Go West Young Man Page #6

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Well, you see, I've never seen the

''infernal'' organs of a phonograph before.

I'll have to darken the room a bit.

Do you mind?

Why, no. Go right ahead.

This is the invention.

Oh, so that's it.

My, it looks quite

revolutionary. Frankly, it is.

What about all those little things around it?

Do you think you'll ever be able to explain it?

I'll try to explain it to you

a little more fully.

I'm afraid I didn't make myself clear

outside. I'm sure it's much clearer now.

I hope it speaks for itself.

Yes, let it speak.

You and I can have a nice

little talk in the meantime.

Mavis Arden, the movie star,

is at Mrs. Struthers!

Mavis Arden, the movie star,

is at Mrs. Struthers! Come on!

Mavis Arden is at Struthers.

Miss Mavis Arden,

the movie star-

Mavis Arden, the movie star,

is at Mrs. Struthers!

Mavis Arden's down at Mrs.

Struthers. Mavis Arden!

You see, I've synchronized

light and motion.

The shutter which controls the light beam revolves

at the same rate of speed as the fan blades.

They synchronize and become one,

which makes it appear

that the fan is standing still.

But my only trouble now

is to stabilize those speeds.

Well, that's it.

Why, why it's stupendous!

And I can be of great

assistance to you.

I can't tell you the number of men

I've helped to realize themselves.

Well, now, say, that's-

I don't know how to thank you.

Well, don't bother

with that now.

I've kept you a pretty long time.

Not long enough, perhaps.

Well, anyway, I think we'd

better start back to the house...

or they might think

I've run off with you.

Would you,

if you had the chance?

Well, I

- Well, we'll go into that later, hmm?

Mmm, hay.

What?

I said ''hay.''

Mmm. Reminds me of my first picture, The

Farmer's Daughter. Do you remember it?

Well, it sounds familiar.

Oh, that's the one where I start out on the

farm and then wind up singing in a nightclub.

Then, disillusioned, I go back

to the farm in the end.

It was a lovely story. I

felt very sincere in it. Mmm.

I love it.

Come on,you giris.

Over you go.

I wonder who that is.

That guy.

That's what you get

for being famous, Miss Arden.

Don't run! Don't rush! Don't

trample me! You'll all get a picture.

Buddy, line 'em up

over there, will ya?

Come on, get in line.

Come on.

Mavis, here's a fine place

to work. Quit shovin'me.!

Come on, kids. Step up.

Don't push me.

Thank you, Miss Arden.

What were you doing in the

haystack? Looking for a needle?

No, a four-leaf clover.

Oh, isn't that pretty?

Ah, you're crazy. I went in to show

her my invention. You had no right to.

No right to? What do you think

I am, a cigar store Indian?

I only wish I'd met

a cigar store Indian first.

So that's the way it is, is it? You can

take it any way you want and like it.

We've never had any Casanovas in our

family, and we're not gonna start now.

What're you trying to tell me? That I fell for

- For what?

Uh, Miss Arden?

That proves it!

Well, if I remember correctly,

you called her a hussy.

Yes, and you said she was

public. Now we're both right.

Well, anyway, Bud's old enough to

know his own mind. Not in an emergency.

You just want to get rid of him, that's

all. You oughta be ashamed of yourself.

I came to you because I thought

you were a gentleman, Mr. Morgan.

Now that I see you are not,

I intend to place this matter...

in the hands of certain people

in Gettysburg,

who will demand

and get immediate action.

I tell you again, and you must

believe me, Professor Rigby,

Miss Arden was out there

hunting four-leaf clovers. Bah!

Bah to you, sir! Nature never made

a sweeter woman than Miss Arden.

A lady. A lady at birth.

A lady now.

She comes from one

of the finest families...

of New Guinea.

Oh, please, Mavis,

you've got to listen to me.

This fellow Rigby

means business. So do I.

Please, please be serious.

Give him five minutes with the scandal

sheets, and you'll hear from A.K.

For doin' what? Oh, for rolling a

hoop, playing jacks with the kiddies-

I did nothing. I have a chance

for a pleasant little tte--tte.

I only borrowed the guy.

I know, but- but Rigby is-

Oh, after you get through

with me, I'm Lucrezia Borgia...

with a cup of poison in each hand,

a death at every glance.

I'm not interested. But you'd

better think of your reputation.

Well, you think of it. That's what you're being

paid for. Good heavens! What else am I doing?

Rigby's in his room

right this minute...

putting on his other pair of pants,

getting ready to go to Gettysburg.

Stop him!

How can I stop him?

Steal his pants.

Oh, be serious!

Mmm. Sitting Bull.

Not bad for a guy

that's been sittin' all his life.

Bah!

I'm terribly sorry. Sorry

about what, my good man?

Yes, yes, to be sure-

What?

I'll tell you what I'm

sorry about, Professor Rigby.

I only wish I were you.

You what?

If I could only

- No, that couldn't be. I'm her manager.

Her manager. Supposedly the

finest manager in the worid.

I don't understand.

Why, the idea.

Why, Crawford Slipmingle is one

of the finest actors in the worid.

Crawford Slipmingle?

He's the man I want her to put

in her next picture.

But do you know

what she said to me?

She said that you are the perfect type to

play that particular part in her picture.

I? Oh, a thousand

pardons, Professor Rigby.

She wanted me to come to you and

ask you if you'd make a screen test.

Splendid actor,

you probably are.

She's usually right,

confound it.

''To be, or not to be-

That is the question.''

Long distance.

Hello, Washington.

Yes, Harrisburg's ready for you now.

Go ahead, please.

Hello. Hello.

Penn Harris Hotel.

- I want to talk to Miss Mavis Arden.

- Are you the gentleman who left the message early this evening?

I'm sorry. Miss Arden isn't

here, but hold the wire.

I'll see if the desk has any information.

Desk clerk, has Miss Arden checked in?

No.

Say, did you see this?

What? Why, she was

kidnapped this afternoon.

Can you imagine the nerve,

kidnapping her in broad daylight?

Kidnapped?

Kidnapped! Kidnapped?

Hello. Hello, Operator.

Get me the police department. Yes.

Hello. Bronson?

Yeah, sure. The chief of police.

Hello. Hello, Bronson?

Repeat. Washington Police

calling all cars.

Number 817. Number 817.

The disappearance of Mavis Arden,

the motion picture star, has been reported.

A town car of foreign make.

California license plates.

3- W- William-5.

Number 3W5.

Can you beat that? And I seen her

only last night in Drifting Lady.

Ahem.

I heard the music and-

Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Arden.

I'm using it to adjust

my invention.

I thought I'd turned it down

low enough so nobody'd hear.

But, my dear, I love it.

Go right ahead with your work.

Well, I

- I won't even know you're here.

I'm afraid it's kind of chilly down here.

You won't catch cold, will you?

Cold? Why, I don't know

the meaning of the word.

At home I lie about

with hardly anything on.

Well, I suppose you can

get used to hardly anything.

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