Gascoigne Page #9

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Who said to me that I never

had a laugh when I was drinking?

I've had great times when I've been

drinking with the guys.

Having a game of dominos and pool

and stuff like that.

It was when sometimes I sit alone

and I have a drink,

and then, that was when

I can be dark and depressing.

I just had bad little blips

where I'm not Paul any more.

I'm not Gazza. I'm not Paul Gascoigne.

I'm just, like...

I'm just alone.

Which I sometimes don't like.

I have been close to death twice,

I must admit.

But I managed to pull through

and it's an illness I have and...

I've probably got it for the rest of my life.

It's whether I accept it or not.

Sometimes I find it hard

and sometimes I find it really easy.

I know how to stay sober

and I know how to relapse.

I'm good at both, really.

Good evening.

The News of the World phone hacking scandal

started as one bad apple,

a rogue journalist or maybe two,

who'd taken their supposed

investigations a little too far.

Today, the dam broke.

A few years ago and something

happened with my phone a lot.

I remember calling my dad up

and we'll get cut off.

And my dad says

there's something wrong with his phone.

"Well, there's something up,"

and I said, "I wonder if I'm getting tapped."

Then I remember speaking to my mum once,

and it come out in the papers.

And so I went to my mum saying,

"What the f*** are you doing?

Why are you speaking to the papers?

"Mum, you're the only one I've told,

I've not talked to anybody."

And she got upset and she went,

"I haven't." I says, "You have."

I says, "Mum you are the only I've just

said it to. I didn't speak to her for a week.

And then I spoke to my dad

and then that come out in the papers.

So I went off...

Well, I didn't go off with my dad.

I just never went off on him.

I just went, "Dad, have you spoke

to the papers? Are you selling a story on us?"

And it was embarrassing for me to do that

and then I started drinking.

Drinking too much.

And then, I started getting paranoid.

I didn't speak to my family for a few months.

I didn't speak to anybody.

I just started drinking.

And that's the time when I took coke,

and this was about 11 years ago

and I was doing that.

And then I went to the spy shop

and I bought gadgets.

A lot of money's worth.

So I kept on ringing my family

and then I started speaking to the family

and I says, "My phone is getting hacked."

Someone's listening to

my conversations,"

and my family went, There's something

wrong with you. You're paranoid."

What I started doing was texting myself.

So I'd text myself and say,

"Listen, you C-U-N-T.

"I know what you're doing, you bastard.

"I'm gonna get the police on you."

And then all of a sudden

I'd make a call and it'd be free.

And then a couple of weeks later

it would start again.

I stayed indoors. Went to a hotel.

Got out of the house because

I thought my house phone

was getting hacked. I went into a hotel.

I started drinking in the hotel

for five weeks or six weeks.

My family come to me then.

They seen the way I was, the state I was in.

They wouldn't come. They were saying,

"You drink too much"

And the family weren't answering

the f***ing door to us.

They were shutting the curtains,

in case I turned up.

Then I got sectioned, my sister sectioned us.

"He's crazy. The guy's went crazy."

And, to be fair, I think she saved my life.

And then I rang Scotland Yard police.

I went, "This is my number.

"Listen to every phone call I make

for the next six month."

And then bang, got 'em.

You know, to get found that I was right,

it was a great feeling.

You know, it was unbelie...

I don't think I deserved to go through that.

And nobody does. Nobody.

I mean, look at the damage it did

to Princess Diana. Where is she now?

I didn't want the damages.

I didn't want a payment from them.

I just wanted to go to court and tell the judge

exactly how much they've damaged me.

There's no question that Gazza is

one of the most-loved people in our country.

Yes, he's made his mistakes,

but who doesn't?

I think what made him so special

was the lack of fear in his game.

That he would try anything,

he would never be scared

that something would go wrong.

And probably more than anything else,

the love of showing off

the abilities that he had

and I think that's what lifts him apart.

In terms of overall, all-round player,

then I think none of them

can compare to Paul Gascoigne.

I trained with him a few times

when I was young and playing for Everton

and that was a great honour for me.

You could see the talent was incredible,

and it was great to watch up close

and try and learn from the greatest player

that England have had.

There was the one time at the...

He come in the dressing room

when we were in there, the youth team,

and he asked if any of the players

were going out later on that night.

So I was the only one who said I was.

So he gave me 40 to go out.

Again, it shows his character. What he is.

And I don't think there's any other player

in the Everton dressing room at the time

who would've come in and even

spoke to us as a group of young players.

I'll have to give him that 40 back.

He was what he was as a player.

He is what he is as a man.

200 miles per hour,

and when you go so fast, it's dangerous.

Obviously, his career could be even better

if he was supported in a different way.

The clubs, they are much more ready

to support players

and to bring players in the right direction.

But, in the end of the day,

I like always to think

that he enjoyed

every moment of his career.

So, I don't know,

if it was better to be even a better player

but don't enjoy so much

or to be what he was as a player

but enjoy career as much as you do.

I loved the buzz of going out

and hearing the roar

and they've singing your name, you know?

Give them a goal in the top corner

and you get the lads jumping around you,

and they're buzzing and shaking your hand

and It's just one big fairy tale

which eventually comes to an end.

Me and my life, I would

probably like to be remembered

for being the Paul Gascoigne

that people have met throughout my life.

I'd like to think the people around us,

I'd made them proud,

made myself proud, and everybody else

that was involved with my life, proud.

My mum and dad, especially.

Yes.

- Thank you.

- Cheers.

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