Ginger and Cinnamon Page #2

to lie behind your backs.

You're like Mother,

you can't handle the truth!

I'm in charge of you now,

this is too big of a responsibility.

I can handle the truth.

It's that you want to do it

with a complete stranger!

Listen to me!

It will be horrible

and you'll remember it forever.

No. I'm going to have

a triple orgasm.

I read all about it.

You have to be relaxed.

You have to practice first.

So when you fall in love

you don't give a bad impression!

What kind of logic is that?

That's my philosophy.

How old were you

the first time you did it?

You do it when you're ready.

Okay, I was 19.

Were you in love?

Of course.

How was it?

- It just was!

- See?

You were in love and it sucked.

- It was my first time!

- You should have done it before.

- Before what?

- Before the first time.

Do you only do weird things?

You eat dessert before your meal?

Who decides what's normal?

Weren't you on a diet?

Chocolate makes you lose weight.

I knew it!

It's exactly like Andrea's cake!

Some secret!

They make it here.

It's really good, though.

Not as good as his.

What are you doing?

My head has to be in the North

or I can't sleep.

Get up,

I need to move the bed.

- Is this your summer homework?

- Yes.

What if he does tantric sex?

I'll have to do it for 5 hours!

You have a serious problem.

I know, my hormones

are out of control.

Let's go to the beach!

No, the sun is too hot.

Let's take a nap.

I'm almost 15,

I'll sleep when I'm old.

There's your last chance.

- She must be 30!

- Exactly.

Wouldn't you put out

at her age?

If I was a woman

I'd put out non-stop.

Italian?

I'm Marco, this is Pippo.

Stefania, nice to meet you.

This is my niece Meggy.

Where is everyone on this island?

- What are we?

- I mean everyone...

They party at night and sleep all day.

And you losers go to bed early.

Don't you want a tan?

The sun is bad for you

at this time of day.

I get polymorphous light eruption.

Are you going

to the Scorpion tonight?

Yuck!

Only toddlers go there!

Since you insist on talking to us,

let's take a test.

"What are you like in bed?"

"A friend invites you to a partouze."

- What's that?

- An orgy.

"What do you do?"

A. You are shocked and decline.

B. You go check it out.

C. You plan the next one

at your house.

A. I am shocked and decline.

- Right?

- Well, it depends.

C. The next one would be

at my house.

- How would you know?

- That's why I choose C!

- I choose C too. Pippo?

- C.

We get five points.

Stefania... zero!

"How do you feel about someone

watching you have sex?"

"A. Major turn-on".

I pick A.

Read B and C!

You just want the most points!

Just chill!

Enough talking, I want some action.

Later I'll quiz you on oral sex.

Where are you going?

Are you sure you're related?

Unfortunately.

Is her best friend her mother?

How do I know?

Why?

Girls like that are teases.

Mothers are an important factor.

They don't put out to rebel,

they do it when they want to.

Friendship has ruined it for us.

- Mother is my best friend.

- All you do is fight!

Because of the fight on the phone?

No, I have to go ballistic on her.

Otherwise she thinks

she isn't a good mother.

- We talk about everything.

- You can talk to me too.

I don't want to be a normal old aunt.

I want to be your friend.

Do you?

Menopause is lingering

and I'm still a virgin!

What?

Andrea, it's me.

Was being free

a problem with us?

I don't think it was.

You went to Lucca in 1997

and I let you sleep there.

And something else...

if we had had children,

what would we have been like?

Being parents is a pain!

Anyway, this freedom thing

was a misconception.

When you claimed I was holding back

your freedom, I was actually...

Well it was for your own good!

Call me if you get this message.

I'm in los, Cyclades.

Greece!

Some crazy teenager island!

Write this number.

Panorama Hotel.

You can call collect!

Are you not answering because

you're screwing Silvia Magliocchetti?

Or are you on vacation with her?

In either case, you and Silvia

can both f*** off!

You idiot!

I could have popped a blood vessel!

You're coming with me.

- Why?

- Who is this?

- How would I know?

- And you're kissing him?

How else can I get to know him?

Will you get moving!

If I only have to make out, I'm set.

When I was little I made up

new forms of kissing.

The penguin, butterfly, chipmunk.

I was Epicurean and didn't know it!

We hadn't even studied philosophy yet.

I wasn't even into that guy.

Can I talk about Epicurus?

Epicurus was all:

"The liberation of your passions

is the path to happiness.

Through philosophy...

man frees himself

from all grievous sentiments."

- Have you guys seen Meggy?

- She went swimming.

- By herself?

- Yeah. She'll be fine.

Have a seat.

- Want a beer?

- At breakfast?

I'd probably puke.

See what I mean?

I can't stand seeing

everyone so relaxed!

Have they done

their summer homework?

Selfish.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING

AS COINCIDENCE:

What's your name?

Andrea.

Huh?

Aeneas?

Uh, yeah.

Fab! I got an A on The Aeneid!

My name's Meggy.

- What are you doing?

- Drawing.

Well, I'm learning how to draw.

Are you here by yourself?

Lucky you!

On the island of love...

Are you with your parents?

- I'm with...

- Your boyfriend?

Yeah... I mean...

No, he left.

It's not "boyfriend".

It's either "remorse" or "regret".

Remorse, if you boinked.

Regret, if you didn't.

Which one is he?

Remorse.

I'm like way mature for my age.

I'll be in the square tonight,

will you?

Hey!

This scale is broken, right?

I found him!

The guy who's going to deflower me.

He's gorgeous, funny

and a major sex monster.

Like the gay guy in Savage Garden.

His name's Aeneas!

Like in The Aeneid!

Which one should I get?

The colored ones are childish,

I don't trust "Super-Thin".

"Increased Duration"?

He'll be self-conscious.

"Ribbed"?

Not the first time!

- Which one?

- Get them all.

Oh my God, really?

Not all questions

have specific answers.

Ask a specific question

and you get a specific answer.

What do I do

when my orgasm starts?

Nothing!

If it happens,

thank God and enjoy it!

Does this embarrass you?

- You're avoiding the question!

- I am not!

Does the word "orgasm"

freak you out?

It's an actual scientific word!

This is the island of love,

no one would freak over it.

This club is called 69.

And they have a drink called Orgasm.

- Orgasm!

- I get the picture.

- Relax.

- No one is even looking!

If a dude asks you out,

you can't say yes right away.

You have to be all: "I don't know..."

Make him sweat.

- Did you say no to Aeneas?

- He's different.

He was too shy to ask me out.

So I had to be all strategical.

I was all:

"I'll be in the square tonight..."

I set it up without him

feeling embarrassed.

When are you meeting him?

Don't people set exact times

and places anymore?

Oh my God, I miss him already.

- Doesn't he have to sweat?

- Like, right.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes