Going The Distance Page #10

Three beers, yes?

Oh, no.

- What's going on?

- What the f***?

- Holy sh*t.

What? You're not Charlie Chaplin fans?

This is gonna kill.

I love Charlie Chaplin.

I'm not a fan of the guy

that has the exact mustache.

Where are you going with this?

At no point during shaving

did you think:

- "CooI it. I'm gonna look like Hitler"?

- Hitler? Oh, yeah, thought of that.

It's the plastered hair.

I knew you guys

were gonna give me sh*t.

I'm shaving it, and then... I get that

way too far on this side.

- Too far.

- I went too far down this side.

I started going back and forth,

back and forth. I stop.

If I stop now, and you can

still pull off Chaplin. You know what?

If you don't like it,

I'll send you to the gas chamber.

- You are doing Hitler.

- I'll do whoever I want.

Pick a character and go-

- Hey, game faces. Hello.

- Hi.

- How you doing?

- Good.

You guys didn't go to schooI with us.

We did not. No.

You have a very foxy eye for detaiI.

- Wanna dance?

- I do.

- Time machine.

- Yeah.

Maybe my friend Garrett here

can join us?

I'm good. No. I'm good.

I'm gonna sit this one out.

- Bye, gentlemen. Shall we?

Let's do it.

Hold on, hold on

Oh, man, this is ridiculous.

I know it's ridiculous.

- You know you don't have to be here.

- You think I'm gonna miss this?

No. Well, yeah. No, not this though.

I mean-

Look, Box and I, this is what we do.

We do stupid sh*t, and we'll be fine.

So if you're worried about us,

don't worry about us, man.

But you, you don't need to be here.

Yeah. I know.

Okay, then.

As long as you're thinking about it.

- Okay.

- I'm taking off.

These dudes don't look

like Chaplin fans to me.

Oh, boy.

They look like angry Jews.

Sorry.

Hello.

- Hello.

How was work?

- You know? Uh, it was awesome.

- Good.

Oh, hey. You got a package today.

- Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hm.

It's from Garrett.

Oh. What does it say?

"They're gonna be in San Francisco.

Thought you might wanna go. "

Who is?

The Boxer Rebellion.

That was one of the first bands

that we saw together.

Are you gonna go?

That depends.

On whether or not you'll be my date.

I can get drunk there, right?

There's sort of

an unidentifiable smell in here...

...that I can't quite just put my finger on.

I don't know, but just push your way in.

It's urine. It's urine. I smell urine.

Oh, good. That means it's a good club.

And puke. Oh, yeah.

There's a hint of puke. And urine.

Well, that's even better.

- I know, then. Good.

- Sorry.

- It's all right.

Hi.

Hi, Corinne.

- Hey, Garrett. I like your haircut.

- Thanks. Did something different.

And your dick's in your pants,

so that's good.

I'm gonna go check out the...

Oh, f*** it. I'm just not gonna be here.

Okay? Okay?

You're gonna just-?

- Hi.

- Hi.

What are you doing here?

I manage the band.

- You do?

- Yes. Ha, ha. Crazy, I know.

- Really?

- Yeah.

That's- That's great.

- Really?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Wow.

- No, I left the labeI.

You were right, as it turns out.

I hated the hell out of my job.

Well, I hate to say "I told you so. "

No, you don't.

You love saying "I told you so. "

- You love it.

- You're right.

Who are you kidding?

So are you living in New York?

I actually just moved to Los Angeles.

- Really?

- Yeah.

The band actually lives in L.A.

And, I don't know if you know this,

I know you're not a huge geography fan...

...but L.A. is not only in the same

time zone as San Francisco...

...it's in the same state. So...

Yeah. It's very close.

Yeah. It's a one-hour flight.

A six-hour drive.

- Eighteen-hour hot-air balloon ride.

- Ha-ha-ha.

If you were to go that way.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

I don't know what your situation is...

I miss you.

That's not a question.

Yeah, it is.

I'm always here

Waiting for you

All alone

Eyes of the night

Just to see

See you home

There's two of us

In it

They follow

All night

I can't believe she left

without us. That's so weird.

It's a schooI night

and she probably didn't like the band.

She didn't like-

She didn't like me. She hates me.

How am I gonna win that crazy one over?

Now that we're spending more time

with each other...

...which I couldn't be happier about,

maybe you should get your own apartment.

Just so we don't have to sneak around

her house, you know, like teenagers.

Shh. But for tonight,

let's just go upstairs, like adults.

That's very mature.

- Okay.

Shh, shh, shh...

Wait, wait, wait.

C- Uh-

Are you guys-? Are you dry humping?

- No.

- Sorry.

- But I didn't-

- I don't care if you didn't finish. Get off.

Mommy? Are you okay?

Maya, statue!!!

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