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Are you married?

Yes.

- Do you two play?

- No, but she knows that I do it.

Hmm.

We're coming right out.

It's not an affair.

I could never do that.

My husband Chris

comes from real wealth,

East Coast Wall Street money,

and he's quite a few years

older than I am.

Things are all right

between us, but...

I've never actually known

any kind of feeling

that could be called ecstasy

with him.

I didn't even know what an orgasm

was until recently.

We had this huge

catered dinner affair,

some of Chris' clients,

valet parking and all that.

At some point

during the evening,

I was called into the kitchen

to resolve some stupid argument

about what food to bring out next

and I noticed the room

where the staff

had left their things.

And after everyone left the kitchen,

I went into that room,

and I opened one of the backpacks.

And... and I found some change

quarters, dimes, pennies.

I felt like I was gonna faint.

I began to rub the coins together

between my fingers

and then I began to dig my nails

into the coin's... flesh,

the surface.

It was like

a series of waves.

That's how I knew.

It must have been wonderful.

- It was.

- Have these experiences continued?

Well...

I felt so guilty about it

the first time,

I was determined

never to do it again.

But I did do it again

and after a while,

I stopped feeling guilty about it.

But I... I still would like to know...

why I get my pleasure this way.

Because it is restricted.

Can I ask you a question

about something you described?

- Yes.

- Did you keep the coins?

Well, I only needed

a few at a time.

I never would have given

them back.

You didn't buzz first.

I'm sorry, I forgot.

If you don't watch out,

you'll lose your key privileges.

I hope you are not serious.

I just like to know

you're coming up, that's all.

Not too much to ask, is it?

What are we arguing about here?

My right to privacy.

That's bullshit.

Suzanne, you don't like the way

I do anything these days.

Ugh, could you tell whoever it is

I'll call them back, please?

Hello?

She's not here right now.

Can I take message?

Juno?

And she has your number?

I'll take it.

This is the woman

you used to work for, isn't it?

Hi, Juno.

Let's try again.

I know you can get it.

F...

free.

- Let's try it another way.

- I don't wanna do this.

- Let's just see...

- I don't wanna do this!

- Peter...

- No!

Hi, you've reached Suzanne.

Please leave a message.

Suzanne, I was...

it's Peter.

I was wondering if we could

get together later?

Do you think that's a good idea?

I think it's a good idea.

Would you call me back when you...

when you get a chance?

Yeah?

Lisa, hi.

I've got one of

the Board of Directors up front.

Sh*t.

I'm not even close to ready

with this thing.

I told them I wasn't sure

if you'd left yet.

- If you don't mind.

- No problem.

Thanks.

You may open your eyes now.

You're fighting it today,

Peter.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

Let the control go.

Come on, you're experienced.

You know how to do this.

Hey.

You really have runner's legs.

Not too much to grab on to.

Let your body lead the way.

I wanna be taken apart.

Thank you.

Are you ready to worship me?

Yes.

Yes?

Yes.

The year I turned 16 was the most

horrible year of my whole life.

We had just arrived from Germany

to finally join my father,

but...

my parents' marriage

was always a disaster

and he basically left right away.

He came to visit me

and my brother sometimes.

And then, some months later,

around Christmas,

he just crashed into this truck

in the middle of nowhere.

Boom.

Life, I can tell you.

Were you... were you close?

- To him?

- Yeah.

I was his favorite.

I wanted it to be that way.

I think I even flirted with him.

In fact, I know I did.

- Did anything...

- No.

Not with him,

but my mother always hated

how close we were.

She was jealous.

She...

she always punished everyone

for her own unhappiness

her whole life.

Just like she punished me

and my brother when my dad died.

She was so cold and removed.

Sometimes when people

are in shock...

Look, Peter,

I have a therapist.

I talk to her once a week,

I don't need another one.

Yeah, yeah, right.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to be so harsh.

- I should go.

- I'll get you a cab.

- No, I like walking.

- I'll walk with you.

No, I like walking alone.

Stop.

Please let me continue.

Let me... smell you.

Lie down.

Lie down, Peter.

We only have a few minutes left.

I remember being so bored that summer.

Also terrified

of trying to make friends.

I ended up hanging out

with this kid Tim.

I guess I thought he was cute,

but mostly I just needed not to be

the new girl with the weird accent.

When I gave him

the blow job that day,

I actually remember feeling proud

of myself afterwards.

I never knew if Tim

meant to tell everybody like that

or if it just got around...

...but by then it didn't matter.

Why am I telling you this?

You hear these kind of stories

every day.

I don't think that's the point.

I was gonna say...

if it didn't still hurt,

you wouldn't have brought it up.

Come on, Peter.

Even you must hold on to things

that irritated you

a long time ago.

Of course.

So, what?

Tell me.

Things at school.

School things.

Things I couldn't

seem to make them understand.

I tried it...

every time I'd talk,

everything seemed to come out wrong.

It was shameful.

I get mad about it.

Makes me...

Even now, people correct

the way I say something,

I sit there for days

going over it in my head.

More and more

terrified of losing it.

Jesus, listen to us.

What?

Talking about our childhood

like this.

People talk to me

about this sort of thing all the time.

That's exactly the reason why

we should be talking about other things.

I like listening to you.

I think we've established

on plenty of occasions

that your intentions

aren't as innocent as that, Peter.

- What's going on?

- Nothing.

You didn't like me touching you?

It's what I saw behind it.

What did you see?

How much more you wanted.

- During our sessions together...

- That wasn't me, okay?

You wanted to go out, too.

I know.

I just need to do it my way,

okay?

I will be back.

I will be back.

Do my legs now.

Do you want me

to take this off?

You know that's against the rules.

Do they apply to us anymore?

- The rules are there to protect us.

- I know.

You don't sleep with your patients!

- That's not the same thing.

- For me it is.

It's time to jerk off.

Aah!

I want you to come for me.

Suzanne!

Suzanne.

Hello, my dear.

Don't you look wonderful.

Not even a kiss hello?

Too late,

I'm already sitting.

What would you like, dear?

Deaf cappuccino, please.

No caffeine?

You've changed.

So tell me,

what have you been doing

with yourself

since you left the business?

Working on my art mostly.

That all?

It's a lot.

I'm sure. Yes.

And the girlfriend?

What about her?

I always thought

you'd end up with a man.

Oh, I suppose there's still

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