Going in Style Page #5

Now I realize you guys are 4,000 years old.

That is fabulous.

But under those masks,

you're going to need to

feel like you're 20.

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Now this is crucial.

You have to have a solid alibi.

Wednesday the 15th?

That's the lodge fundraiser.

Solid alibi.

Do we have any volunteers

for the T-shirt committee?

Please put your hands down in back.

We're trying to see if there are

volunteers for the T-shirt committee.

We are volunteering, Milton.

All right.

Each teller's drawer is equipped

with dye packs and tracing devices.

Now, they'll give you one if they can,

but they will never

endanger lives to do it.

The average police response

time to a robbery in progress

is between two and four minutes,

depending on how near a

unit is to the scene

and how many other police

calls are in the vicinity.

Everything's on the damn Internet.

Set your stopwatches to two minutes.

And walk it like it's the real deal.

4 minutes, 54 seconds.

Right now, you would all be

in the back of a Cop car.

Your guns are only there for

the worst-case scenario.

You need to know how to shoot,

but the last thing you want

to do is shoot anybody.

Who's on the door?

I'll handle that. Stand guard. Keep watch.

You know how to handle a gun?

The more you practice,

the better you'll be.

And come showtime,

you will stroll out of

that bank with more money

than you've ever seen.

Piece of cake.

Maybe the Cops will be slow.

Attica! Attica! Attica!

Attica! Attica!

I don't want to watch the ending.

Yeah, that didn't work out too well.

How can he sleep?

He's getting laid.

Oh, yeah.

I remember what that was like.

You feeling good?

Yeah. Yeah. Good as gold.

Me too.

Nobody's going to get hurt.

That's right.

We get into trouble, we're out of there.

That's right. Yeah.

Cops come, we lay down.

Hands in the air.

Two minutes tops.

Tops. Give or take.

Get some sleep, young man.

All right. You too, young man.

Don't let the omelet touch the fruit.

She likes a separation.

You do this every day?

- Every day.

- No sh*t.

Yes sh*t.

I wish my dad did this for me.

So does your daughter.

What are you doing here?

He's making Brook's breakfast.

I see that. Why?

I'm training him. He's making

an effort to be a father.

Good morning.

Your father made you breakfast.

Holy sh*t!

- Easy!

- 'Language,

Sorry.

Your father will be picking you up today.

Did he find Jesus or something?

Doubtful. He's figured out

how much he's missing.

Yeah, this week.

He's just not much with the follow-through.

Give him a shot, babe. For me.

Sure, Joe. But only because

you're my best friend.

I love you, kiddo.

You're going to do it all.

What's going with you today?

Do you have cancer or something?

No! No, no. I'm as strong as an ox.

Okay.

It's carnival day. Lots to do.

Yes. I'm coming right after school.

Yup, and I'm going to bring you

fried dough with your name on it.

Okay. That's a little tight there.

I love you too.

Go make something of yourself.

I will, young man.

See you later,

Dad.

I've been giving you crap

for a long time, Murphy.

I guess I deserve it. Mostly.

That's one of the smartest

things you ever said.

Listen, Joe.

Whatever it is you're doing,

you don't have to do it.

There's always another way.

My business is my business, kid.

Forget that you know it.

And if in the end, I don't

come back, it's on you.

I can't cover for you anymore.

You're her father.

You got to step up to the plate.

Act like a man.

Even if you have to fake it.

All right.

Okay, gents. Let's mingle.

Three in a row wins a prize!

Hello, Paulie. Hot enough for you?

Perfect day for it.

I've got to check in at the ticket office.

Well, be good.

I won't be good. But I will be careful.

Okay, here you go. Thank you.

You folks are popular.

Yeah. It's the cocaine.

You've got cocaine?

That was a joke, Milton.

Oh, okay, very funny.

Hang here for one minute. I got

to go to the karaoke thing.

I can't. I got to check in

to the cotton candy booth.

Milton, that's where you are right now.

It's okay. You're better off not knowing.

We're closed. We're out of cocaine.

Go away.

Beat it.

Be careful in there. Lots

of monsters, you know.

Be very careful.

All right, watch your step.

I'm going in, Sam.

- Where did they go?

- I don't know!

I thought you had 'em!

I decided we should use blanks.

No one needs to get hurt by accident.

Well, it's just us now, kids.

Fellas,

it's been a real hell of a time

planning a heist with you.

Can't think of two people I'd

rather have done it with.

Hear. Hear.

Ditto.

Ladies and gentlemen...

This is an actual robbery.

Kiss the ground. Don't breathe.

Don't move. Don't touch the silent alarm

unless you like bullets

flying around your head.

Hit the dirt, big guy!

Put that gun away.

Okay, folks, we'll be out of

your lives in two minutes.

Get moving, Blue Eyes.

Here we go.

All tellers, please stand

up and open your windows.

Ten seconds.

No dye packs, no tracers.

You got me, see? No tracers,

no dye packs, no funny business.

Yes, Mr. Sinatra.

Nobody's gonna get hurt.

20 seconds.

Thank you.

Here you go, Ma'am.

No funny business. Do you

know what that means?

I do. I do.

All of it, son.

30 seconds.

Give me everything you've got.

You can have her, mister.

40 seconds.

Hey! Stick to the plan.

All units, all units report

to Williamsburg Savings Bank.

We have a robbery in progress.

Repeat, we have a 10-30...

One minute!

I don't want to take your doll, sweetheart.

You know, when my

granddaughter was your age,

she had one just like it.

What's her name?

Okay, honey. This man has a job to do.

His job's robbing banks?

No, sweetheart. Just trying

to see my family more often.

Light-headed...

What's happening?

You okay, mister?

Going to need a little help.

He's going to need a little help.

Jesus Christ!

I'll get him.

Stay put.

Oh, my God!

Lucy!

His mask's too hot for him.

Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you.

I can't breathe when I wear masks, neither.

You're so sweet.

Two minutes.

What the hell's going on?

Can you make it out of here?

Yeah, I'm okay.

It's now or never, kid.

You stay in school, kiddo.

And don't rob banks, you hear me?

Come on!

Hurry!

This is my bank!

Are you crazy?

- Freeze!

- Me freeze?

You don't tell me to freeze. You freeze!

I'm not going to be a victim anymore.

Tell them to freeze too.

They can hear you just fine.

What's the plan now?

I'm working on one.

Put your hands up

and drop the money.

Okay, in three seconds,

I'm going to shoot you.

You're going to do what?

I'll shoot back!

That's your plan?

One!

Two!

Next number's three!

I can count.

He's going to bloody shoot us.

Three!

You're a sh*t shot, pal.

Now you're going to meet your maker.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Those were blanks, you dipshit.

Okay, folks. Count to 90

out loud and backward.

And don't stand up until you get there.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote