Gold Diggers of 1937 Page #5

Personality, make him your pal.

I says, "J.J., if you don't know

what you're doing, it's not my fault.

Here's a policy

worked out to the last detail.

Now you can sign it, do yourself a favor,

or stew in your own juice. "

- And he signed it?

- No, no.

No?

I says, "J. J, you don't realize the millions of

people depending on you for entertainment.

The audiences of America, J.J.,

that is your family.

A family of 50 million people.

That is your responsibility!

It's a tradition. "

- Well, that got him.

- And he signed?

- Like a baby.

- Like a baby.

He may be old and baldheaded,

but he signed like a baby.

Say, Rosmer,

did you say old and baldheaded?

Oh, Rosmer, how old is he?

Fifty-nine.

Fifty-nine?

Why, he won't pass the medical.

Huh?

Wait a minute,

I know a guy who passed and he was 68.

Yeah, passed out.

He may not pass the medical.

Get a doctor.

- How does your head feel now?

- Oh, terrible.

Just like somebody was poking at it

with a nut pick.

Thanks for taking me to dinner.

Did I take you to dinner?

Oh, Ross,

will you stop worrying about J. J?

You've given up hope

before they've examined him.

So what?

You're quitting that's what,

and I hate a quitter.

Hey, wait a minute.

You ought to read a book or something

about perseverance.

- How men succeed.

- Well, I have.

- I've been reading books all week.

- Yeah?

- Just finished one Saturday.

- What's the name?

Well, it was a swell one,

and it was called Mutual Attraction.

- Mutual Attraction?

- Uh-huh.

It's all about love

and how to find one's mate.

Eight easy lessons.

Look, look.

- When I hold your hands, how do you feel?

- Silly.

- When I put my arm around you?

- I can't tell with only one arm.

Now what's the reaction?

Dithery.

- Now?

- Is this the seventh lesson?

What's the eighth?

- What's the mater?

- The page was torn out.

- Quitter.

- No, I'm not.

- I mean about Mr. Hobart.

- Oh.

You know, if you'd convince yourself

that he'd pass the medical, he would.

- Lf he doesn't, what are you gonna lose?

- A lot of money, and, baby, I need it.

When a fellow's thinking about asking a girl

to marry him, he ought to have money.

Are you thinking

about asking a girl to marry you?

Well, I was,

if I could get a little bank account.

Where there's love, is money necessary?

I don't think so even if you do.

Well, I hate to be mercenary,

but I've gotta disagree with you.

Oh, baby, what I couldn't do

With plenty of money and you

In spite of the worry that money brings

Just a little filthy lucre

Buys a lot of things

And I could take you to places

You'd like to go

But outside of that I've no use for dough

It's the root of all evil

Of strife and upheaval

But I'm certain, honey

That life could be sunny

With plenty of money and you

It's the root of all evil

Of strife and upheaval

But I'm certain, honey

That life could be sunny

With plenty of money and you

With plenty of money and you

Right this way, doctors.

Right this way.

Excuse me, excuse me.

- Good morning, miss.

- Good morning.

- Remember me? I was here yesterday.

- Yes, I remember you.

Well, these are the doctors

to examine Mr. Hobart.

He isn't in, he may not be down

this morning, he isn't feeling well.

Always the little kidder.

- Did you say...?

Don't pay attention to her.

She couldn't live

if she didn't have her little joke.

J.J.

Oh, Mr. Hobart, Mr. Hobart.

Yes, sir, everything is all set.

The doctors are here.

We're here for the medical checkup,

as you know.

Come back in a month.

Always clowning.

You know how these show people are.

Oh, Mr. Wethered, these are the doctors

here to examine Mr. Hobart.

Oh, yes.

Come right in, gentlemen.

All right, doctors.

The doctors, J.J.

Send them away, I don't feel good.

Now, J.J., that isn't fair.

Good morning, J.J.

Dr. MacDuffy, Dr. Henry,

Dr. Bell, Dr. Warshof.

Looking at you, Mr. Hobart, I would say

this examination was a mere formality.

Which however, has to be done.

Well, let's begin.

Come, J.J.

Come on.

- Sit right here, J.J.

- I don't feel good.

Now, Mr. Hobart, have you ever been

treated for any disease or disturbances of...

Answer separately.

The brain, nerves, nose,

tonsils, throat, lungs...

...heart, blood vessels,

stomach, liver, hay or rose fever?

No.

Skin, bones, glands, gout, rheumatism...

...tuberculosis, diabetes,

epilepsy, vertigo, dizzy spells?

No.

Maimed or deformed?

Do you use intoxicants of any kind?

- Do you ever travel in tropical countries?

- Yes.

No.

- No.

Let's proceed.

Just stand up, J.J.

Good heavens,

you're not gonna operate, are you?

I'm afraid not, come on. Down you go.

Careful now, careful, J.J., careful.

Upsy-daisy, up you go.

There.

You'd think I was a prize bull

in the county fair.

Please.

Now, J.J., don't worry,

it'll all be over in a few minutes.

Shh.

Shh.

- Gentlemen, you concur?

- Absolutely.

Yeah, well, it's about time.

- One moment, please.

- No, you can agree with them or get out.

Please, Mr. Hobart.

- No.

- Now kindly do this 10 times, very rapidly.

Hello.

It's for you, Mr. Peek.

Oh, excuse me.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Norma.

We can't wait any longer.

Is he passing?

Well, so far, yes, but we're not through.

I'll let you know.

Keep your fingers crossed, goodbye.

- What did he say?

What did he say?

Practically nothing.

MacDUFFY:
Say, "Ah. "

- Ah.

Ah. Ah!

- Say 99.

- Ninety-nine.

- Ninety-nine.

- Ninety-nine.

Breathe, deeply.

That will be all, gentlemen.

Take it easy, J.J.

All right, all right.

There you are.

Give me one of my pills.

I'm having a dizzy spell.

Now, buck up, J.J.,

everything's gonna be all right.

Oh, doctor.

Doctor, how was it? Did he pass?

You'll get your report in the usual way.

Here you are, J.J.

What's the matter? What's the matter?

Ever since those doctors have been here,

I've had the most awful pain in this arm.

What...?

Hey, you forgot your inner tube.

He didn't pass.

Oh, Andy.

Oh, Andy.

Hey, Andy, here's another one.

An error.

Pennsylvania $ 1 million.

Oh, no, I mean, this is...

This is J.J. Hobart's office.

No, I didn't mean that, yes...

No, no, we sell insurance.

I don't blame him.

Take it, Andy.

Hello?

No.

Yes.

Yes, I see.

Oh, doc, for the love of Pete,

don't give me technicalities.

Tell me, did he pass?

Wow! He passed.

Oh, Boop, stick around, will you?

I feel funny.

Let an old-timer give you a word

of advice, not that you need it.

But get this.

J.J. Hobart is your meal ticket.

The longer he lives, the more you earn.

But if anything happens to him,

your income stops.

Remember, stay close to him.

- Stay close to him?

- Yeah, that's right.

Let me see.

"Health, Exercise, Diet, Weight Control,

Life Begins at Fo... "

- How old is he?

- Fifty-nine.

"Life Begins at 40, Life... "

Here it is, Life Begins at 59.

Now, remember, stay close to him.

- Boop, you want a job?

- Sure.

You're night shift,

10 percent goes to you.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes