like this.

Come on over here and just jump

right into the pail, and help me.

Come on. No.

Just in here like this.

Uh-oh.!

Don't touch that.!

Aaah!

Oh, no.!

Whoa!

Aaah.!

Oh, no!

Houston, we have a problem.

Odie, get off the pail.

Would you get off

the pail, please?

Okay, time for a new game.

It's called

"my claw in your butt"game.

Come here! Get back here!

Come on!

I'll just use my left claw.

If my legs were longer,

I'd have caught you by now. Come here.

Just wait for one second.

Slow... down.

- [Laughs]

- Ahhh... -

Well, well, well.

I've got you now, fat cat.

Hey, Luca, is that a new chain

you're wearin', fella?

Looks good on ya. You look great.

You been working out?

Oh, I've been waiting

years for this.

- Would that be regular years or dog years?

- [Growls]

- [Cowering]

- [Barks]

What the... Get away

from me, pip-squeak.

Uh, Luca, this is Odie.

Odie, Luca.

Luca, do me a favor and eat him for me,

would you, please?

- [Girl Cat] Garfield, are you all right?

- I think so.

Luca's about

to have Odie for lunch.

If it wasn't for Odie,

you'd be Luca's chew toy.

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