Get the Girl Page #2

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There she is.

That's the girl?

I'll consider it.

What?

We'll talk.

Really?

Tomorrow... 10:
00 o'clock.

Can I get a diet coke, please.

Sure.

Thanks.

Hey, Martini, dry, two olives.

Sure.

Hey, how are you doin?

Fine, thanks.

That's great, that's good.

That's real good.

Listen, uh... what are

you drinking over there?

No, thanks.

Listen, doll, I'm just

trying to buy you...

A drink over here.

Yeah, um, I'm good to go.

But, thank you.

Woo!

You sure are, you are

certainly good to go.

That's why I'm here.

Excuse me?

Listen, I'm gonna ask

you a serious question.

Why are you coming to

a bar all by yourself?

You know you just wanted

some young stud to come in...

Hey, she said she's

not interested, okay?

Oh!

Um, that's mine.

Is that so?

Clarence

famous American philosopher...

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said...

"A hero is no braver

than an ordinary man...

But he is braver five

minutes longer."

Oh, my god!

I am so sorry, sir.

I am so sorry, ma'am!

I'm a piece of sh*t.

You're a good dude,

you are a good dude.

I'm sorry, I'm out, I'm out!

Thank you.

Do you mind if I buy

you another drink?

Uh... uh... no, that's

not necessary.

Right, sorry, I'm sure

you're probably married.

Excuse me for just a...

Well done.

Did you... did you see

what just happened?

Looks like you

got her attention.

But I didn't do anything.

That guy just grabbed

my drink...

And threw it in his face

like a psycho.

She doesn't know that.

Why would he do that?

Because I paid him...

$20 to hit on her.

And then if you were so kind

as to intervene...

He was to make you her savior.

What are you getting at?

Always be the smartest

guy in the room, Clarence.

Now, that was just a

sample, a test to see...

If you had the balls...

To pull that off and when

you did...

I took over from there.

So, that's your plan, to have an

a**hole hit on her in a bar?

Because that happens

to her every night.

No, I think in your

case we're gonna need...

Something a little bit more...

How'd you say, grand?

Are you out of

your f***ing mind?

You don't like it?

No, of course, I don't

f***ing like it.

Why not?

It's illegal, it's

dangerous, it's completely...

It's genius.

How, how, how is it genius?

It's exactly what she wants,

man.

You're gonna sweep her

off her feet.

You get to be the hero, you have

a little alone time to bond.

I'll be in control

the whole time.

It's insane, it's insane!

It's...

It's perfect.

Okay, all right, what if

something happens?

What if we get caught,

what if someone gets hurts?

It's too dangerous.

It's not f***ing dangerous...

It's controlled chaos,

totally different.

No, no, no, I'm not doing it,

I'm not doing it!

Fine.

Fine!

Fine, go, leave.

Three... two... one...

All right, how do I even

pull this off?

Always be the smartest guy

in the room.

Okay, you keep saying that...

But what exactly does that mean?

It means, don't put

yourself in situations...

That you cannot control.

Know the people, know

the circumstances.

Be the smartest guy.

$25,000... next weekend.

Take it or leave it.

Clarence

the great American actress...

Mae west once said,

"every man I meet...

"Wants to protect me, but

I can't figure out what from."

What?

Sh*t!

Hey, it's Alex...

Did I leave a red folder

somewhere in the back?

No? Sh*t!

I'm gonna have to come

look for it.

All right, yeah, no, it's

cool, I'll see you in a second.

Thanks.

Whoa!

I'm... I'm...

Holy sh*t, you scared

the hell out of me!

I didn't see you.

Yeah, I'm sure you didn't,

pulling out that fast.

Look, I'm...

You should watch where

you're going.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, you said that.

Would you like to get

dinner with me sometime?

Did you really just ask me out?

Whoa, whoa!

Hey, what the hell?

That little slut!

I'll take it from here.

What the hell!

Help me!

Hey!

Help me! Somebody!

I'm being attacked!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Get down, get down!

Hey, don't f***ing judge us!

You've never seen an

interracial couple before?

Stop that!

What, I thought you

f***ing liked me, man! God!

Here.

Hurry!

Get in the Van!

Hurry!

Get the rope!

- What? No! Rape!

- Don't you hurt her!

Give me the bag!

How about you give me a minute!

This b*tch broke my f***ing

hand!

Give me the f***ing bag!

Okay, here's your bag!

Yo, yo, yo, move, motherf***er!

I drive.

What, man?

Bro, how the f***

did you take a kick...

To the balls like that?

Don't you know,

I'm all dick, baby!

Who are you people?

Shut the f*** up

and we won't hurt you.

Dude, this is f***ing

bullshit, man.

- Like, I should totally...

- Where are you taking me?

Have one of those cool,

voice-box thingies.

Like, I would murder

it with that sh*t.

You know that, right, bro?

I'm trying to make up for

these ridiculous masks you got.

Ridiculous masks?

More like iconic masks!

All the coolest criminals

have iconic masks.

Patrick Swayze, point break.

Ben Affleck, the town.

F***ing even Bob Deniro

in the heat.

For real though,

Nicki Minaj is an icon...

As far as I'm concerned.

She is an icon, blow

that sh*t up, bro.

You seen that music video?

You seen them hips?

You seen them, y'all seen them?

Put your f***ing mask back on...

And don't take it off

until I say.

Turn right.

Ow, f***!

Hold still!

Where are you taking me?

Your ATM, honey.

I'm going through a divorce...

All my money is frozen,

I can't pay you right now!

Hold still!

We don't want your money.

What the f*** do you

want from me?

Hold her!

We're gonna find out just

how valuable you are...

To your friend here.

We got five, can I get

five, got ten...

Where are the headphones?

20, 25, 30!

Hey, just keep still, all right!

We're all good back here.

Speak for yourself.

Here we go.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Seriously?

Okay, now we're good.

Is he f***ing retarded?

Yo, that was my momma, dude!

Motherf***er... turn off

y'all phones!

Give them to me, all of them!

And make sure you grab

theirs, too.

Oh, I'll get hers, there you go.

- Hah-hah... where is it? Oh, oh!

- Oh, my god, no, stop!

Get your hands off of her!

Calm your tits!

Your f***ing girlfriend...

No! Stop!

Pervert.

Oh, no, no!

Phone.

Where's the turn?

It's just up ahead.

Hey, man.

Could I get the code, please?

I'd really appreciate it.

Oh, yeah, it's written

on my hand.

Why the f*** is it

written on your hand?

It's a new code, all right,

I couldn't f***ing remember it.

That's actually really smart,

if you think about it.

I mean, he probably like doesn't

even want us to know...

The real code, so he's just like

making up a fake code.

That's awesome, you know!

All right, motherf***er,

let's do this.

Yo, yo, yo! Cool it, ninja.

What?

You got watch.

What are you

talking about, what?

You drive, you watch.

That's the rules.

Ah, ha!

Dude, go f*** yourself, man.

You're not the boss of me.

He's not the boss of me.

Come on, move, move!

Ah!

All right, where's mine?

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