Gleason Page #8

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to skip it tonight.

Okay.

And you took-- Okay.

Thanks.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I didn't mean it stupid.

I just didn't think about it.

Are you okay, Mick?

Great.

Yeah.

Sh*t.

Are you okay?

Yep.

I feel like you have no

compassion towards me.

Everything is rushed.

You always have

somewhere else to be.

You finish my sentences.

You rush any care

that you give me.

I don't understand

what I did to deserve it.

Please tell me

how I can improve.

You walked by me

ten times tonight

while Rivers

was on my lap.

I tried to get

your attention.

You didn't

even look at me.

Sorry.

I don't think it's anything

you can improve.

I think

it's how I can improve.

Do you feel angry

when you are with me?

Um... No.

I feel more angry with myself,

for how I feel in general.

What can I do to be

more important to you?

I don't know.

If you want to talk--

You don't have to,

but if you want to,

I will listen.

Thank you, buddy.

[PLAYING GUITAR]

MICHEL:

That's my favorite song.

MAN:

Your favorite song

is "Come Back"?

[CHATTER]

I must say I have done some

amazing stuff in my life,

but this experience was

right at the top of the list.

I just interviewed Pearl Jam

on their latest album.

The music

you guys have created

has plastered the wall

of my adolescent

and adult life.

I want to thank you

for providing

the significant portion

of the soundtrack

for my life.

I have my son Rivers.

I am assembling a video

journal library for him

in case the experts are

right about my timed life.

You did not know your dad.

What are a couple of things

you wish you knew about him?

Yeah, see if I can

get through this. Um...

That's a great question

and coming from you.

Um, I couldn't

appreciate it more.

Um...

Of course I think

just deep down I just would--

Would have wanted to know

just, you know,

if he loved me

and how much, you know.

I get the idea that he did,

you know.

But, uh, the other nice thing

would have been

just having, um,

someone of my own blood

give me some insight of--

And, you know,

what it would be like to...

grow up and, you know,

be a man, a good man.

I wish he was around now,

and I like to think

he'd be proud of me.

Thanks, man.

I-- I knew this was

going to come in

handy for something,

but I didn't know what.

Steve Gleason sitting in

for Barbara Walters this week.

Rivers, you are

an awesome boy or man,

depending on what times

in your life

you happen to watch this.

But the world

can grind on you.

Do not become obsessive

to the point

where you are unhappy.

Let your best stand

for what it is.

If it's not sufficient,

that's okay.

You did your best. Move on.

We're a grassroot,

pretty much, you know,

pro bono kind of things,

volunteers,

that has done in two years

some incredible things.

To live with ALS

is hard enough as it is,

but I think to live in the way

that Steve is living with it,

you know, to be so

out front and public,

uh, there's a lot of sacrifice

comes with that,

and I think it's a sacrifice,

you know, on your family

and to have your priorities

in the right place.

You know, we have to reflect

on where we need to be.

I think it's going

to be up to Steve,

knowing that all these

people want to partner up

with, you know, where he wants

to go, in which direction.

I realize that I have pushed us

to the point we are right now,

but I think I need

to get more into balance.

I am frustrated

because I have only written

two or three journals

in the past few months.

I am tired. Michel is tired.

I think we, Michel and I,

need to pull back quite a lot.

It was like music to our ears

because it's like

finally Steve is going

to take a step back

and just focus

on what really matters,

and that's his health,

his relationship with his wife,

and his son Rivers.

I have never wanted

to be a saint.

I've never been a saint

before Steve.

I'm never going to be a saint.

I don't want to be,

like, a devil

or a dick face, but I don't

want to be a saint, either.

I just want

to be a real person.

One, two, three, go.

[GRUNTS]

[CHATTER]

This is brutal.

Just when we spoke to that

doctor a couple of weeks ago,

he's like-- Essentially, you

can live as long as you want,

but there's a reason

people choose not to

because life is so sucky

that it seems

like that they choose,

like, "Hey, this is

a better option," you know?

Um, so I think that's

what I'm really scared of

is, like, I have a little bit

of control over when I die,

maybe, but may--

That might be false,

like maybe not.

Maybe there's--

I don't know

how it happens, you know,

when people with ALS get

to the death point, you know.

Give him a big one.

Give a big--

Is this a salami sandwich?

[PLAY MUNCHING]

I think it's

a chicken sandwich.

[PLAY MUNCHING]

[COOING]

I know when we first met when

you were able to communicate

very clearly at that time,

early in the process,

you were very clear

that as things moved forward

you were gonna utilize

any available technology

to stay in the game.

Comfortably, with the best

quality of life

that you could have.

That I know has been your goal,

but I wanted to revisit that

with you.

I have had the opportunity

to contemplate my own death

quite thoroughly

the past few years.

I say it's an opportunity

because I think understanding

one's mortality

can help open a person

to lead a more meaningful life.

I fight to stay alive

for my son,

for my wife, my friends

and family.

I am not giving up.

One of the things that I

always admired about him,

it felt that their relationship

will continue for a long time,

is that they could tell each

other everything and anything.

Honest as could be, truthful,

and that has been

lost in the process.

Oh, my God,

I can't believe

I just hit

the wall

from two nights ago

just now.

Why don't you--?

Why don't you go--?

Just lay down.

We'll be quiet.

I'm working on

a masterpiece.

STEVE:

And you are planning

a bronchial sweep.

Yes. I'm going to look down

with a flexible scope

and suck out all that stuff

out of your lungs

so that hopefully that sticky

sensation that you're feeling

will be gone.

Great.

Well, I am anxious

but feel good with you.

Thank you.

I appreciate it, okay?

We're going to take good

care of you, I promise.

All right. I'm going

to head on down

and make sure everything's

set to go, okay, buddy?

I'll see you

in a little bit, okay?

I promise you we'll take

great care of him.

Sorry you have to deal

with this.

It's the White Flags,

Gleason. Go get 'em.

If for some reason

something happens

and you can't understand

him, come get us, okay?

We're staying

right here, baby.

I'll keep you

guys posted.

And we'll take good,

good care of him.

It's a hard time because

it's all of a sudden

like I don't want to think

about how sad it is.

I don't want to think about

what we're missing out on.

I don't want

to think about myself

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