George Washington Page #3

...she dumped me for this dude | who was poor, fat and ugly.

And it's just like you said. | It's like I was lookin' at myself, like...

...man!

You know, and it just made | you feel like crap, man.

Like real crap.

Now the only women I even like | are my mom's friends.

Your mom's friends?

- "Yeah. " | - Hey, man, play your own game.

I just hope they're better lookin' | than my mom's friends...

...all drunk and raisin' hell | every night of the week.

I mean, my mom's friends are fine.

Man, my mom's all right, though. | I mean, she's a handsome woman...

...and I'd say she's almost perfect.

She's, like, just super nice. | You know what I mean?

She'll knit you a sweater | if you even shiver.

- You know what I mean? | - Yeah.

- Hey, Aunt Ruth. | - Mm-hmm.

Why don't Uncle Damascus like animals?

He just don't like 'em, George. | They bother him.

Does he like lions, even?

I never asked him.

What about chickens? Does he like them?

He'd like to eat 'em.

Does he like dogs?

Why not?

He just don't like to be bothered by them.

George had to be very careful | never to get his head wet.

See, his fontanel was | very, very, very, very soft.

Like a baby's head.

And when he soaks it or itches it...

...it irritates his brain.

He don't like it, 'cause if somebody hit him | in his head, he'd probably die.

Stop playin'!

Do you remember the first time | we made love to this song?

We were out in that field.

You buried me in that grass.

Why is it that every time you start talkin', | you sound like you're gonna...

...cry?

- George. | - Huh?

- I miss Momma. | - You didn't even know Momma.

So, did she love me?

Not as much as she loved me.

Why not?

'Cause you couldn't do the funny dance.

I can too.

Well, you can now. Back then, | you was only one years old.

You couldn't even stand up straight.

We used to call you Turkey Legs.

Good night, Whitney.

Good night.

If ever you're afraid...

Don't feel all alone...

The Holy Spirit's watching you...

Hey, Buddy, you ever been baptized?

No, man. I ain't into that kind of stuff.

The Holy Spirit is ever so near...

He will always hear you...

When you pray...

Hey, George, you like Nasia, man?

No, man.

I saw you two talkin' the other day.

Man, we was just talkin'. | That's it. Nothin' more.

- We still cool, right, though? | - Yeah, man.

Whenever you will go away...

He will always stay...

Dunk man!

Help me!

- Come here, boy! | - Aaaah!

Dunk man!

Let go of me!

Aaah!

- Hi. | - Hi.

I'm Tyler.

I can hold my breath for six minutes.

I got T.M.J.'s disease.

- What's that? | - It's a jaw problem.

How you get that neck brace?

I was trying to do a 360 | on my skateboard, and I ran into a wall.

Shut up! I saw you over there | talkin' to them Mexican girls, man.

You little punk, you can't skateboard.

- Marco! | - Polo!

Shut up! You ain't even playin'. | What's wrong with you, man?

Man, I saw you bust today. | You can't even swim.

Talkin' about you can swim, | but you can't even swim.

- I bet you can't swim. | - I swim better than you!

- You can't! | - Can't none of y'all swim.

I saw all of y'all bustin', | doin' belly flops on the diving board.

- You can't swim, neither. | - I saw you doin' belly flops.

- You can't even swim. | - I had to get out of the water. You was gonna drown...

...me.

Man, you're crazy, man. | I be flippin' off old ladies' heads, off...

...buildings...

- Can you do a one-and-a-half? Can you do a one-and-a-half? | - Huh?

All right, see, that's my case.

- I can do a one-and-a-half, but you can't. | - Man, get out of...

...here.

- "One-and-a-half is a flip. " | - Man, y'all gotta see this cat head when he...

...get in the water.

His head starts swelling up. | His gums start bleeding, yo.

You know them little... What you call this?

- Little dinosaurs you put in the water, they swell up. | - Yeah.

Yeah, that's what he look like | when he get in the water. He like a sponge.

It's a damn shame!

- Come on, y'all. Let's get out of here. | - Come on.

- "All right, bro. " | - Man, what's wrong with your little brother?

What's wrong with you?

Man, you know what I want? | I want some "ah-cream. "

Man, enunciate your words, man. Pronounce.

Ice cream? Is that what you said?

Ice cream.

Big money, baby. I need a new pair of shoes.

I really need a new pair of shoes.

Come on, big money!

Hah, y'all sad and blue now, ain't ya?

- "Hey, George! Check this out. " | - "Don't do that. "

Y'all pitiful about it, ain't ya?

Well, look at you! You still | tryin' to get a decent woman.

- At least I had one. | - Hey, man, she weren't that decent if she dumped you.

- "Yeah. " | - "Man, I gotta use the bathroom, man. "

"Pee. "

Who cares what you gotta do? | Don't tell the whole world.

Man, look at this place, man. Look like a tor... | Two tornadoes came through...

...here.

It even looks worse than my mom's, | my mom's yard, man, 'cause we don't mow...

...it.

It even looks worse than that, man.

Hey, man, what's wrong with your mom?

Well... She just got a hard time | gettin' to sleep at night.

- That's all that is. | - I heard you gotta sing to her and stuff, man.

Yeah. But that's none of your business.

How'd you get here so fast? | I'll have to beat you up, man.

Shut up, punk. Bring it here. | I'll... Come here. Hold on.

What? Bring it on, baby. Come on, baby!

Smooth.

Quit it! Come on!

Stop it! Put me down!

You about to cry, boy?

Sonya, quit playing with that doo-doo, girl.

Sonya, put that doo-doo down, girl.

Sonya, quit playing | with that doo-doo, man...

...'cause I swear to God if you get | any on me, I'm gonna beat you down.

God dog, Sonya, you gotta be | the dumbest person in captivity.

Great. You broke my nose.

Good. Maybe you won't be goin' | around throwin' doo-doo on people.

Oh, God, y'all stupid, man. | I love every one of ya.

See? Now it looks like gravy.

Man, shut up, man! Don't ever | talk to me or touch me again.

Yo, George, I got my wrestlin' | uniform in the mail yesterday.

Kinda cool, huh?

It's too big, man.

It's like I could fit both of my legs | through one leg hole.

"I gotta take a leak, man. "

What's up?

Hey, George, guess what, "man. | This Korean dude yesterday"...

He told me this joke. What do you call | something that's brown and sticky?

- What? | - A stick.

- Man, that's the dumbest joke. | - Man, hell no!

Open up!

Not my nuts, man!

Gettin'out of shape. Are you gay?

When I break your heart, | I'll break your bones.

Everybody knows that, 'cause I am Buddy.

Man, hell no. My hand fell | in some piss. That ain't fair.

Yes, it is. Oh, God!

Help me, dude!

Come on!

Let go of me!

God, man! You act so retarded.

- Ow. | - George.

Man, I didn't mean to do that.

Are you all right, man?

George, stay back, man. | George, come on, man.

I didn't mean to mess up | your head like that.

Oh, man!

Buddy? Buddy? Get up, man.

Ow. Oh, my head.

Aw, man, you bumped your head hard.

You all right?

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