Gods and Monsters Page #4

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Let's take

a little walk, huh?

What do you say?

A little walk and talk?

I really feel like

talking tonight.

This old guy's exactly the sort of person

I expected to meet when I moved here.

He's really done

things with his life.

Do you realize you're more interested

in this old goober...

than you ever were in me?

That's different... he's a man. Besides,

you got no business callin' him a homo.

- It never crossed your mind?

- He's an artist.

But he's too old to

be thinkin' about sex.

All the old men I know

think about nothing but sex.

Hey, hey, hey.

What is eating you tonight?

- You picked up that girl right in front

of me. - I didn't mean anything by that.

No, I'm actually glad

it happened.

It made me wonder what the

hell I was doin' with my life.

I still have time to get things right,

get married again.

You don't mean...

You're not

marriage material.

You're not even

boyfriend material.

You're a kid.

A big, fun,

irresponsible kid.

- No, I'm not a kid.

- No? What are you, then?

What'll you be ten years from now?

Still cuttin' lawns?

Still bangin' horny divorcees

in your trailer?

Huh?

So I guess this means

you don't want to f***.

Is that all this conversation means

to you? Whether I put out or not?

Yeah, you're damn straight.

I'm tired of playin' games.

Hey. Hey, Betty.

This is comin' out all wrong.

- Betty!

- Forget it, Boone.

From now on, you're just another

loser on the other side of the bar.

Hey. Hey!

Hey, Betty!

Oh...

- We are friends, you and I.

- Hurt my poor friend.

Isn't the monster dead yet?

- Alone... - Perfect night

for mystery and horror.

...bad.

Friend good.

Friend! Friend!

The air itself is filled

with monsters.

Does the yard man

come today?

Of course.

This afternoon.

Hey!

- Can I do something for ya? - The master

wants to know if you are free for lunch.

I tell him you'll be having

other plans, but he insists I ask.

Well, I do have a lawn this afternoon,

but I'm free until then.

Expect nothing fancy.

The master is dressing.

I'm to offer you a drink.

There is whiskey.

There is iced tea.

Yeah, tea's fine.

No, no, you're a guest now.

Go sit in the living room.

Um, I'm more comfortable

in here, Hanna.

It is Hanna, isn't it?

So, uh, Hanna, how long have you

worked here for Mr. Whale?

- Oh, long enough. Fifteen years.

- Yeah?

You have people, Boone?

Yeah. They're all back

in Joplin, Missouri.

- Oh, your wife?

- Uh, I'm not married.

Why?

I don't know. I guess because, uh,

no girl in her right mind would have me.

A man who is not

married has nothing.

He is a man of trouble.

You need a woman.

Are you proposing what

I think you're proposing?

I'm a little bit

young for you.

Oh, men! Always pulling legs.

Everything is comedy.

Oh, how very amusing.

How marvelously droll.

So, uh, have you

ever been married?

- Of course. I'm married still.

- What does your husband do?

He's dead now.

Twenty years.

- Then you're as single as I am. - No,

I have children, and grandchildren too.

I visit when I can.

Of course, now Mr. Jimmy

cannot be left alone for long,

so I do not get out much.

Poor Mr. Jimmy.

There is much good in him,

but he will suffer the fires of hell.

- It's very sad.

- You sure of that?

That's what the

priests tell me.

His sins of the flesh will

keep him from heaven.

- Hell, everybody's got those.

- No.

His is the worst.

The unspeakable.

The deed no man can

name without shame.

What is the good English?

All I know is "bugger. " He's a bugger.

Men who bugger each other.

A homo.

Yes!

You know.

That is why he

must go to hell.

I do not think it's fair,

but God's laws is not for us to judge.

So, what you're telling me is,

Mr. Whale is a homo.

You did not know?

Uh... Ye... I...

No. I wasn't very sure.

You and he are not...

Oh, no, no, no.

Hanna.

That's what I hope.

I did not think you

were a bugger too.

Hanna?

Oh.

You must go in quickly.

He would not like to think

I've had you in the kitchen.

Oh.

How are you, Mr. Boone?

- I'm all right, I guess.

- I'm so glad you could come for lunch.

Princess Margaret.

"Her Majesty's loyal subjects

in the motion picture industry. "

"Cordially invited to a reception

at the home of Mr. George Cukor. "

The pushy little...

Horning in on the

Queen's little sister,

and then offering to share

her with the whole damn Raj?

This is a world I

finished with long ago.

I've paid them no mind, and I expect

them to return the compliment.

Cheers.

I, uh, I watched your movie the

other night with some friends.

- Did you, now?

- Yeah.

Did anyone laugh?

- No.

- Pity.

People are so earnest

these days.

- Why? Was it supposed to be funny?

- Yes, of course.

A picture about death, I had to make

it interesting for myself, you see.

So, a comedy about death...

The trick is not to spoil it for

anyone who's not in on the joke.

But the monster never

receives any of my jibes.

He's noble.

Noble and misunderstood.

In Korea, Mr. Boone,

did you kill anyone?

I don't like to

talk about that.

It's nothing to

be ashamed of.

In the service of one's country,

something to be proud of.

Any jerk with a gun

can kill someone.

Well, that's true, yes.

Hand-to-hand combat

is the true test.

- Did you ever slay anyone

hand-to-hand? - No.

But I could have, though.

Yes,

I believe you could.

How free is your

schedule this afternoon?

Well, I gotta trim the hedges, and then

I got another lawn out on La Cienega.

Suppose we say "phooey"

to the hedges.

Can you spare an hour

after lunch to sit for me?

Um...

I can't.

I'll pay you our going rate, plus whatever

you would have got for the hedges.

I, I just don't feel like

sittin' still today.

All righty.

I understand.

You ever been married,

Mr. Whale?

No.

Well,

not in the legal sense.

What other sense is there?

Well, one can live as husband and wife

without getting the law involved.

So then you did

have a wife?

Or a husband, depending on

which of us you asked.

- My friend David lived here

for many years. - Oh.

Does that surprise you?

No, um...

You're a homosexual.

Mmm!

If one must use

the clinical name.

I'm not, you know.

I never thought you were.

You don't think of me

that way, do you?

And what way

would that be?

Well, the way that

I look at women.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I know a real

man like you...

would break my neck if I so

much as laid a finger on you.

Besides,

you're not my type.

So we understand

each other.

Hey.

Live and let live.

I hope this has got nothing to do

with your refusing to sit for me today.

Oh, no.

No, no.

What are you afraid of,

Mr. Boone?

Surely not a frail

old man like me.

Tell me more about yourself,

Mr. Boone.

Have you

a steady companion?

- Not at the moment.

- Oh? Why not?

Well, 'cause I guess you gotta

kiss ass just to get a piece of it.

Nicely put.

A man's gotta

make up his life alone.

A philosopher.

Mmm.

Thoreau...

with a lawn mower.

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