Gingerclown Page #2

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- Sir?

Biff! Not funny!

Stop this stupid game!

- Stop it right now!

- Jen, this isn't a good idea.

Look, the boat is empty.

Look, I can see a way out!

This really isn't the Sea of Love.

Do you hear that?

- What?

- That noise.

It's coming from over there!

Something is really messed

up about this place.

- What?

- We've got to get away from here!

- I can't hear you! I can't hear anything!

- We got to get out of here!

Jenny!

Welcome to my fairy tale.

Let's get this party started!

Feel free to call me

something like this:

Clown... Clowney... Mr. Clown.

But never, never call me Dorothy!

I hate that f***in' name!

This... this...

Sam, I'm scared... please.

And I thought school was bad.

That thing was not human!

A teeny tiny mouse

sneaked into my house.

He wants to find some cheese

or some juicy freshy peas,

but finally what he found

buries him into the ground.

My rhymes are probably crap.

But you walked into my trap.

Did you see that thing?

It looked like a clown.

Clown or not, that's what we saw.

I've had enough of the

lights turning on and off.

- Look! We'll go inside and call for help.

- Do you think the phone still works?

I'm calling my dad, and then

I'm gonna call the police.

And then I'm gonna

grab Biff Russell's head

and beat it against the side of

his stupid car until I feel better.

What?

Sam. Can I ask you something?

What's in your bag? You've had

it ever since we got in here.

And you're holding on to it

like your life depends on it.

This... it's just a backpack.

I see.

Just a backpack, huh?

These...

These are important things to me.

Like this comic book. I've read it

like a hundred times already...

because in comic books,

anything can happen.

The good guy always wins

and... anything is possible.

And it's so... it's so colorful.

I...

I just carry the bag because I'm afraid

that if I put it down somewhere,

it'll get lost and I'll lose

all the things that I love.

Of course, it's just a comic

book and... and some crap, but...

somehow, that's me.

My whole life's in this.

You're saying your

whole life is in this bag?

Maybe.

I'm gonna go and take a look

over there. There might be an exit.

Well, hello.

Did you say something?

Not a single word.

A little bit to the right.

Right. Lower.

It's a rare moment to find such

a beautiful couple around here.

This has got to be a bad dream.

Compared to what awaits

you here, this is really nothing.

What...

What are you?

I'm a teakettle, a**hole!

What'd you think? Marilyn Monroe?

What is this place? And are you the

one that keeps playing with the lights?

Are you a f***ing retard or what?

As I said, I'm a f***ing teakettle,

not a stupid lamplighter from

"The Little Prince"!

What is this place, you ask? Well, honey,

this place is your worst nightmare,

the hell of those who

were expelled from hell,

the rollercoaster of death,

the a**hole of Cerberus

- or at least something very similar.

- Sam, let's get the hell out of here!

Would you just shut your dirty, diseased

traps? You're driving me f***ing nuts!

Hey, Biff! Aren't you

going after your girl?

They might be riding the

merry-go-around together

or, you know, something else.

Shut the f*** up, Jerry!

This is not funny.

The little whore called me a moron!

The little whore called me a moron...

and she kicked a dent in my car!

My beautiful f***ing car!

Now what?

Well, if we don't go out at midnight, maybe

Biff and the others will come in after us.

What? Biff, the knight

in shining armor?

Look, I'm really sorry you

have to deal with this.

It's my fault.

You're here because of me.

Biff and...

I hate Biff. He's a selfish,

arrogant, bullying,

dumb, envious, cocky egomaniac.

- Are you hearing this, too?

- Yeah, there's music.

Maybe there is someone

here who can help!

Maybe it's whoever is

playing with the lights.

Or another talking creature.

Like a talking clock,

or a reindeer...

or maybe it's the clown.

Maybe.

So this is where you want to wait for my

selfish, dumb, bullying, arrogant, envious,

- cocky... did I miss something?

- Egomaniac.

Yeah. So this is where you want to wait

for my selfish, egomaniac ex-boyfriend

and his stupid friends, or are we

going to get the hell out of here?

A d*ckhead. That's what I left out.

A major d*ckhead.

Captain of the d*ckheads.

Wait a minute.

What did you say? Your...

your ex-boyfriend?

Yeah.

I'm not dating a selfish,

egomaniac guy.

I... I...

Oh, I don't know if you've noticed,

but it stinks like a skunk in here.

Biff's been here before.

Oh, the stench is awful.

Let's move on. I could throw up!

F*** me! This piece

of sh*t is stuck again!

Dennis! Dennis!

Are you sitting on your f***ing ears?

What took you so long?

I was putting the clothes out to dry.

F***ing funny.

You don't even have hands.

It could be that I'm lying, then.

What do you want, wormface?

This shitty gramophone

is busted again.

No, don't give me that surprised look.

It was expected.

I don't know why we

have to dick around

with these old pieces of sh*t.

Why can't we use something...

modern stuff?

I'm sick of these gothic losers.

I mean, why don't we modernize?

Why do we have to do

the same old crap for 500 years?

Sure, sure, I understand...

tradition and all that boring sh*t.

But this is not the f***ing

Buckingham Palace!

And I am not the royal family!

Or is that how I look like to you?

Seriously now, Dennis.

Do I look like a f***ing prince?

Are you finished?

- I'm gonna go look at the gramophone.

- Just getting started!

I am absolutely en-ra-ged!

Sometimes I would just like to say

the boss is a cheap bastard.

He has no balls to change anything.

Suck my balls, Drew.

You won't drag me into this crap.

If you want to modernize so much, you could

really just change music once in a while.

It's just that it would be

nice to hear something else.

Johnny Cash or Bowie.

Bowie my ass!

That guy is giving me the willies.

What does that man look like?

Does he have just one

mirror in the house?

- Sinatra, Sammy, Dino...

- Jenny...

I think we have three choices.

- One...

- ...Bing.

...we go through there, but I

don't want to go through there.

Two, we go back to

the talking teakettle.

But I don't want to go back

to the talking teakettle.

And three,

- the clown.

- Bored of sex.

- I don't want to see the clown again.

- How could you

be bored of it?

You're just a f***ing...

- I think we have another option.

- ...sphere.

Let's get the f*** out of here!

Pretty good joke, wasn't it?

You little sh*t!

Don't touch anything.

What the hell happened here?

Some people set fire to this place...

after they lost their jobs.

They didn't want to have fun.

They just wanted to be

able put food on the table.

How do you know that?

My dad.

He, reads a lot now

that he stays home.

- I'm sorry about that.

- About what?

That he can't get a job.

Oh, he'd get one, but...

it's easier to stay home and drink.

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