Get Him to the Greek

BLACKNESS:

SFX:
CLAPPING

EXT. UCLA LAWN - DAY

AARON GREENBERG (early 20s) is walking across the stagegetting his diploma. He could not be more excited. If youcould bottle enthusiasm, generosity of spirit and a touch ofnaivety, you would get this young gentleman. He gets hisdiploma, hugs the president of the university hard, and wavesto the crowd who cheer him on. He throws kisses towards

someone in particular.

ANGLE ON HIS PRETTY, ARTSY GIRLFRIEND, DAPHNE BINKS (early *

20s), also in a cap and gown, and her parents, MR. AND MRS. *

BINKS. She smiles, waves and throws kisses back. *

INT. ALDOUS’S GIANT MODERN APARTMENT - NIGHT *

We hear the VOICE of Aldous Snow (30s), English rock star,

drugged out of his mind, in his empty apartment. Floor to *

ceiling windows look out on beautiful views of the Thames and *

the London cityscape. We PAN PAST a leather couch, a pile of *

trash, an Andy Warhol on the floor, various drugparaphernalia.

ALDOUS (O.S.)

You enjoying this?

PROSTITUTE (O.S.)

You know I am, love.

REVEAL Aldous on the floor kissing a PROSTITUTE-LIKE WOMAN.

ALDOUS:

How about this?

Suddenly Aldous is peeing on the Prostitute.

PROSTITUTE:

I like that alright... what thebloody sh*t?

ALDOUS:

How about this?

Aldous THROWS UP on the prostitute and COLLAPSES.

PROSTITUTE:

You piece of sh*t!

2.

The Prostitute KICKS Aldous. Aldous laughs as she leaves.

ALDOUS:

(with an odd flourish)

You are welcome, milady!

He lights a cigarette, grabs the remote and FLIPS ON THE TV.

INT. SATURN DEALERSHIP - DAY

We ZOOM IN on Aaron getting the keys to a brand new SATURNVUE. He’s with Daphne. They hug and kiss.

EXT. HORSE AND CARRIAGE PUB - NIGHT

A crazily drunk Aldous gets TOSSED OUT of the pub’s PLATEGLASS WINDOW. A BIG IRISH GUY comes out.

IRISH GUY:

You best not be coming back here.

I don’t care how famous you are.

ALDOUS:

We should have killed all you Irishwhen we had the chance.

The Irish Guy GRABS Aldous. Aldous licks the Irish guy’sface. The Irish Guy drops him, disgusted.

ALDOUS (CONT’D)

Make love to me my Irish lass! *

EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES ARTISTS’ LOFT BUILDING - DAY

Aaron and Daphne are in a rather grungy area of downtown LA.

They walk through a protective cage into a newly renovatedbuilding that is advertising “Real Artists’ Lofts.”

INT. ARTIST LOFT APARTMENT - DAY

Aaron and Daphne walk with a REALTOR around the loft space.

There’s a studio with a potter’s wheel. Daphne’s clearly inheaven.

AARON:

We will rent it.

DAPHNE:

Are you sure you can afford it?

3.

AARON:

Definitely!

Daphne jumps up and down, hugs Aaron and heads off to explorethe loft. Aaron looks very, very nervous.

INT. ALDOUS SNOWS’S LIVING ROOM - DAY *

Aldous and a COURTNEY LOVE-ESQUE girlfriend.

ROCKER GIRLFRIEND

YOU F***ED ME OVER YOU PIECE OF

SH*T!!!

ALDOUS:

I’M NOT THE ONE WHO F***ED YOU

OVER!!! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO F***ED

ME OVER!!!

ROCKER GIRLFRIEND

F*** YOU YOU F*** F*** F***!!!

ALDOUS:

THEN GET OUT OF HERE ALREADY YOU

F***ING BLOODY HELL B*TCH!

Aldous grabs her. She punches him in the face. He punchesher in the chest, and then they get into a crazy fist fightlike a couple burly man. In a crazy almost karate like move,

she kicks his feet out from under him. He CRASHES through aglass coffee table. She leaves the room.

EXT. ALDOUS’S ULTRA LUXURY APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY *

His door flies open. It’s the middle of the day in thecenter of London. It’s very, very busy. She’s walkingacross the lawn.

