Goal II: Living the Dream Page #4

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Vicente was really clipped down.

And it's a sad day for Munez.

From dreams to nightmares

for Santi Munez.

His first start,

and now his first early bath.

Off comes Zinedine Zidane,

and it's Gavin Harris who will come on.

Plenty of tackles flying in out there,

and that's Guti.

Canizares, what is he doing?

Not just with his hair either.

This is not a typical

Real Madrid game, is it?

The early sending-off

has really set the tone for the match.

And another effort

blocked away by Casillas.

And the follow-up just wide.

Down to ten men,

it'll be very hard work for Real Madrid.

They have to get their passing game

going. Beckham with a free kick.

Even he's not quite

found his range tonight.

David Beckham with the cross.

Here's Gavin Harris! Goal for

Real Madrid! And they lead one-nil!

The drought is over.

That's a goal poacher's goal.

It was a great cross by Beckham.

Harris is there in the six-yard area

doing what he does best,

and stoops to conquer.

So Real Madrid scraping home in the end,

that late goal from Gavin Harris.

But Santiago Munez's

moment of madness

nearly cost them the game,

a red card he could

have no excuse about.

It was a poor foul,

poor challenge, reckless.

The referee had no option,

he had to go.

Gavin, this was your first goal

in 17 games. How do you feel?

It's a great day. I'm very happy.

I'm going drinking with lots of girls.

Good night.

Hello, hothead.

Hello.

Look, I have the solution

to all your problems.

Really?

Tequila, please.

And I need you on my show tomorrow

whilst you're still

playing for Madrid.

You won't give up, will you?

What do you think?

Another?

Another please.

You started it. I didn't.

Do you need a ride?

No, thanks.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Sant? Darling?

Sweetheart, wake up.

Come on, sleepyhead. Darling?

Look, I've brought you breakfast.

Do you want some juice?

You've been asleep for ages. Here.

- Sant.

- Why didn't you wake me up?

- I tried. You were dead to the world.

- Try harder!

- I told you to wake me up!

- I tried...

You stupid?

I'm gonna miss the team plane!

I'm not stupid. I'm not an alarm clock!

- Hi. Trondheim, first class.

- OK. I'll see what I can do.

- More champagne, sir?

- Yes, please.

Excuse me. I got it, I got it.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry about the peanuts.

It's been a good one, Santi.

The coach sends his apologies

for not coming to greet you

but I know he's very keen to see you.

Please! What is he doing?

Warm up.

Welcome to Norway.

- Not such a great day, son.

- Hey.

I got a call from the boss. There'll be

repercussions. Hefty fine probably.

Nil-nil and he had me sitting

on my freezing ass for 90 minutes.

He's the coach, son. He calls the shots.

He's sending a message.

You should listen.

Don't patronise me.

I'm doing commercials for goddamn tofu

- and you're fixing cars in Newcastle.

- I'm always there for you, son.

Well, I need someone full-time

in Madrid to support me off the pitch.

Well, perhaps this is where I get off.

It's been a great ride, Santi.

It's been a privilege.

Your plate's getting so full so fast,

watch what falls off the edge.

Roz?

I don't know what you're saying,

but I love it.

Careful!

Come on, open up.

Come on, open.

Come on, open, we're peeing ourselves.

Come on, open up.

Girls? I'm going

to have to take you home.

What?

Where do you live?

I'm coming!

- Any room at the inn?

- Gavino?

You're a diamond.

So how long you gonna need to stay?

- Quite a while, I'd imagine.

- As long as you need, man.

The vineyard was a scam.

Barry? Not a very good agent.

Hey, Santi! Where's the milk?!

Would sir like one lump or two

with his tea?

- I don't know why she's so angry.

- You can understand.

I mean, she's up there

all alone in that big house.

You're out

with dark-haired beauties.

But I'm not out

with dark-haired Spanish beauties.

No, I'm just saying, you know, she can

only imagine the worst, can't she?

Yeah. But I've never given her

any reason to imagine the worst.

Yeah, I know.

But you're an

international Latin sex symbol.

She knows how many girls

have got your photo on the wall.

That's part of the job.

She could try to understand.

I don't know. I'll talk to her

during the Christmas break.

Stop mucking about.

You Latinos are always diving.

- I can't. It really hurts.

- What, you serious?

Yeah! It really hurts.

Don't worry about it, man,

I'm sure it's nothing.

You're not to set foot outside

of this facility or your home.

But I have travel plans

for the Christmas break, coach.

You're going nowhere.

Do we have an understanding?

I hope so.

I don't understand. Why are they keeping

you there? You can't do any training.

They pay me. They call the shots.

I cannot change that.

- It's not fair. You promised.

- Why don't you come here?

All the times I've been to Madrid,

you've not come home.

Not set foot in Newcastle.

This is another excuse.

You can't call Glen, you sacked him.

I'm getting sick of it!

Baby, it's out of my hands. I'm sorry.

Look, I don't want

to speak to you right now, OK?

There, there, Roz, pet.

Have a nice glass of champagne.

- Thanks.

- It's a shame Santi couldn't be here.

He's probably partying

with Galacticos in Spain.

Look at the size of this bad boy.

Let's see if you can guess what this is.

It isn't easy.

It's the original Champions League ball.

I miss you too, Gran.

You watching The Great Escape?

What, Steve McQueen?

I know, he's a dish.

OK. Big kiss.

Bye.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

We can't get to the phone, but if you

leave a message, we'll call you back.

Hey, it's me.

I can't believe

we're not together on New Year's Eve.

Remember the party last year?

Jamie told me that was

the night Keanu was conceived.

I don't know how he can remember, but...

Hey, listen, I love you.

I miss you.

Well, happy New Year.

Hey, Sant. Sant.

Come on.

- Who was that?!

- Him!

I've heard there's a tradition

in Spain which involves...

...having a grape for every...

Hang on. Hang on. Don't be greedy.

...having a grape for every single dong

when it goes on the...

You want some as well? OK.

Oh, dear, what's it gonna sound like?

Aunt Annie?

So you have one grape

for every dong when it goes.

So we've got four minutes and...

What?

I didn't say anything.

No, but you were looking

at me like that. With a look.

- No, I wasn't.

- Nothing happened.

OK.

Nothing happened.

Do you think I look like him?

Yes, yes, I see it now.

Really?

Your face and his ass.

You've broken my window.

Enrique, I'm telling your mother.

Idiot!

Need a ride?

OK.

Well, where do you live?

Straight ahead.

Who's she?

My girlfriend.

Leave it.

Nice.

Don't break them.

Do you like football?

Yes.

So tell me about your mother.

What is she saying,

what is she doing?

Well, she's a drag

but I keep away from her.

Leave it, man.

Hey, Mr Bunderguey.

Will you give me a tryout?

Wait, you're calling the coach!

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