Go

---

You know what I like about Christmas?

The surprises.

You get this box and you're

sure of what's inside.

You shake it, weigh it.

You're convinced you have it pegged.

No doubt in your mind.

But then you open it

and it's different.

You know. Wow! Bang! Surprise!

I mean, it's kind of like

you and me here, you know?

I'm not saying it's anything it's not.

Come on, this time yesterday,

who would've thunk it?

Paper or plastic?

Paper or plastic?

- Paper or plastic?

- Both.

You didn't double my coupons?

They're at the bottom in red,

where it says "double coupons."

You can't put bleach in

the same bag as food. It's poison.

Don't think you're something

you're not. I had your job.

Look how far it got you.

Nothing brings back warm holiday

memories like the songs you love.

- Don't.

- Why not?

Because she's been on for 14 hours.

- Ronna?

- No.

- I didn't ask yet.

- The answer's no.

Christmas is a time for giving.

Mistletoe?

Pardon me if I'm not in

a holly-jolly mood right now.

I'm getting evicted.

Tomorrow.

They wouldn't evict you at Christmas.

You'd be ho-ho-homeless.

- How much you owe?

- $380.

- That's nothing.

- It's more than I got.

Want my shift?

My best mates are going

to Las Vegas this weekend.

I've never been.

I'm told it's incredible.

If you take my shift,

I can go with them. Everybody wins.

Cash up front?

Deal.

I'll throw in an extra $20

for a blowj*b.

Any available cashier.

I need a cashier up at the front.

Look, I went the last time.

Okay. Dead Celebrities.

Loser goes up.

Omar Sharif.

Steve McQueen.

Michael Landon.

Lee Marvin.

Sh*t.

Malcolm X.

You can't say Malcolm X.

He's famous. He's dead.

That's a rule.

Nothing starts with an "X."

That's not my problem.

You can challenge.

- I challenge.

- Bullshit!

Give me one dead celebrity

that begins with an "X."

F***!

There is one.

I know I thought of one before.

Break was over four minutes ago.

Who's up front?

I am.

X erxes.

X erxes.

Some dead pharaoh guy,

and his name starts with an "X."

That wasn't it.

Never heard of f***ing X erxes.

Pharaoh could've saved your ass.

There's an opera about him.

X erxes.

I took Music Appreciation twice.

What do you mean, he's snowed in?

What's he doing in Chicago anyway?

Look, just call me

when you get to a landline.

He can't get out of the airport.

We're f***ed.

Is the British guy still here?

He went to Vegas for the weekend.

Vegas.

Hi...

...Ronna. Right?

Where can I get something

to go with this juice?

Doughnuts, aisle four.

I was hoping for something

more euphoric.

The British guy hooks us up.

How much?

- Twenty at $20.

- You're overpaying.

We're desperate. We're going to

a party at a warehouse. What is it?

"Mary X-mas Superfest."

- You going?

- We had a pre-party planned.

But it's all or nothing

because there's 20 of us.

My friend's stuck in Chicago.

He was supposed to come through for us.

We're dead.

If you could do anything...

...to help us out...

Please.

I'll see.

Give me your number.

Kick ass! Thank you.

So you wanna buy all this OJ?

Absolutely.

You know Simon's in Vegas?

I don't need Simon. I'm going to Todd.

Todd Gaines?

Who's Todd Gaines?

That's Simon's dealer.

You can't go around Simon like that.

Listen, if Simon were here,

which he's not, he'd charge $15...

...when he gets it for $10.

Times 20 hits, that's $100.

It's a leap. You're moving up

the drug food chain without permission.

You shouldn't do this.

Why can't you chill the f*** out, okay?

It's just once.

When Simon gets back, we can still

overpay if it makes you happy.

But this is my deal.

Just sit back and watch.

- Speak.

- Todd, it's Ronna Martin.

You know me through Simon.

Can I come up?

I thought you bought

quarters off of Simon.

At least, what Simon

pretends are quarters.

I keep him honest.

At that level, you should pinch.

It's the economics.

You leaving?

Be good.

I take it this is not a social call.

I need a favour.

I didn't know we were

such good friends.

If we were, you'd know

I give head before I give favours.

I ain't giving my best friends head...

...so your chance of getting a favour

is pretty slim.

Tell me what you wanna buy.

Twenty hits of Ecstasy.

You come here out of the blue

asking for 20 hits...

...when 20 is the magic number where

"intent to sell" becomes "trafficking"?

- I'd never f*** you like that.

- How would you f*** me?

This is real.

Pharmaceutical grade,

not that crunchy, herbal rave sh*t.

Don't let anybody double dose.

They'll fry in the emergency room.

- Understood.

- Only one hit per headbanger.

Understood.

Twenty at $15 is $300.

Fifteen?

I was thinking more like 10.

I know you charge Simon 10.

Inflation is a b*tch.

There are 20 of us.

I need all of this.

But I only have $200.

That's all I have.

No, no. Hear me out.

Hear me out, okay?

This $200 is like a down payment.

All right?

You give me the stuff...

...I go to them, get the extra $100,

come back and pay you.

That would be doing you a favour.

And you know how I feel about favours.

I could leave something with you.

Collateral.

I already got a f***ing Swatch.

I need something

I know you'll come back for.

- I'm not going.

- It's 45 minutes.

Hour, tops. Just sit there.

He's a drug dealer.

Jesus, Claire.

Don't get 8-1-8 on me here.

How much have I done for you?

No. You're making me an accessory.

Claire, my bracelet you're wearing,

that's an accessory.

You're just some chick

sitting in an apartment.

I'm not.

Okay. No bullshit, okay?

I don't get this money, I get evicted.

My ass is on the street.

Claire, I don't have anyone else

to go to, okay?

I'm coming to you

and I am asking for help.

Please.

Fine. 45 minutes.

That's 8:
00.

We'll be back by 8. I promise.

It's 237.

Jesus! Next time, ask for directions.

You're a pro.

I'm a top-seeded amateur.

And I'm a very happy man.

Come on in.

Damn glad to meet you, Rhonda.

Ronna.

When I heard Philly got snowed in,

I told these guys...

...it was getting loose there.

I'm glad we found you.

Work, work, work.

Friday must be a busy night.

That was just a friend.

What can I get you to drink?

Some of that orange juice

would be great.

Great.

All right.

I understand...

...this party's gonna be huge.

Massive.

Traci Lords is a promoter.

She is.

That's what I heard.

Ron, hon, we are fresh out of OJ.

Cerveza?

Hey, we bought a bunch

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes