Girlfriends of Christmas Past Page #2

Because you're my only

girlfriend, Ty.

And I can't just blast Anderson on a

website for the whole world to see.

Why not? He publicly humiliated

you in front of your family.

You even said your mom sent you

home with a plate of leftovers

labelled

"Livvy Hearts Anderson."

I say, out his sorry butt.

Because even if I did,

he would know it was me.

And then I would be

Livvy the loony ex.

Not if you're not the first one.

No, no. This was

an isolated incident

because he thought

we were getting too serious.

He got scared and dated some thing

that he cares nothing for. Okay?

[laughs] Okay.

Whatever keeps those sugar plums

dancing in your head at night, dear.

[giggles] Hi.

Hi.

[typing]

[phone vibrates]

Livvy, put down the wine.

Put down the barbell, Ty.

[Livvy] Listen, you were right.

I went to that site,

and two of his exes had just posted

there and they were just the locals.

I'm not going to say I told

you so, but I told you so.

So, I'm actually meeting PrincessPie82

and Fitigator for coffee tomorrow.

Princess what and Fit-n-gay who?

The girls Anderson dumped

right before me.

I messaged them,

and they agreed

to meet me for coffee!

But you don't know the first

thing about these girls.

Well, I know that Anderson broke their

heart just as much as he did mine.

So, then, expose his cheating in your

story, that's what the site is for, Livvy.

[Livvy] No, no.

A testimonial is not enough.

I mean, What if this next girl

doesn't see it? I didn't.

I need to know why he does this,

why he keeps doing this.

Because he's a jerk, Livvy.

[Ty] And sometimes

there is no reason.

I gave him a year of my life.

Okay, I need to have

some kind of resolution,

and I think these girls

might be able to help.

[sighs] Just be careful.

You don't know if these girls

are total whack jobs.

[Livvy] They dated Anderson.

They're clearly as stable

and sane as I am. [giggles]

[Ty] Go to bed, Livvy.

Ty?

Ty?

Hi. You must be Murphy McCall.

And you must be Olivia.

You're late.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- I normally bill out at 350 an hour.

Two minutes is 12 bucks,

Ms. Beal.

Can I buy you a coffee?

I don't like to owe anyone

anything, so it will be my treat.

What about the other girl?

Is she coming, or...?

Well, she just texted and said

she's running late, but...

Okay, if I don't get caffeine

in me in the next few minutes,

everyone within reaching distance

is going to pay. Shall we?

Welcome to the Toasty Roast. Happy

holidays. What can I do for you?

I'll have a double shot

with a splash of non-fat.

Thanks.

Hi! Are you Livvy?

Zoe! So nice to meet you.

Sorry, I have to go

to work after this

and curse this corset,

I just couldn't get

it on tight enough.

But wow, it's so nice

to finally meet you!

Wait, finally? How long have

you two been talking?

Oh, I just meant, since we've

all shared in the same tragedy,

that's like unspoken sisterhood

in my book.

A book I'm sure

comes fully illustrated.

And you must be

our other sister!

I'm pretty sure

I'm an only child,

but Murphy, nice to meet you.

So do Santa's helpers

include 10 maids-a-milkin'

now at the mall?

[Zoe] Oh, the mall? No, no.

I am a working actress,

at Party Princess.

The place they rent out

for birthdays?

Mm-hmm. I play

a storybook maiden,

and then after the cake,

I'm enchanted into a princess.

Sounds like a great job.

[Murphy] Okay, let's get

the facts straight.

So, you are saying that you

randomly saw Anderson

get into his car last night

with some... girl,

and that's the proof

that he cheated on all of us?

Yes.

No. I don't really know,

but something doesn't add up.

When I think about him,

I still get stressed,

and when I get stressed,

I'm an emotional eater.

[Murphy] Look, your theory

is absurd.

I can smell a liar a mile away.

I know, I smell that way.

I'm a litigator.

Now, was I upset when Anderson

dumped me

ten months after his company

settled a court case

that they outsourced me for?

Yes!

But the only reason he did that

was because he was falling

so deeply for me

and he couldn't handle

those feelings.

Not because he met her.

No offense.

That's what I thought,

but humor me one moment.

When did you and Anderson

break up?

I don't remember.

I paid a therapist good money

to black out that entire year.

Okay, well, the rant you posted

was on December 10th,

three years ago.

Was that the date

that you broke up?

Give or take a few days, yes.

[Livvy] Okay, Zoe.

You posted on December 10th

a year ago.

Do you remember the actual date

that you broke up?

I remember it was

a particularly chilly day...

The date, Zoe! The date!

Sorry! December 2nd.

That was a month after he hired

me for the holiday party,

which means he was seeing me

three weeks

before he dumped you.

That...

unbelievable...

Two-timing, love-drunk swindler!

Don't know how he does it.

I swear.

It was that one-month

anniversary at Belvederes,

I was hook, line, and...

He took you there too?

So what?

So he cheated on me with

a party princess pizza server.

It just is what it is,

and it's done.

Where are you going?

I'm going home, and I'm going

to call my therapist

and ravel up all this crazy that

the two of you just unraveled.

So, thank you very much, ladies.

Merry Christmas!

[Livvy] Wait, Murphy!

Don't you owe it

to this new girl

to show her what a scumbag

Anderson really is?

I don't owe that girl a thing.

Don't you owe it to yourself?

I mean, if you could go back

and see through his tricks,

your favorite flowers delivered

on the first Friday

of every month.

Or the way he would leave

little notes on the refrigerator

feigning excitement

for the wonderful weekend

he has planned for us.

Or how he would wait until the

lights go down in the theater

before offering you

a red licorice

with half of it dangling out of

his mouth about to kiss you!

If you had a chance to see his

wolf eyes under all that fleece,

I mean, wouldn't you take it?

So what do you want us to do?

You want us to go meet this girl

and unravel all of our crazy

onto her?

No. No crazy exes here.

I devised an even better plan

to get even with Mr. Whitmire

this holiday season.

It went off in my head last

night like a bright red bulb.

Oh! Can we call it

"Operation:
Rudolph's Revenge"?

Yay! Okay,

what are we going to do?

[Livvy] We pray on his

weaknesses around her.

We show his true natures' self

without them even knowing

we were there.

So how do you propose

that we do that?

Who knows Anderson

better than we do?

Who has a key to his place?

Knows every meticulous routine

to a tee

and knows how afraid he gets

when things don't go according

to plan.

I venture to say

that the three of us

knows every ploy

he's willing to pull.

And if we can just stay

one hoof in front of him,

I can assure you

there will be no Whitmire

for the win this holiday season.

Who's with me?

Code name Cupid Claus,

reporting for duty!

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