Gerontophilia Page #2

-There's a photo in that top drawer,

would you hand it

to me, please.

Look at him. So smooth like the

cactus liked off his whiskers.

And that's me.

I was in rather good

shape don't you think?

-I guess so.

I like the way you look now.

When medication are you on?

Anas Nin. There's a feminist you

don't want to f*** with.

She's on my list.

-What is this list you're

always talking about?

-Private joke.

Ouh! Alice Monroe. I love

Lives of Girls and Women.

Margaret Laurence, Jest of God.

-What can I say, I love

Canadian feminist writers.

-So, can I borrow these?

-To tell you the truth,

I have a thing about lending

my books, but you're welcome

to come over anytime you want

to read.

-Seriously.

Oh wow! SCUM Manifesto.

-First edition.

I'm impressed.

But...

Now, I might have to kill you.

-Seriously?

-I'm not kidding.

Your hair is nice.

-Thank you, so is yours.

This band sounds like

The Pixies. Hut the good part

of The Pixies, Kim Deal.

Kelley is hotter.

-They're both hot.

They're on my list.

Don't be anal.

I have to pee.

Don't forget to wash your hands.

Hit me.

-Not just yet. First

we need another tip off.

I hope we have enough

for Vermouth.

-...'muth', dear, 'muth'.

Remember just a tad.

You don't want

to bruise the gin.

Old men and gin

bruise so easily.

M. Peabody, what's

going on in there?

Are you both out of your minds?

-It was his idea.

-Great. Pick up

your shoes. Let's go.

Do you know what your mother

would say if she found out

about this?

-How will she nd out?

-What am I going to do with you?

Aille, aille, aille get dressed.

Let's go.

Come on, hurry up.

Come on, come on.

I really don't know what

I'm going to do with you.

Sorry, I haven't been

around much lately.

I've been working a lot.

So have I.

Are you sure there isn't

something else?

Lake, tell me.

You know that you can talk

to me about anything.

-Are you sure about that?

I think there might

be something wrong with me.

I think I may have a...

A fetish.

You mean like leather?

-Not that bad.

I saw your sketchbook.

Is that what you're

talking about?

Those drawings?

Okay, this is like freaking

me out a little bit,

so um... I have to give the car back to my dad. Do you want me

to drop you off?

-No, thanks. I think I'll walk.

I'm not a saint.

What's wrong with

you today, boy?

l think l broke up

with my girlfriend.

What was her name again?

-Desiree.

-Ah yes, Desiree.

-Such a poetic name,

the desired one.

Did I tell you that historically

she was the ance...

-Of Napolon, yeah, you told me.

Would you like to talk about it?

-No, that's okay.

Melvin,

Do you ever think

about the future?

If you could go anywhere

in the world, where would you

want to go?

-I've always wanted to visit

the Pacic ocean again,

but maybe that's a little

too pie in the sky.

At this point, I'd settle

for some fresh air.

Hey bro.

There you go.

Okay, that's good.

Melvin?

I'm going to get

you out of here.

What did you do to him?

Lake, have

a drink. What's wrong?

-I'm talking about Melvin,

Mr. Peabody.

You and this old man...

...it's just not right!

-I don't know what you're

talking about.

-You know what I'm talking

about. Everybody knows what

I'm talking about. It's disgusting.

Didn't I raise you right?

-Mom, you're drunk,

you're imagining things.

Don't lie to your mother!

Of course I'm drunk.

My son is f***ing

an 80 year old man!

-Mom, what's disgusting is how

those old men are being treated.

It's like Night of the Living Dead in that place.

-Don't make excuses

about what you're doing.

And don't walk away

while I'm talking to you.

Lake, open the door!

Lake, open the door now.

-Where are you going?

-For a drive.

-Not with my car, you're not.

Give me the keys.

Give me my goddamn keys!

-You mean these?

Mom!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

Forget about those,they're

the worst car accessory.

You're taking away my dice.

I love those dice.

-We're not going to have anything from Mr. Nelson

in the car.

Thanks Desiree.

I owe you big time.

-Is Marie okay?

-She'll live.

Okay Melvin.

-Lake, this is crazy.

-Can you help me?

His arm, his arm's on me, okay.

-The other arm, Melvin.

Come on, the other arm.

Okay.

I'm going to go and check

if we can get through.

All clear.

This doesn't really feel like breaking out.

It's too easy.

Sh*t...

Who was that?

-That's a saint.

Okay

Oh... God! Okay.

You got him?

Where are you taking him?

-He said he wants to see

the Pacic ocean again

and something about a pie

in the sky.

-In this beater

you're taking him.

-I just have to get him out

of here. It's like horror

hospital in there, so...

It doesn't matter where we are.

-Are you sure that's where

you're going?

-Why else would I be doing it?

-Okay, I've been thinking about

this a lot since the last time

I saw you. What I wanted

to tell you is um...

I think that what you are doing

and what you are is really

brave.

And the fact that you're acting on it,

you know, like it's

revolutionary. All these ideas that people have about like

aging and beauty and what makes

somebody desirable, you're

going against that.

You're ghting against nature.

And do you see how

radical that is?

And what I also wanted

to tell you is that...

If you were a girl,

You'd be on my list.

-Desiree...

-But the f***ed up part is

that what you are means

that we can't be together anymore.

You know that right?

I don't know what I am.

My God, I wish we were

the ones escaping.

I'll text you.

Okay, go.

Go.

I love you.

Hey!

Did you have any more

roommates after that?

-Here and there.

I was even married once.

If you can believe that.

-Married? To a woman?

-At the time it was the only

option. It was the 70's.

Even in the theater world,

if you weren't married after

the age of 40, there was

something wrong with you.

Were you in love with her?

-It was a kind of love.

Miraculously, we even conceived

one drunken winter's night.

Two years after our son was born,

she divorced me

and took him away to another city.

From that point on,

I was a conrmed bachelor.

Good afternoon, young lady,

I wonder if you could direct

me to the notions department.

-Notions, what's that?

-My apologies, sowing kits, needles, threads, that sort

of thing. I'm afraid I've

Iost a button on my jacket.

-Yeah, it's down isle 4,

at the end on the bottom.

-Ah, thank you. This is my grandson.

We're travelling

across the country together.

-He's your grandson?

-Yes. Although some days,

I really wish he weren't.

He's quite the locker, isn't he?

Well, I'll be right back.

You two, stay out of trouble.

-Such a cute old man.

My own grandpa's mean as a snake.

My parents put him into

some retirement home,

Sunny Valley or something.

I don't blame them though,

in his case elder abuse

would be entirely justied.

Um, I need a map of Canada.

-Sure thing.

It's cute that you're

travelling with your grandpa.

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