Gleason Page #2

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kind of frustration or anger

at the doctor for saying it.

And I just was like,

there's no-- There's no way.

He's telling me this,

but I don't necessarily

believe what he's saying.

Although this is part

of the challenge,

like, yeah, I wanna beat ALS,

I want to win that part

of the game,

But for me, the biggest

part of the game is

beating all the other sh*t that

you and I have talked about is

karma from our parents

or relationships with family

or relationships with friends

or your own spirituality

and just peace in your heart.

But I just think

there's a bigger

battle there

about being able to say,

"Okay, I have been--

I have this diagnosis,

and it's not gonna--

It's not gonna crush my life,

even if it does crush,

you know, crush my body."

I think you look

really cute today.

I haven't smelled you,

but you look really cute.

STEVE:

I wish I could

zoom in on that.

Damn.

Is it hard not to tell?

I know it's a boy.

STEVE:
And I know it's a girl.

[CHUCKLES]

But I know more.

Yeah... right.

Before this,

we wanted a baby,

and after this,

just because it meant that

I'd have to help

take care of him.

It wasn't a big enough reason

not to have a baby with him

and have all the beautiful

things that having a baby,

you know, bring to a family

and a couple.

Here you go, Steve-O.

It's definitely in there.

What is this all about?

I am making a video blog

of myself.

This is intended to be

a gift for you,

my child

who I have not yet met.

MICHEL:

Do you think it already has

a hard head?

WOMAN:
It could.

That comes from his dad's side.

My intention is to pass on

as much of who I am

as possibly can to you.

And I think if I can do that

in a good way,

it can be even more meaningful

than having

a father who's around

for 30 or 50 or 60 years

of your life.

Now, I hope that happens too,

but this is a nice little

backup insurance plan.

For me, the weird thing is--

The scary thing is, like,

every week or so

there's a new thing

where I'm like,

"Oh, I can't do that."

I'm losing that.

I lost that, just lost that."

[MAN SHOUTING]

We have to have

a pregnant woman to start us.

Is there any pregnant women

in the house?

We got one pregnant woman!

Well, get in, girl,

you're the starter.

On your marks.

MAN:
Here we go.

Get set.

We're set!

Go! Go, go, go.

Not everybody knew

that Steve had ALS.

They were treating him

like was still a healthy

ex-football player.

I hadn't cried, I think,

in a long time.

It's just kind of like,

this is gonna be okay.

But seeing that kind of,

like, awkward gait,

it crushed me.

[PEOPLE SHOUTING]

Yeah, buddy!

You did it!

Stretch! Stretch.

Stretch.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Good job, dude.

No one knows what

I'm feeling right now.

I don't want want him

to go through this.

I don't want to deal with this.

For the first time,

you don't want to realize

that this is the truth.

And in those moments

you realize it's the truth,

and, like, this is f***ing

happening to my husband.

This is happening.

STEVE:

I think the big question is,

"Why is this happening?"

You know, me and Michel

are so good together.

We're so perfect,

being really good people.

So I kept asking

over and over again,

"God, if you have some

control over this universe,

"why would this happen to me?

"If you have control over this,

"then save me, you know.

Help heal me.

Because I don't want Michel

to be here by herself."

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

I'm sure there are people

that get this diagnosis

and just kind of shut down,

whereas it's kind of ignited

a fire in me

where I'm not gonna shut down.

Not only am I not

gonna shut down,

I'm gonna go a little bit

further, you know?

Push the envelope a little bit.

[WHOOPING]

Yes, I understand

That every life must end

Uh, huh

MICHEL:
Hell, yeah!

Hell, yeah!

Halleluiah!

MICHEL:
Yahoo!

Uh, huh

Oh, I'm a lucky man

To count on both hands

The ones I love

Some folks just have one

You know, I was torn.

A lot of people were saying

I shouldn't necessarily

go on this trip.

I should be seeking out ways

that I can get healed

or get some treatment.

In the end,

I think I decided that

the odds of me finding

some type of treatment

in the next six months

were too small.

It's gotten a lot harder

for me to do stuff.

The other thing that's really

frustrating for me

is the talking.

So it's getting harder

for me to talk.

I know I've said this

before on film,

but it's not gonna stop,

I guess.

It's probable

that it won't stop.

Hold me till I die

Meet you on the other side

Quite possibly one of the

coolest things I've ever done.

We've been, what,

around the world,

and in front of millions

of people,

but that plane flight

was amazing.

MICHEL:

Glacier landing

versus punt block.

I don't know, it's close.

MICHEL:

Want to tell the baby anything?

We had a destination in mind

when we came up here,

and I would say we are there.

Be present now, right?

Better late than never.

Better now than never.

Better now than never.

MAN 1:
Yeah. Yeah.

MAN 2:
Talking?

Sorry.

My favorite part is

to do things like this.

Hello. Hello.

Hey, how are you?

Oh, how are you now?

Well, things changed since

you're here to now.

Nothing has changed for me.

It's a couple seconds.

For you, though? Huh?

Things have changed.

Like, it's weird

that I'm potentially having

a conversation,

initiating a conversation,

with someone who I actually

might never talk to

in a real conversation.

Mm-hmm.

The baby will be born

in November.

So I'll talk to it, sure.

But let's say a real

conversation starts

at 4 years old.

Maybe I'm not having

conversations at that point.

It's f***ed up.

So then it's like,

well, if I was that person...

what would I want

to hear people say?

What would I want to hear

my dad say?

You know?

You just want him to be real.

Yeah, so that's why I'm like,

"Look this is just raw and...

unprepared--

I mean, the same sh*t

we want when our dads are alive.

We dislike what

so many parents do

is like, "I'm parent now.

"I'm not a person anymore.

"I'm not real.

Yeah.

"I don't have all the exact

same flaws as you.

...doing the exact same stupid

sh*t that you're doing."

The big thing that's happened

since I've been diagnosed

in January is that one thing

I want to accomplish

is to have all my

relationships in order

is the term I've been using.

In my teenage years,

my dad was very protective.

His only way to teach

how to live life

was to teach it

out of fear.

STEVE:

As much as possible,

try not twist like that.

You got all

your questions there?

Yeah.

That's good.

So I think a good place

to start, Dad, would be--

How about your birth?

Yeah, the very

first memory of me

as a very young child.

What were some of

the things that you remember?

Is that thing on?

Yeah.

It can hear what

you just asked me?

Yeah.

Okay.

He was a reader,

pretty cerebral.

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