Gingerclown Page #4

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Just let me off! Let me off!

Hello, Sam.

I hope you got some rest.

Let me go!

I can't do that, unfortunately.

- There's nothing funny in it.

- This is funny? Killing people?

Torturing them? This whole goddamn

place is the brainchild of your sick mind!

You call this a joke?

How can it not be funny?

After all... I'm laughing!

I will tell you a story, my friend.

I like good stories. May I?

So, the fish, the penguin...

Well, sorry, it's just hard

to tell it without laughing.

So, the fish, the penguin

and the chainsaw

go on a camping trip.

They go on a small

hike on the third day.

Nothing too serious...

just to the next wood over...

but they still get lost.

Can you follow?

Well, now.

As they mope around

the woods, night falls.

They can barely see

a thing in the dark.

They stumble about.

They're scared shitless.

You know how it is.

So, the fish speaks up and says,

"We've got to make a

plan to live through this.

If we don't get out of here soon,

we must sacrifice one of us

to have something to eat."

You sick animal, untie me!

Wait. It's not even remotely over.

The penguin thinks about

what the fish said

and asks the chainsaw, "Look, buddy.

How long can you go without food?"

In response, the chainsaw

cuts off the penguin's head

without a word and turns to the fish,

"I hope you don't mind."

The fish replies, "Of course not.

"I didn't get it anyway... what is a

penguin doing in a f***ing forest?"

It kills me.

Just so that you understand,

you have no business here whatsoever.

Neither you nor

your little girlfriend.

Hereabouts,

we easily sacrifice anybody

to help the others survive...

those long days...

extremely easily.

With your permission,

I have some minor

business to deal with...

your little girlfriend.

She is being very naughty.

Leave her alone!

You hear me? I'm right here!

She's not the one you need!

Oh, she is.

I think I need her

more than anything.

Sam? Sam?

Maybe you are waiting

for someone, my dear?

If I was mean,

I would think that you

were not happy to see me.

What's wrong?

Maybe you don't find me

as good as good old Sam?

What have you done to him?

Nothing... yet.

He still has both of his eyes.

Hereabouts, that's pretty rare.

- You're not a real clown, are you?

- You may be right,

but don't tell anyone!

But in truth, if you ask me what I am,

I can tell you easily,

I am the worst nightmare

you've ever had.

I'm the eternal scream

in the innocent

children's frozen minds!

I am the Grim Reaper

of every hope and every soul!

I am the great collector.

The bone crusher.

The spawn of darkness!

I'm your last friend

in this stinking place.

Feel free to call me

something like this:

Clown...

Clowney...

Mr. Clown.

But never, never call me Dorothy!

I hate that f***ing name.

"Dorothy." You wouldn't dare.

Take this sh*t off of me!

F*** you!

Release me!

The fish, the penguin and the

chainsaw go camping together.

Release me, or I swear

I will kill you!

They go on a small hike on the

third day... nothing too serious,

- just over to the next wood.

- F*** you!

They still get lost. Can you follow?

As they mope around

the woods, night falls.

They can barely see a thing in

the dark. They stumble about.

They're scared shitless.

You know how it is.

So the fish speaks up and says, "We've

got to make a plan to live through this.

If we don't get out of here soon,

we must sacrifice one of us to have

something to eat." So the penguin replies,

"F*** your plan!

F*** yourself, you little..."

That's not how the joke goes.

You screw up...

even my joke!

F***ing fish!

Oh, you really lit me up.

- You're bleeding.

- It's just a scratch.

- What happened to your glasses?

- You won't believe me if I told you.

I had to shoot out the brain of

a giant spider with a shotgun.

Okay. Okay, you won.

I...

thank you.

It's... it's nothing.

It's what I'm here for.

Your drawings are rubbish by the way.

They look nothing like me.

All right, sorry.

You're such a smart alec.

- Excuse me, Mr. Comic Book.

- It's good that you got a pretty face.

It's good that you... I don't...

Okay, so... so you're

all brave now, yeah?

You're gonna not be afraid

of spiders or anything?

- Excuse me, I can handle myself, okay?

- God, what was that?

- Oh, you're trying to freak me out now.

- Shut up.

- Oh, I'm so scared. Biff! Biff!

- That's not funny.

- Don't speak ill of the dead.

- Okay, okay, sorry.

What was that?

I think it's a velociraptor.

I think it's dozens of velociraptors!

- Yes!

- Cut!

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