Gold Diggers of 1935 Page #3

You're an honest, serious,

intelligent young man, aren't you?

Well, Mrs. Prentiss, I do try

to be serious and, honest, yes.

Well, I've been keeping an eye on you,

and mind you...

mind you,

I'm a very good judge of human nature.

And I consider you entirely trustworthy.

You're very kind, Mrs. Prentiss.

Would you like to earn $500?

Of course! Who wouldn't?

Well, I'd like a trustworthy young man

to take my daughter to...

Please, Mother!

To teas and dances

and the social functions...

she may wish to attend

for the rest of the summer.

And I don't know of anyone whom

I'd rather trust her with than you.

Well, I'm sorry, but I don't go in for that.

I'm sure you can find

plenty others that will.

Probably I could, but not the type I want.

You see, I want someone

who'll consider this...

purely as a business proposition.

$500.

That would nearly pay my expenses

at medical school next year.

- Did I say $500?

- Yes, Mother, you did.

Well, I thought I said $450...

but, of course, if I said $500, $500 it is.

Well, I'm sorry, I can't do it.

If you're worried about

your professional standing...

we might say

that you're a distant relative.

- Could I let you know in the morning?

- Of course.

And I'm sure that you'll accept it

after you've slept on it.

- Thank you. Good night.

- Good night.

Good night.

Mother, how could you?

I've never been so humiliated in all my life.

Well, my dear, you started this.

You said you want to have some fun

this summer.

All right, you can. But with protection.

In other words,

she wants to give me $500...

just to chaperone her silly daughter.

I'm not the type.

If you ask me,

I think it's a great opportunity.

- Are you kidding?

- Certainly not.

You want to get ahead, don't you?

Surely, but I don't want to be a nursemaid

to some insignificant chromo.

Ann Prentiss isn't so bad.

It's the way she dresses.

Besides, it means some ready cash.

And what's more, a valuable social contact

that never did any doctor a bit of harm.

I suppose not.

The more cash we put by,

the sooner we can get married.

Isn't that right?

I can't argue with you there, dear.

I think that's a very wise decision,

young man.

So do I.

Mr. Thorpe, are you sure

you have no objections?

Certainly not. I'll be able to finish

my monograph without any distractions.

- Many thanks.

- Now, about a schedule.

After luncheon, maybe a little walk,

and then a game of Ping-Pong.

Oh, no schedules, Mother.

I'm gonna do what I want

whenever I want to.

- Why, Ann!

- Well, that was the bargain.

And the first thing I'm going to do

is get some decent clothes.

I'm sick and tired

of looking like Little Orphan Annie.

What's the matter with your clothes?

- Your dresses are always trim and neat.

- Yes, like burlap bags.

- Come on, Mr. Curtis.

- Yes, with pleasure.

Now remember, young man,

$500 for the job, and no extras.

No extras. Not even a sales tax.

A- shopping we will go

A- shopping we will go

Heigh-ho the merry-o

To spend your mama 's dough

- Well, I'll see you later.

- Oh, no, you got to go with me.

No, I've never been shopping

with a woman.

That makes it even, 'cause I've never been

shopping with a man.

- Come on.

- Now look, you don't understand.

I don't know anything about shopping.

I'm studying medicine.

Well, I'm telling you,

I won't be any use to you at all.

But at least you can help me decide

what's what.

Now look, wait a minute.

Now, if we were sweethearts...

But we're not.

I realize that, but I mean

if we were sweethearts...

I'd have the good right

to tell you what's what.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

And then when you'd go shopping,

why, I'd go along and I'd even dare to...

Dare to what?

Well, I'd...

I'd dare to sing you this song

Whenever you go shopping

To buy a dress that's new

Honey, I'll keep my eye on

The dresses you try on

'Cause I'm going shopping with you

When you go to the jeweler

To buy a gem or two

On your fourth little finger

A ring's gonna linger

'Cause I'm going shopping with you

Lots of shoes and stockings

And plenty of new chapeaux

That's what I could go for

For the cute little baby

Inside those clothes

You go and pick the cottage

I'll put the mortgage through

Honey, I don't know whether

We'll move in together

But I'm going shopping with you

Where's your basket?

I'm going shopping with you

Let's go to the beauty parlor.

- But why?

- I need my face redone.

If they paint you, they're silly.

They can't paint a lily.

But we'll let them try it for fun

- We must go to the grocers.

- To the grocers?

I might need an egg or two.

Then I'll bring home the bacon,

or am I mistaken?

About going shopping with you?

We can build a nest with sweet kisses

And then someday

Maybe we'll be blessed with

In the pig Latin language

An aby-bay

I'll buy the baby blankets.

- What color?

- All trimmed in baby blue?

Okay.

Then I'll be right behind you

'Cause let me remind you

That I'm going shopping with you

In the basement

I'm going shopping with you

Well, here we are. Where do we go first?

There!

- Would you like these?

- Would you like to try them on?

- Would you like to take a walk?

- You step in, I'll step out.

- How do you like them?

- They're all right, but I like you better.

- How much are those mules?

- $22.

I'll bet your mother would

get a kick out of them.

Joke. Yes.

Mademoiselle, that brings out

all the charm in your personality.

I hope I can do as well.

L 'Air Stade, mademoiselle.

We blend it especially for the blond type.

- Like it?

- Ought to be great with ginger ale.

A real bargain, miss, for only $12,000.

- I'll take it.

- Fine. Is there anything else?

Yes, some smelling salts for her old...

Her mother.

Hey, what is this? A shortwave set?

- No, permanent.

- Oh, yes.

Lots of shoes and stockings

And plenty of new chapeaux

That's what I could go for

For the cute little baby

Inside those clothes

Behold the finished product!

Behold a dream come true!

But I feel apprehensive

It might be expensive

To always go shopping with

That's Mother

Good evening.

Well?

I distinctly remember telling you

never to serve that man again.

I'm sorry, Mr. Lamson,

but he walked into the dining room...

Stupid! That's what you are, stupid.

For my horse.

Mr. Nicoleff, this must stop! I can't permit

you to charge any more meals.

- Either you pay when you are served...

- Silence!

- What?

- I said, silence!

No more silly chatter from you.

Nicoleff is not satisfied with the food.

Well, really?

Do you call this muck caviar? Taste it!

I order vintage champagne. What do I get?

Vinegar filled with gas. Taste it!

Am I or am I not paying

for first-class service?

That's just it, Mr. Nicoleff.

- You are not paying.

- And I am not getting service.

The orchestra. Why is it not playing?

How do you expect the soul of Nicoleff

to expand without music?

Now, let us discuss this matter calmly.

Nicoleff is always calm.

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