Gentlemen Broncos

Synopsis: Benjamin, home-schooled by his eccentric mother, is a loner whose passion for writing leads him on an journey as his story first gets ripped off by the legendary fantasy novelist, Ronald Chevalier, and then is adapted into a disastrous movie by the small town's most prolific homespun filmmaker.
Director(s): Jared Hess
Production: Fox Searchlight Pictures
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.2
Metacritic:
28
Rotten Tomatoes:
19%
PG-13
Year:
2009
90 min
Website
862 Views


In the year 3535

Ain't gonna need

to tell the truth, tell no lies

Everything you think, do and say

Is in the pill you took today

In the year 4545

Ain't gonna need your teeth,

won't need your eyes

You won't find a thing to chew

Nobody's gonna look at you

In the year 5555

Your arms are hanging

limp at your sides

Your legs got nothing to do

Some machine's doing that for you

In the year 6565

Ain't gonna need no husband,

won't need no wife

You'll pick your son,

pick your daughter, too

From the bottom

of a long glass tube, whoa-oh

In the year 7510

If God's a-coming

He ought to make it by then

Maybe he'll look around himself and say

Guess it's time for the Judgment Day

In the year 8510

God is gonna shake his mighty head

He'll either say,

'"I'm pleased where man has been '"

Or tear it down and start again, whoa-oh

In the year 9595

I'm kind of wondering

if man is gonna be alive

He's taken everything

this old Earth can give

And he ain't put back nothing, whoa-oh

Now it's been 10,000 years

Man has cried a billion tears

For what he never knew

Now man's reign is through

Benjamin.

What are you doing? We're going to be late.

- Are you excited?

- Yeah.

And guess what?

I heated up the hot water bottle

so you can sit on it while we drive.

In the year 2525

If man is still alive

If woman can survive

they may find

Benjy, I'm so glad you signed up for this.

I think this is gonna be

a really neat opportunity for you.

- Hey. You Benjamin?

- Yeah.

I'm Mr. Keefe,

the homeschool co-op advisor this year,

but you can call me Todd,

or some people just like to call me Keefe.

I think you're really gonna enjoy

the Cletus Festival this year.

It's the best writers' camp in the state.

Keefe, can you tell me how much money

he's gonna need for two days?

You think 4 bucks would be enough?

- Uh... I'd say more like 40, maybe

- Really?

Well, we better hit the road.

Got a big day tomorrow.

Be safe.

Hey, Benjy.

Remember who you are

and what you stand for.

I love you forever and ever.

Good morning, homeschoolers

Is everybody excited

for Cletus Fest or what?

Yeah.

We will be stopping for lunch

at the Kozy Cafe in Echo

Some of you can afford to eat there,

but those who can't will just eat

the food they brought from home

Are there any questions?

Whether you like it or not,

when you get overseas,

- especially to Europe, I think...

- Right.

- It's different.

- It's totally different.

And you're completely infused

with another energy,

whether you open yourself up to it or not.

- So, I found it really, really inspiring.

- Hey, Benjamin.

Come here, I want you to meet someone.

Benjamin,

I'd like you to meet Tabatha Jenkins.

She's new to the co-op as well. Kind of.

She spent all last year as

a foreign exchange student out in Europe.

Cool. Where did you go?

Brussels.

Benjamin is from Saltair,

and he likes to write sci-fi stories.

Keefe is so dang awesome.

Yeah, he seems pretty cool.

I write French mysteries, you know.

How long you been doing that?

Mainly the last six months.

I write about a stable hand named Pierre.

Can I borrow some money

to buy some tampons?

All my cash is still in euros and I haven't

had time to change it over yet.

What? Yeah, sure.

Thanks. I owe you big time.

Don't worry about it.

Sorry, they didn't have any, so I just

bought some treats for me and Lonnie.

Hey, can we come sit by you?

Hey, Lonnie, bring our stuff.

Let's sit over here.

Benjamin, this is Lonnie Donaho.

- Hi.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.

He has his own video production company,

Donaho Studios.

Since I've been away,

he's been shooting my work on weekends.

I sent him my latest installments via e-mail.

It's been an amazing experience.

How many films have you made?

Mmm. Eighty-three.

But some are just trailers.

Dang. That's a lot.

Do you produce only Tabatha's work?

No. I do all kind of movies.

Horse movies, romance, soaps, fantasies...

Hey, Lonnie, can you squirt me

some of that lotion we just bought?

Will you give me a hand massage?

Yeah.

Yeah, I can do that.

You guys are so lucky

you get to be roommates.

Mine just wants to eat.

Hey. I don't think you're allowed to be here.

Mr. Keefe is right next door.

Relax, Benjamin,

I just want to get to know you better.

So, when are you gonna let me read

one of your stories?

I don't know.

I usually don't let people read my stuff.

Why not?

I've let my mom read a few,

but they've just made her cry.

Most people just get sicked out

and stop reading.

Really? Are there romantic sequences?

No. None of that crap. It's just some mild

swearing and sci-fi violence.

Well, have you tried posting

any of your stories online?

Yeah. But everybody can do that, you know.

I want to get published for real.

Ronald Chevalier had his first trilogy

published when he was 15.

Well, you'll never get anywhere

by just letting your mom read your work.

You can read this. It's called Yeast Lords

The Nad Lab was a cold,

white room

Bronco, the last of the Yeast Lords,

lay spread-eagle,

strapped to a medical pod

Someone had stolen his yeast,

and he had gone totally ape-sh

What the crap?

Oh, my... My gems!

Sorry, Bronco.

We had to borrow one of your gonads.

Daysius. I should've known it was you.

Oh, I'm not the real Lord Daysius.

My name is Dennis.

I'm one of his many clones.

We're all very sorry.

Lord Daysius sends his regards.

But we're investigating ways

to strengthen the military.

Your gonad is being used for research.

You took my nads.

We only took one.

You took my nads, Dennis.

I know you're upset,

but we plan to give it back.

We'll be done with it very soon.

Darn you, flippin' Daysius.

Get away from me with that. You hear me?

Relax, Bronco. This will ease the pain.

You release me, my cat's hungry.

Release me!

You tell Lord Daysius

to eat the corn out of my crap.

Good night, Benjamin.

I really need to think about this one.

Program.

Program.

Before we commence the activities,

I'd like to introduce you

to a very special person

He is a man who has repeatedly

probed our imaginations for decades

A man whose canon of work has pushed

the envelope of science and reason

A man who has created such realistic

characters, I call them friends

Chevalier.

He's talking about Ronald Chevalier.

Without further ado,

I give you one of the greatest

science fiction authors of our time,

Dr Ronald Chevalier

Thank you. So good to see you, Cletus.

Greetings and salutations

It is such an honor to be in the midst

of so many juvescent ripe minds

When I was your age,

I had just completed my first trilogy,

a body of work you now know

as The Cyborg Harpies.

- I love you, Ronald!

- Thank you

But what many people fail to recognize

is that I created over 49 different

pieces of cover art for that trilogy

No way.

In this first piece, we see an early

rendering of a harpy named Linda

Here, she uses her knowledge of lasers

to rupture the crust of a distant moon

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Jared Hess

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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