Get Shorty Page #21

CHILI:

How'd you get in here?

BONES:

I told them I was you. I acted stupid and they believed me.

CHILI:

So what brings you to L.A., Bones?

BONES:

Don't insult me. Get up and turn around.

Chili gets to his feet. Bones motions with the gun and he

turns to face the painting over the sofa. Bones comes over

and lifts his wallet from his back pocket.

BONES:

You're the dumbest f***ing guy I ever met in my life. Let's

see what's in your pockets.

His face still to the wall, Chili shoves his hands in and

pulls the side pockets out. Bones turns away.

BONES:

What you should've done was told me about Leo Devoe as soon

as you found out.

Chili looks over his shoulder to see Bones pulling his

suitcoat from the back of the chair . . .

CHILI:

Why would I do that?

BONES:

'Cause the guy's a customer now, stupid. His ass belongs to

me.

Bones lays the pistol on the conuter, holds the suitcoat

with one hand and feels through it with the other expression

changes, his eyes open wider.

BONES:

What have we here?

His hand comes out of the suitcoat with the LOCKER KEY.

Chili sits down on the sofa again; he can't believe how easy

this is gonna be . . .

CHILI:

Give me my cigarettes. They're in the inside pocket.

Bones throws him the coat.

BONES:

Help yourself.

Bones then holds up the key to look at it.

BONES:

C-one-eight.

Frowning now. Putting on a show.

BONES:

I wonder what this's for, a locker? Yeah, but where is it?

Chili sits back to smoke his cigarette, lets it happen.

CHILI:

I checked the bag at the airport, when I came.

BONES:

Yeah? Which terminal?

CHILI:

(beat)

Sovereign.

BONES:

You found Leo, didn't you? Took the poor a**hole's money and

put it in a locker, ready to go.

(looks at him)

Why haven't you left?

CHILI:

I like it here.

Chili shrugs. Bones eyes the key a moment, then . . .

BONES:

Look, there's no reason you and I shouldn't get along.

Forget all the bullshit from before -- I don't even remember

how it started. You took a swing at me over some f***in'

thing, whatever it was -- forget it. You owe me some money,

right? Forget that too. But, you don't say a f***in' word

about this to anybody. It's strictly between you and me,

right?

CHILI:

Whatever you want, Ray.

EXT. SUNSET MARQUIS HOTEL -- NIGHT

As Ray Bones gets into a cab . . .

WOMAN (V.O.)

Drug Enforcement Agency.

INT. CHILI'S HOTEL ROOM -- LATER

Chili is on the telephone.

CHILI:

I wanna speak to the agent in charge.

WOMAN:

(PHONE)

What is this in regard to?

CHILI:

A locker out at the airport, full of money.

Chili waits. Then . . .

MAN'S VOICE

(PHONE)

Who's speaking please?

CHILI:

I can't tell you. It's an anonymous call.

MAN:

(PHONE)

Are you the same anonymous a**hole called the other day?

CHILI:

No, this is a different one. Have you looked in that locker,

C-one-eight?

There's a pause on the line.

MAN:

You're helping us out. I'd like to know who this is.

CHILI:

I bet you would. You want to chat or you want me to tell you

who to look for? The guy's on his way out there right now.

MAN:

You know there's a reward for information that leads to a

conviction. That's why I have to know who this is.

CHILI:

I'll get my reward in heaven. The guy you want has a bullet

scar in his head and is wearing gray shoes. You can't miss

him.

EXT. SUNSET MARQUIS -- NIGHT

As Chili follows the bellboy out of the hotel. He tips the

guy, then gets in the car with Karen.

KAREN:

What took you so long?

CHILI:

Couldn't find my toothbrush.

He kisses her, then starts the car.

EXT. SOVEREIGN TERMINAL -- LAX -- NIGHT

As Bones, seen only from the back now, gets out of the cab,

enters the terminal.

INT. SOVEREIGN TERMINAL -- SAME TIME

As Ray Bones, still seen only from the back casually strolls

through the terminal, playing with the LOCKER KEY in his

hand.

Ray walks right up to C-18 and inserts the key, turns it,

and opens the locker to reveal a BLACK ATHLETIC BAG sitting

inside . . . Chuckling, he then reaches inside . . .

. . . then stiffens as we hear A CLICK as a RED LASER DOT

hits him in the temple . . .

VOICE:

Look at me, Boots.

Bones turns his head and we see that it's not the Ray Bones

we know, but . . . AN ACTOR, a tough-looking guy with a

scary face . . .

WE PULL BACK FURTHER TO REVEAL

MARTIN WEIR standing there with the biggest f***ing gun with

laser scope we've ever seen. A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN with the

biggest -- well, you get the idea -- is standing next to him

. . . She screams . . .

WOMAN:

Watch it, Steve!

Bullets and blood fly as the tough guy pulls a gun from the

locker and begins firing wildly at Martin and the Woman and

Hare Khrishna's and anybody else who happens to be in the

vicinity . . .

Martin, the tough guy only two feet away, calmly aims his

gun and pulls the trigger, but nothing happens. He shakes

the gun . . .

MARTIN:

Dammit . . . not again . . .

DIRECTOR:

Cut!

PULL BACK FARTHER TO REVEAL

A SOUNDSTAGE:

Set up like the airport terminal. Martin throws a fit about

the malfunctioning prop as The Bear walks up to him.

BEAR:

Martin, maybe you should dive or roll out of the way or

something . . .

HARRY:

Alright, let's wrap! We'll pick it up tomorrow!

As Karen crosses the soundstage, we track along the backs of

a row of director's chairs with the names . . . MARTIN WEIR

. . . HARRY ZIMM . . . KAREN FLORES AND . . . CHILI PALMER.

Chili stands chatting with BUDDY LAFKIN.

BUDDY:

But Martin already told me he loves it.

CHILI:

Look, I don't know, Buddy, I don't think Martin's right for

this new one.

BUDDY:

Why the hell not?

CHILI:

He's too short.

EXT. SOUNDSTAGE -- DUSK

As Karen, Chili, Harry, Martin, and Buddy all exit the

soundstage. Karen and Chili get into Chili's minivan.

As they pull out, we see the name 'C. Palmer' painted in the

space.

We then CRANE UP AND BACK as Harry, Martin, and Buddy each

get into their own minivans . . . and we then . . .

FADE OUT.

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