George of the Jungle Page #6

you and Ursula together...

would be unbefitting

her social stature.

You see? Let me put it in a way

you might understand.

Where you come from...

zebras marry zebras

and leopards marry leopards.

Stripes with stripes,

spots with spots.

Well, Ursula is a stripe

and you are a spot...

one which I intend to have removed

as soon as possible.

So you no want Ursula

to love George.

I would rather have my tongue nailed to

this table every morning at breakfast.

- That hurt.

- Not as much as you will

if you do anything...

to screw up my daughter's marriage

to Lyle Van de Groot.

When Lyle returns, this wedding

will proceed as planned.

If you do anything to upset that...

I will remove your reason

for wearing a loin cloth.

Steak tartare, Mrs Stanhope?

Oh, no, no. Thank you.

I've had quite enough protein for today.

Have a pleasant evening,

Mr Jungle.

Tookie? Tookie!

Tookie.

George so happy to see Tookie.

Ape kidnapped?

Ape ape-napped?

George save Ape!

Ursula.

Well, of course he went back to the

jungle. Where else would go... the Hague?

But why would he leave

without saying goodbye?

Well, personally I think he acted

rather sensibly. Showed good character.

He understands that he belongs there,

you belong here.

It's really all a question

of stripes and spots.

What? Oh, no.

You got to him.

Mother, what did you say?

I simply said that if he

really cared for you...

he'd leave you alone and let you

get on with your life and marry Lyle.

- I am not marrying Lyle, Mother.

- Beatrice, perhaps we should just...

Arthur! Now, Ursula darling,

don't be ridiculous.

There's a big difference

between marriageable material

and a fling in the jungle.

"A fling in the jungle"?

"A fling in the jungle."

Who says I had

a fling in the jungle?

You don't think you can

fool your mother, do you?

You've been head over heels for that ape

ever since you brought him here.

Now, Ursula, that kind of love

is fleeting. You'll get over it.

- Did you just say "love"?

- No.

- You did.

- Ursula.

- You're right.

- Don't say it.

- I love him. I'm outta here.

Ursula, you can't love him.

Arthur, say something.

- Be careful out there, honey.

- What?

- Goodbye, Daddy.

- I love you.

- Wha...

- I love you, Mom. Thank you.

- Ursula... Arthur, do something!

- What would you have me do?

- There's obviously no stopping her.

- Oh, God.

- Ursula!

- God, that woman's a pain in the ass.

Meanwhile,

halfway across the world...

another ass was feeling pain...

as an ape named Ape

was caged in a cage...

hoping to hear

the jungle king's awesome...

Hey, I'm pretty good at that...

and wondering

if he would ever come.

But the motion-sick mammal

needn't have moaned...

for that defender of the innocent,

protector of the weak...

and all-around good guy

George of the Jungle...

was closer than he knew.

Next time George get bigger box.

Oh! Bad luck.

- Did you hear something?

- What?

- I heard a noise.

- Shut up and push!

Oh, I think I chipped a tooth.

- Oh, Thor, you're disgusting.

- God, that wasn't me.

Not me.

- I'm hungry.

- Oh, shut up.

You've been yakkin' for 2 days straight,

and I'm gettin' mad enough to...

You know, you really should

work on your anger.

Have you tried Brankowski's

"Cage the Rage" technique?

Don't let him get to you, Thor.

He's just an ape.

That's a fine way to talk

to your meal ticket.

You keep that up, it's liable

to affect my stage performance.

Give him a banana, Thor.

It won't be long now.

That's what you said yesterday.

This trail's taking us

to the middle of nowhere.

The sign at the trail head said

"Short cut to Ape River."

Now, why would it say "short cut"

if it wasn't a...

Wait a minute.

Maybe it's a fake, a decoy trail.

Very good, Max.

Actually, the trail is a fake.

It circles Ape Mountain six times before

heading right back to the tree house.

- Ohh! Oh, I knew we was lost.

- Don't listen to him, Thor.

He's just tryin' to trick us,

lead us off the short cut...

so we take twice as long

on the regular trail.

We're already taking twice as long!

Are you gonna let a monkey

make a monkey out of ya?

- What?

- Duh!

Let's go. If he tells us the short cut

leads to the tree house...

then that's exactly

where it doesn't lead.

Ape?

- Poor ape-napped brother.

- Careful.

Max, look.

We're back at the tree house.

Well, I tried, but you fellas

are just too smart for me.

- Oh, no!

- "Oh, no" was right,

for the exhausted ape-nappers had...

Hey! Why don't you say something

constructive for a change,

like what we should do now.

- Because I don't like you.

- Well, I hate you, you snotty son of a...

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Having some fun now, hmm?

- Thor, were you fighting

with the narrator?

- Well, he started it.

- Did not.

- You did too!

- Did not.

- You did too!

- Did not!

- You did too!

- Thor, stop it!

- Ohh.

That's it. I'm not draggin'

this thing another inch.

- What are you doing? Get back there

and work. Where are you going?

- You wretched little weasel.

Aren't you the little weasel,

you big brontosaurus?

- Let's take care of him.

- Huh? Huh?

Whoa!

Why didn't you come sooner?

Why Ape have little stars

around head?

George, remember

everything I taught you about

Queensberry rules and fighting fair?

- Uh-huh.

- Well, now's a good time to forget it.

Let's finish him off.

- Oh, I can't breathe, Max.

- Let it out, Thor. Let it out.

Right, jungle boy.

- Huh?

- Huh?

Tookie-Tookie!

- Take this!

- Stop it! Ape!

Get it off!

Get it off of me, Max!

All right!

Shep, look out!

Ursula?

George good teacher.

George. George.

I came all this way to tell you that...

Ursula talk later.

George busy now.

- What?

- Fella got toucan on can.

I know.

Good show, George.

And you too, Tookie.

Oh, my hero.

Did I just say that?

- George. Over here, George!

- Ape, sit tight. George be right back.

Oh, I say.

Now George can talk.

What Ursula come back to say?

Only that I know in my heart...

that I really, truly...

- Haven't seen the light yet.

- Lyle.

- Lyle?

- Yes, Lyle.

For the venal Van de Groot had escaped

from the Bujumbura jail...

and joined an obscure cult

on the shores of Lake Tanganyika...

which had empowered him with

a peculiar piece of parchment.

- What are you doing here?

- Surprised, my little cupcake?

You see, I'm now

an mail-order minister...

ordained the Church of Celestial

Power and Light, Incorporated...

capable of performing legally binding

marriage ceremonies anywhere.

- Lyle, I'm not marrying you.

- Actually, you are.

- Come on, let's go.

Come along, my little African queen.

- George.

Now George really mad.

George tear off your...

- At ease, jungle boy.

- Everybody freeze now!

Operation completed

as ordered, sir.

Thank you, Gunnar, Gunter,

Hans, Jan and Phil.

No hard feelings, stone belly.

The best man won.

That's all.

I should say, the guy who brought

mercenaries won. That's all.

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