Girls Trip Page #5

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Let's rough it. It'll be like old times.

I get the feeling there's definitely been

a few chalk outlines on this floor.

Oh, yeah, somebody

was definitely murdered in this room.

This smells like the body is still in here.

Ugh.

The f***? No mini-bar?

I feel like that one

star was hella generous.

B*tch, you the reason we here.

Classic Dina. You just

had to cause a scene.

Classic Sasha. Can't never let sh*t go.

- It just happened. Why would I let it go?

- What do you mean

- it just happened? It's in the past.

- Come on. - We told you...

- Please, that was in the past.

- Hey... - In the past?!

- Yes, it's in the past.

- This is your fault. - Hey, hey,

stop arguing!

- Stop it...

- Don't argue!

- Don't argue. - Let it go!

- Hey. Hey. Hey.

- I think I got scabies.

- What?

- I'm itchy.

- Y'all expecting somebody?

Uh-uh.

F***ing foggy peephole.

Who is it?!

- Oh, oh!

- Rochelle here?

Oh!

Uh, no, sir, I am sorry,

you have the wrong room.

- Please leave.

- This is where

I meet Rochelle every night.

Hey, Rochelle ain't here, homeboy.

You need to get on.

It don't have to be Rochelle.

I'll take one of you.

You mean to tell me we staying at a motel

where five-dollar hos do they business?

Five dollars? Sh*t, I

get two dollars change.

Ooh!

Lisa, you game?

Might as well turn a profit

on dick number one tonight.

Bust that thing open.

Not if she wearing that.

- What?

- I told you that outfit was

ugly as hell. He don't even want to f***.

Listen, sir, just because

she is not fashionable

doesn't mean that you have to be rude.

Aah!

- Aah! - Oh! Oh!

- Get out of here!

- Aah!

- Get out of here!

Get out!

- Shoot.

- What's wrong with him?

Close this.

- You don't want some of this?

- Aah!

Aah! What is that?

You don't want some of this?

- Aah!

- Oh, oh!

Sh*t.

You are disgusting!

Go find Rochelle! No, you go find Rochelle.

Y'all are gonna give me a...

heart attack.

Okay. Okay.

I don't find this funny at all.

Yes, girl, you're giving me life!

Oh, hold up, Sash.

Your tag is hanging

out. Let me pull it out.

Oh, no, no, no, don't pull it.

Um, just tuck it in for me.

All right. Okay.

I made a deal with the designer.

I'm gonna, you know,

Instagram it this weekend.

Some tastemaker sh*t.

Lis, hurry up!

Okay, P. Diddy is not gonna

be waiting for me all night.

He's a busy man.

All right, I'm almost ready.

What the f*** is that?

Wait a minute. Hold on. You...

You got to be kidding me!

I really like this outfit.

I mean, this is hand-stitched embroidery

from an indigenous tribe

in Guatemala that's almost extinct.

So they not f***ing in Guatemala?

- Mm.

- You know what?

Intelligent men of academia

- are gonna really appreciate this outfit.

- Huh.

All right, listen, you look beautiful.

- Thank you.

- Now take it off and put this on.

What...?

This dress is a mosquito net.

Then maybe you'll catch something in it.

- Yeah, a man.

- Lisa, you look

- like somebody's Puerto Rican grandmother.

- See?

Now, men'll f*** almost anything,

but not you... in that outfit.

Don't even. I already know.

Tighten that up.

Don't be taking all day back there, either,

making tamales and sh*t.

Ah, yeah...

New Orleans!

Make some noise for New... Edition!

Ah, yeah

I don't love her

I tried to tell myself

But you can see it in my eyes

So don't deny

I can't fool no one else

Oh, my God!

The truth is in the tears I cry

Sing yourself, y'all.

'Cause if it isn't love,

why do I feel this way?

Why does she stay on my mind?

- Ooh.

- That's right, y'all.

If it isn't love

Why does it hurt so bad?

Oh, oh.

- Make me feel so sad inside?

- Oh, my God.

- Ah, yeah

- If it isn't love

Ah, ah-ah

- Ah, ah

- I have four.

- Ah, yeah, ah, y-yeah...

- Come on. - Yeah!

Party in the VIP!

Hey!

That's for Ryan for getting

us up in the hot VIP spot!

Oh, come on, y'all.

Wait, wait. Before we drink,

we should get hydrated.

Where is the water? Excuse me, miss?

- Lisa? Lisa?!

- Yes.

Okay, this weekend, we gonna

need a little less Mom Lisa,

and a little more Freaknik Lisa.

- Mm.

- Mm.

Like Howard Homecoming Lisa.

Ooh!

- Mm-hmm.

- Ooh, Bayou Classic Lisa.

- Aah! - Ooh!

- That Lisa.

Like NBA All-Star Weekend Lisa.

- Ooh.

- That shut it down. Come on now.

You're a fierce sexual goddess.

I'm a bad b*tch goddess.

Oh, yes!

Now go out there and slay.

- That's it.

- Let's do this.

She ready.

So, hey, I don't mean to be intrusive,

but, um, how many sexual

partners have you had?

Are you gay? Straight?

'Cause with the pocket squares and...

I'm not feeling confident about this.

So you're not lactose intolerant?

You give me the smallest bit

of ice cream, and I'm

taking off like a rocket.

It's just a...

Damn, she rusty.

I have both my kids, right?

And I kept their placenta.

And you know what I do every morning

when I make my morning shake?

I take a little bit of that

placenta, plop it right inside.

- Ugh!

- Grind it up, throw it back.

I'm telling you, I'm gonna

live till I'm a hundred.

- I can't watch it.

- She gonna have to Uber.

- I tried, but I can't.

- She ain't riding with us.

- Okay.

- Ooh, ooh, ooh

Everybody.

It happened the moment

When you were revealed...

Oh, Lisa, Lisa.

- Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.

- Sasha Franklin.

Of Sasha's Secrets.

Miss Vanzant, it is such an honor to even

- be in the same...

- So, so, come,

missy, and let me holler

at you for a minute.

Okay.

Do you know who I am?

Yeah. I just said...

- I just said...

- 'Cause either you don't know,

or some strange affliction has altered

the molecular structure of your brain.

If you think that you can trash

my name and reputation just to make...

a name for yourself, missy,

that is not gonna turn out well for you.

N-No. Look, I'm just the messenger.

I thought you looked great in that thong.

Liar!

Try me again,

and I promise you

that you and I are gonna have

a Middle Passage experience,

a fight for survival, and I will win.

Have I made myself clear?

Clear?!

Clear.

Oh. Okay, thank you, beloved.

Blessings to you, and you

enjoy the rest of your evening.

Shoot. Yes, tell me it recorded.

Please tell me I've got that on video.

Come on, please.

Damn it!

Damn it, Sasha.

That was your car and your mortgage.

- Hey, uh, Sasha?

- Yeah.

Listen, do you, uh, mind

not working right now?

Well, what do you call what you're doing?

No. I'm just saying

that I don't want anyone

to feel uncomfortable thinking

that you're spying on them.

- That's all.

- Ryan, I don't spy on people.

Okay. I'm sorry.

I'm just saying that I'm

their guest, you're my guest.

Are you telling me to behave?

Is that what you telling me right now?

No. I'm just saying that

it would be more

appropriate and effective...

- Um, Sasha? Sasha?

- What is appropriate and effective?

These words you're using on me feel real...

I think you should come with

me to the bathroom, please.

Real quick. I got snaps and zippers and...

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