Give Me a Sailor Page #5

Did you see this?

I was thinking.

Maybe if I spoke to that nice Captain

Tallant, he might fire off a big gun.

No, on second thought, I guess

we better keep guns out of it.

People might get wrong ideas.

Well, for a nicely-rounded-out, hand-tooled,

sandblasted job of gumming things up,

dropping that key

will stand on its own merits.

Here. Well, there

must be some way out.

You could leave me waiting at the church;

then everybody'd feel sorry for me.

Yeah, then Nancy'd think I was a cad.

I'd rather marry you.

Well, if you had any chivalry,

you'd commit suicide.

Say that's an idea. And

I could knock you off first.

It would be a service

to humanity.

They'd name a destroyer

after me.

You got something.

I think that's- What?

Hey, my berries!

Oh, you!

Here we are facing a fate worse than

death, and you squawking about berries.

What do you

want berries for?

Listen, Sea Biscuit, those berries

were for our nuptial feast.

Hey, Letty. She's out there.

Thanks.

Now what?

I don't know.

Telegram for Miss Letty Larkin.

That's me.

Sign here, please. Probably

another message of condolence.

A jolly little wedding we're gonna have.

Oh! Oh, it's it!

I mean, I won!

It's my yum yums.

Fine time

for baby talk.

Requested you be at room 310,

Fidelity Building, San Francisco.

Today, 3:
00 P.M., for final decision

in contest. Prizes amounting to thousands.

Thousands.

There must be a mistake.

The first prize

was a fireless cooker.

Let's get going.

But I can't go now.

You read the wire.

Let's nail this money.

I can't, now. Walter invited Captain

Tallant to dinner, and Nancy can't cook.

If I run out now-

Oh, don't be silly!

You want to marry me?

I'd rather die!

Come on then! Whats

this got to do with-

just win, make headlines, get this

money, and you won't have to marry me.

But what about my reputation? The way you'll

be sitting, you won't need a reputation.

Nancy, look, it's getting- All

right, I know dinner's an hour late.

I know your Captain Tallant is hungry,

but how do you cook these filthy things?

And, why?

Listen, darling-

Why does a grown man make such a fuss

about wanting to eat silly looking fish?

Look, darling.

Captain Tallant walked 85 miles,

slept out two nights and broke

a $65 rod to catch these.

Roughly speaking, they cost him,

um, about eight bucks apiece.

Naturally, he wants to eat them.

Well, I-

Mr. Larkin. Personally, there's only one

way to cook a nice, fresh mountain trout.

Sure. You whip 'em out, gut

'em, roll 'em in cornmeal-

Oh, sacrilege,

definitely!

First, you take your

trout, you clean them,

then you rub them thoroughly

with good olive oil.

Then your cornmeal. You see?

Afterwards.

Wait, dear.

I'm hungry-

Why, Nancy,

how did you cook these?

With a blow torch?

Animal? Vegetable?

Or mineral?

Sorry.

Well.

Maybe they're

just a little bit too-

Yes.

How are the dogs?

They're okay?

How fast are we going? Sixty.

Well, will you drive into a tree?

Yeah. What?

What for? I just want

to see if I'm dreaming.

You're awake all right. Keep your furs

on, and we'll be home in a minute.

You gotta do your stuff with Walter. We've

never had a chance like this before.

That's what scares me. I promised

Walter I'd cook Captain Tallant's fish.

Instead, I'm coming home with...

with- with the bacon.

You don't have to apologize

to Walter for anything.

But how am I gonna act?

just keep him guessing.

Don't tell him a thing. Put him on ice.

You look like a duchess.

Do I? Yes, so don't be a dope.

Act like one.

If you can't cook, which you obviously

can't, why didn't you get a woman in?

Why should I? Letty knew it was tonight.

It's her job to be here.

Entertaining your future husband's officer

is your responsibility, not Letty's.

And I must say,

you've let me down!

Humph!

Definitely.

That's right,

Angel.

Oh, my tray!

Why don't you look

where you're going?

Oh, dear!

Well, now

what happened? Letty!

Hello, everybody!

Hello! Come on, bloodhound.

Cheerio, everybody. Cheerio! Quiet, Nancy.

Nancy!

Uh, greetings.

Have you finished dinner?

Ah, good evening, sir.

How are you, Captain?

Nancy, come here, Nancy. I, uh, call

her Nancy because she's a female.

- It's our Letty. - Where

did you get those clothes?

It isn't possible! What

have you two been up to?

Quiet! Letty, may I

present Captain Tallant.

Captain Tallant, Miss Letty Larkin.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Honored, definitely. Permit me.

I'm very good with dogs.

Well, come, come, babies. Don't you

know an old sea dog when you meet one?

Dog. Sea dog. Ha-ha-ha.

Not half bad!

No, indeed.

Marvelous!

Letty, what's happened?

You're 50- I beg your pardon?

- Don't you two know each other? - Walter!

Yes, of course. Jims brother.

I've known Walter ever since

he was a dirty little boy.

You haven't changed a bit. Still

have that wave in your hair.

Here, child. Pardon me.

I'll take care of the dogs.

Oh, Captain.

Here's a stowaway for you.

Put this somewhere? And be careful

with it, it's worth $2,000.

Two thou- it's real!

That's right.

Of course, it's real. Lock this up, Dad.

It's got checks in it.

And put these contracts with it.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Oh, will somebody please

take care of my new car?

New car.

New car!

Oh, it's a big car.

Must be a super.

Letty, what did you have

to do to deserve all this?

Miss Larkin. I'm sorry. I'm

Bixbee of the cosmetic company.

Fidelity Publication

wants a 3,000-word exclusive.

Sun-tan Hosieries, Inc.

authorizes me-

Well, wait a minute!

- What is all this?

- Take it easy, wolves!

You'll have to

wait your turn.

Miss Larkin is accepting all contracts in

alphabetical order. just wait outside.

Wait outside.

Everything will be all right.

Jim, what is all this?

Letty and I beat

it for the cookery contest.

Take it easy. Everything all

right, Captain Tallant?

The trouble is they're hungry.

Confidentially, so am I.

Oh, Captain.

I beg your pardon.

You think it'd be possible?

I'll see what I can do, sir.

Oh, Letty.

Yes, Walter.

Why it's no trouble at all.

Swell, Letty.

That's all right.

I'll whip up a batch of-

Come on, Captain.

I'll fix you up.

Dad,you stay here, and

Jim will tell you all about it.

Oh, yes, you were too! Whispering

and plotting. You and Letty.

Trying to make me ridiculous.

I hope you're satisfied!

And I think Letty's perfectly beastly-

She was willing to help me out.

Of course, she's crazy about you.

Always has been.

If you could see an inch beyond

that nose of yours. I resent that!

All right, if you want to

marry a cook, marry Letty!

Go on, marry her!

Marry her!

Oh, fiddle!

But, boy,

I sure was scared though.

Permit me.

I'm very good with eggs.

Sure.

Aren't you going to have some?

Not just now, but thank you.

You know, Captain, ever since I was

old enough to turn on the gas,

I bet I've cooked for over

half a million hungry men.

And you're about the only one that didn't

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