Get Hard Page #8

Stand back. I'll handle it.

How does a million dollars sound?

Million dollars sound like a one with six zeros

behind it with two commas separating them.

However, from the sound of CNN

and the looks of The Wall Street Journal...

...and everybody else with eyes and ears go

to get they news, you broke, motherf***er.

Your assets have been frozen

with no chances of thawing anytime soon.

So you probably got as much or less...

...than this little no-good, manipulative,

degenerate motherf***er...

...right here next to you.

Which forces me to ask the question,

"Are you f***ing with me?"

You think this a motherfucking game?

You think I'm playing?

Why would you come up in my hood,

in my house...

...and present yourself as something you

not, offering sh*t you can't deliver?

- Did this motherf***er tell you to lie to me?

- Russ.

Shut the f*** up, man.

I think, real fast, you need to tell me

what the f*** you gonna do...

...to make me wanna keep motherfuckers

off your ass.

You're talking to James King.

Let me create wealth for you.

So the normal minimum buy-in

to the Nexel Fund is 5 million...

...but I can get you guys in using

a brokerage pocket account.

In other words, liquidate two bricks

of cocaine and park it right here.

With the historical performance of the fund,

that's gonna double every three to five years...

...and we're looking at,

mm, $1.2 million easy.

Ain't no way you're making that much money

without committing a crime.

With apologies to Balzac.

What the f***?

You talking about my ballsack?

No. What we're gonna do

is we get other people's money...

...who've made an opposite prediction

on the market.

Okay, we gonna roll on them

and take they money.

Just how strapped

are these loser motherfuckers?

Oh, I wouldn't worry.

I've taken millions from them...

...and they haven't stepped to me yet.

Loser motherfuckers.

Damn. Mayo is badass.

Stock market is gangster. Take what's

yours and f*** the other guy, right?

Wall Street, man.

Those are the real criminals.

Those guys get away with murder.

Wait, man.

You murder people all the time, Black.

Oh, yeah. Murder's my favorite.

And they think, "Oh,

please, don't kill me."

I love it. And I'm like,

"I'm not gonna kill you."

They relax, then I'm like,

"Boom, get on the ground now!

Get on the ground! Get on the ground!"

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

- I get excited about murder.

- Don't worry about it.

I'm... I'm laughing.

You should know, you did

all right this time.

Your boy, Mayo, is an earner.

Are you gonna get him some help

on the inside?

I'll help him.

But not with us.

You know, inside it's all about color.

Dude need a white gang.

A very white gang.

But I'll put the play together.

That's the gang I have to join?

They seem kind of racist.

Ain't no "kind of." They are.

That's the Alliance of Whites.

That's also your only chance

of survival in prison...

...so you need to go in there and you need to

make them believe that you're one of them.

Matter of fact, call me the N-word. But say

it like you mean it, though. Let me hear it.

What? No.

That's the wrong N-word. Come on, James,

I'm giving you a free pass right now.

In this truck, the N-word is perfectly fine.

Just another word right now. Go ahead.

That still doesn't feel...

Let's try this.

What's that place where your leg bends?

My knee?

Okay. And, uh, what noise

does a angry dog make?

- Grr?

- Put it together, though.

Knee. Knee-grr.

- Ow!

- Oh, sh*t! I'm sorry.

I am sorry, man, that just happened.

That literally just happened.

Wow, I got you good too.

It just, like, jumped out, man.

It was a reflex. I really can't tell you.

I didn't even say it.

I was saying two other words.

I apologize, James.

What do you want me to do?

Just get your ass out the car

and go in there, act hard.

Fit in, man. Go ahead.

Cut the light off! Sh*t!

F*** yeah!

Spider, you're up.

Watch and learn, son.

Hi.

Um...

If I could have your attention, please.

I'm just looking for Spider?

He's a narc!

Listen, this relationship

can't just be built around him.

You got a right to be happy too,

you know?

And I am, I am. And I think I'm open

to it now because of our talk.

Yeah. That's good. I love the fact

that you're listening. I love that.

You know, you're the best boyfriend

I never had.

Ha, ha. Okay. Ha-ha-ha.

Yeah, well, I'm not totally giving up.

There is time.

- And things change with time.

- No, no, they don't.

No. No, no. That's never gonna happen.

- You say that now.

- No, no, no. I'm always gonna say that.

- Okay.

- Ha-ha-ha.

Okay.

Oh, sh*t.

Hey, I gotta go, okay?

So I'll talk to you later. Have fun.

Private club, Jew Hair.

Good one, Spider.

I walked right into that one. Heh.

James King. Protestant.

But Russell,

from the Crenshaw Kings, referred me?

Yeah, Russell said you'd be by.

Anyway, I'm going to prison

and I need protection.

Well, welcome to the club, Jimbo.

Great! Oh, good!

But you get protection from us,

we got rules.

Principles.

Rule number one:

When you're on the inside, you don't

hang out with the n*ggers or the spics.

Now, do you have a problem

with that, brother?

Me?

Of course not.

Spider, what do you take me for?

I'm a big-time racist.

I hate the knee.

What?

What is this sh*t?

I mean, heck, I'm such a racist that my

chess set, I only have white pieces.

It's confusing, but I don't...

I won't give the blacks a chance to win.

Oh, sh*t.

He's a f***ing cop.

- He's a cop!

- I smell bacon.

- I'm not a cop.

- F***ing hate narcs.

We'll find out what he is.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. Oh, my God.

I'm just wondering if maybe I'm not

the best fit for the Alliance of Whites.

You got anything to confess

before I rip your face off?

Fine! Go ahead!

Kill me!

But please tell the world I'm not a thief!

I did not do the things they said I did!

Promise me, Spider! Promise me!

Burn him.

The f*** was that?!

That's right!

A black man just came in with a flamethrower,

just like you always knew would happen!

Yeah!

The devil in here, b*tch!

And he's a black man.

Stay yo ass back! Stay back!

James! Let's go!

Yeah.

- You all right?

- Yeah. Come on.

Come on. Come on, let's go.

You know what? I got something

I wanna say to y'all since I'm guessing...

...this is the first time that you've ever

been forced to listen to a black man.

You know, maybe you guys

should just calm the f*** down.

Black people ain't trying to hurt you!

I mean, technically, I am right now.

But that's only because of what you

were trying to do to the white guy.

Think about that!

Google "I Have a Dream," a**holes!

It's a teachable moment here, people.

Should burn everybody in here.

Run, James!

- Oh, sh*t!

- Bring me their f***ing heads!

Run, James! Run!

What the f***

are you knocking over the bike for?! Run!

Oh, God. You just couldn't

say "n*gger", huh?

What?! You can't see the irony

in being mad at me about that?

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