Ghost Stories Page #5

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Okay, you weren't

at school with me.

- Who are you?

- Who are you?

Mr. Brain Box,

clever clogs

overachiever,

living on his own

there's no one

there at home.

Dare you turn some of that

prize-nominated

never-quite-winning acuity

onto yourself?

11, 92, 20?

Ah.

Come on. Ahem.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Wait, wait, please.

I don't like it.

Do you want to go in?

I can't.

[LAUGHTER]

That's on my shirt!

What are you doing, man?

- Yuck.

- Hey.

Oi, Jewface!

Oi, Jewface!

Come here.

- I've got to go home.

- Come here.

I've got to go home

for my tea.

Or what? Your fat pig

of a mom will eat it?

[LAUGHING]

I won't tell you again,

mate.

Get here.

Come on.

I'm not going

in there again, Freer.

[MOCKING] I'm not going

in there again, Freer.

Oh, don't sh*t yourself.

It is not a gas chamber.

[LAUGHS]

Stand over there.

Go on.

[SHATTERS]

Yes!

- Alright, pick one up.

- I don't wanna.

I don't give a sh*t

what you want.

Pick it up!

Go on.

Put it

in front of your face.

- What?

- In front of your face!

Now don't you

f***ing move.

What are you playing?

[LAUGHING]

What is going on here?

Hey, Kojak!

Hey, come here, mate.

Oh, my God.

Come on, mate, quick.

Hey, Kojak.

- Wanna be in our gang?

- Can I?

Yeah, of course, you can,

mate, if you're cool enough.

Do you think

you're cool enough?

[LAUGHING]

Where do you think

you're going, Jewface?

- I need to get home.

- No, bollocks.

You're staying here.

You're gonna watch Kojak

do the 10th number.

Yeah, stay and watch.

Leave him alone, Freer.

You know he can't count.

Yeah, I can.

I can count to 100.

[LAUGHS]

See?

Right, come here.

Come here.

You see that

on the side of the Echo?

- What number is it?

- Six.

Yeah.

Well done. Well done.

That's the first number

of 10 different numbers

I've chalked up

on the walls in there.

All you have to do

to be in our gang

is go in, right the

way in, keep walking

until you find

all 10 of the numbers

and then remember which

is the 10th one, yeah?

- Callahan, there aren't...

- Mate!

I just need to remember

the 10th one?

Yeah, you only need

to remember the 10th one.

Now you've got to look

carefully 'cause some of them

are quite far apart. Yeah?

Shut up!

Now when you come out and tell

me what that 10th number is

if you tell me the correct

number, you can be in our gang.

Yeah? I'll start now.

Now hang on.

You're gonna need this.

It gets quite dark

in there.

Alright. Go get that

10th number then.

- Go on.

- Yay!

[LAUGHING]

Go on.

Six.

Good start.

[LAUGHING]

- What were you gonna say to him?

- Nothing.

You were gonna tell him there's

no 10th number, weren't you?

No, I wasn't.

I bet you weren't

gonna tell him

you sh*t yourself

when you tried it.

So keep it zipped

or else..

Alright?

I don't like it.

I wanna come out now.

Oh, don't give up now.

Please!

Oh, keep goin'.

I wanna come out.

It's really narrow.

Don't you f***ing dare,

Kojak!

We're not letting you

out of there

until you find that

10th number, alright?

[GASPING]

[SCREAMING]

[GASPING]

Callahan!

Callahan!

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[PANTING]

You left him to die

in there, didn't you?

What could I have done?

Told someone

when you got home?

Brought it up

in assembly the next day?

How about running

into the Echo

to see

if Desmond needed help?

It was a fluke,

just one of those things.

- A horrible accident.

- How convenient for you.

We didn't know

he was asthmatic.

The only fluke here

is the fluke in his DNA

that left him vulnerable

to people like you.

People like me?

I've spent my life

trying to help people

tryin' to put back in

tryin' to help people

see the truth

in amongst the sea of

sentimental lies and crap.

[LAUGHS]

That's...

Don't laugh at me!

I wasn't the one

who made him go in there.

I wasn't the one who called

him Kojak to his face

and I wasn't the one who

wouldn't let him come out

when he wanted to.

I did nothing.

That's right.

You did nothing.

You passenger.

And since then how have you

spent your days, Mr. Goodman?

Reducing life's biggest questions

to atoms and molecules?

It is just

atoms and molecules.

What else is there,

for God's sake?

[BABY CRYING]

Hello, here I come.

Here I come.

Barty, shh, it's okay.

Look, look, look.

Look, it's alright.

Daddy's got meow-meow.

It's alright.

[CRYING]

Here we go, a big one.

Open wide. Open wide.

Yeah.

Yes. Good boy.

Good boy.

Good boy.

[BABBLES]

Good boy, Barty.

Oh, there's a good boy.

Mr. Goodman,

for all your clever talk

you're really more scared

than anyone, aren't you?

And what you've actually been doing

with your life isn't helping others

it's running

from your greatest fear

which is that there's more

than the here and now

and that every action

you've ever taken

or didn't take

has had an effect.

It's left a little trace.

A ghost of itself.

That's true, isn't it?

Shh.

Shh.

He's asleep.

- Shh.

- Shh.

Come on.

Shh.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

Please.

[LAUGHING]

Callahan.

Callahan, I'm so sorry!

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[SOBS]

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Not, not again.

[LAUGHING]

Please.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

Please, please, please,

please, please, please.

Callahan,

please, please, please.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!

Please.

[SOBS]

Callahan. Callahan.

[LAUGHING]

[SCREAMING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

...and just went mad.

"That's typical of you,"

she said.

"Lord Muck, always

thinking of himself."

[SOFTLY] Yes, I know I missed

last Friday night, mom.

I'm sorry. Um, well,

you could tell dad

that I will be there

this Friday, okay?

Please, mom, I'm at work.

I've gotta go.

Love you too. Bye.

- Ah.

- Mr. Priddle.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Ah, yes.

"Professor Philip Goodman

"admitted April 13,

3:
45 a.m.

attempted suicide."

[CLEARS THROAT] "Failed

self-asphyxiation in his car."

Silly bugger.

Shotgun in the mouth,

that's the way to do it!

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, better see this.

Mm-hmm.

Ha!

Right.

Neurological examination

reveals

fixed and dilated pupils.

So what's our verdict,

Dr. Rif-kind?

Rifkind, uh..

It, uh, coma.

Uh, probable lock-in.

He is here for keeps.

Yeah, just one

of those things.

Lights are on,

there's nobody home.

Well, as my old professor

Charlie Cameron used to say

"Let's just hope

his dreams are as sweet.

Next room, laddie,

next room."

Ha!

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hello again, sunbeam.

Don't mind me.

Love has a way

of, um, conquering.

Hi, Jeff.

Yes, it sounds silly

but we like...

we like doing

everything together,

whatever it is.

Even if it is just getting a

Chinky on a Saturday night.

Ooh, fried rice. Nice.

Alright.

See you tomorrow.

Be good.

[HUMMING]

Here we go, sunbeam.

A little change

of scenery.

[WHISTLING]

[THUD]

I was working in

the lab late one night

When my eyes beheld

an eerie sight

For my monster from his

slab began to rise

And suddenly

to my surprise

He did the mash

He did

the monster mash

The monster mash

It was

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