ALDOUS:

DON’T GO!!! I LOVE YOU!!! DON’T

GO!!! PLEASE!!!!

A YOUNG TWEEN GIRL and her FRIEND see Aldous.

TWEEN GIRL:

It’s Aldous Snow!

They start taking photos with their camera phones. Aldous

flips them off.

ALDOUS:

F*** off you c*nts!

4.

He heads back into his house.

TWEEN GIRL:

Aldous Snow just called us c*nts!

SECOND TWEEN GIRL

That was brilliant!

EXT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S LOFT APARTMENT

Daphne’s parents, MR. AND MRS. BINKS are outside theprotective cage. They hit the buzzer. A large group ofhomeless people walk by.

MR. BINKS

Where the hell are we, Kabul?

They hit the buzzer again.

DAPHNE (O.S.)

Mom, dad, come on up!

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S LOFT APARTMENT - NIGHT

Aaron serves dinner to Daphne and DAPHNE’S PARENTS.

AARON:

More Italian tofu and chianti *

pasta?

MR. BINKS/MRS. BINKSNo. Thank you./Couldn’t possibly.

Aaron sits down.

MRS. BINKS *

So, Aaron, when does your job at *

Pinnacle start? *

AARON *

Monday, actually. *

MRS. BINKS

Well, that is exciting.

AARON:

Thanks, Mrs. Binks. It is

thrilling.

5.

MR. BINKS

I don’t get it. You got a college *

degree. Why would you work as *

someone’s secretary? *

AARON *

Intern, not a secretary. *

MR. BINKS *

Intern? Like Monica Lewinsky? You *

gonna be taking out any dry *

cleaning? I’m just kidding. *

AARON *

If you want to get into the music *

biz you start as an intern. *

MR. BINKS

Whatever. So how’s your arts and *

crafts going?

DAPHNE:

You don’t have to be so dismissive

of it, dad.

AARON:

You should see the sculptures she’sdoing. She’s got some greatprojects up her sleeve.

We see that Daphne’s touched by Aaron standing up for her.

MR. BINKS

I’m just worried that a creativeand an intern living together --

who’s the support beam? Judging bythis neighborhood you’re barelyholding on as is.

AARON:

First of all, this place is notcheap. Downtown’s coming back.

MR. BINKS

From what? Armageddon?

AARON:

I don’t make much but I make enoughfor the two of us.

6.

MR. BINKS

What happens when you lose your jobbecause the music industry isdownsizing because no one buysrecords anymore?

AARON:

I guess I’ll just have to resort tomy previous work -- male escort.

Daphne snickers. Her parents do not.

DAPHNE:

Mom, you want to take a tour of thebuilding?

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S LOFT APARTMENT

Aaron’s awkwardly sitting in silence with Daphne’s dad in theliving room.

AARON:

How’s the corporate law these days?

MR. BINKS

It’s a job. Aaron, I just wantedto say something to you. I can see

how much you care for my daughter.

AARON:

I do, sir. Very much. Honestly,

and I know, I’m young, but I hopeto one day marry her.

MR. BINKS

Don’t call me sir.

AARON:

I called you sir?

MR. BINKS

Yeah.

AARON:

I didn’t even notice.

MR. BINKS

Well, you did.

AARON:

I’m... sorry?

7.

MR. BINKS

I just wanted to tell you that Ithink you two are making a terriblemistake moving in together.

What?

AARON:

Why?

MR. BINKS

You two are not ready at all.

AARON:

Yeah we are.

MR. BINKS

No you aren’t.

AARON:

I believe we are.

MR. BINKS

I believe you aren’t.

AARON:

I love her.

MR. BINKS

No you don’t.

Yes I do.

AARON:

MR. BINKS

No you don’t.

I do.

AARON:

I do love her too.

MR. BINKS

You just don’t.

AARON:

Yes, I do. We’re perfect for eachother. I mean, we’ve never even

had a fight. That’s how awesome we

are together. I know my feelingsand they are of love.

*

*

*

*

MR. BINKS

You don’t and they aren’t. You’re

not right for her. She’s a flightygirl. She needs someone more

grounded.

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