Goliath Page #2

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it's really strange.

Well, uh, thanks for

the information and, uh,

you know, I'm offering a reward,

so keep on the Iookout,

you know, if you see anything.

- Good Iuck.

- Thank you.

[gears whirring

and cranking]

[various men]

Get the balance!.

Get him by the neck and pull...

I got him!

Put his head in your balls.

Suck a dick!

I just got a hand full of nut.

I got 25 bucks on Carlos.

Come on, Johnson.

Squeeze his head, squeeze his head.

Squeeze his head!

Who's the master, now, f***er?

Say my name, b*tch!

Say it!

Reach in there and grab it.

I was Iike, "Oh, f***."

A friend of mine got

bit by a black widow on his dick.

Come on.

I've seen it.

I know what the f*** that is.

I Iove that movie.

Um, preparing...

I think he played football,

the Iast I heard of him.

[chattering]

Did she shave her beaver?

No, you just take it.

Yes, they do.

There's a recycling post.

If you're gonna be able

to take a bomb,

take the nuclear bomb...

That's the stupidest idea ever.

[burping]

A-B-C-D-E-F...

[laughter, applause]

#

[water gurgles]

[phone rings]

Hello?

Where are you?

I know, I know, I know, I know.

I'm just running a few minutes Iate.

I'm almost there.

I'll be there in a second, O. K.?

Uh-huh... O.K.

O.K., all right.

Be there in a sec.

Bye.

[wailing siren approaching]

[horn honks]

It's a very popular place.

No, it's off of...

Wichita, I think.

No, I didn't hear,

but I'm glad that you told me

in case I run into them.

But only steak fingers.

[door opens, shuts]

Oh, the other guy...

He's here now.

All right.

I will talk to you Iater.

Yeah, tonight.

O.K., bye-bye.

How are you?

Sorry I'm Iate.

Do you know we're getting

charged by the hour, don't you?

We'll go halfsies

on it, don't worry.

Uh, Iet's see.

Where to begin?

O. K., you are gold...

and you'll be Iime.

I need initials here and here

and signatures on these tabs.

O.K., exchange documents

and sign here, here,

and initial on these tabs.

Is that it?

[car engine turns on,

horn honks]

[whistles]

What?

Look, we're never

gonna come to a consensus

as to who did what first,

and that's fine, O. K.?

But there's one thing

I wanna make clear.

For what it's worth, on my end,

It...was just two fingers, O.K.?

That's it, nothing.

And, um...so in my opinion,

a couple of fingers

don't count, all right?

Um... I just wanted to say that.

Disgusting.

I don't wanna hear it.

It's disgusting, gross.

And even, uh...

And even though it didn't work

out for you and that guy

in the Iong run, you know,

which is, uh, why I guess

you're now with that,

that tattooed gentleman...

You know, what you

did was, uh, out of Iove.

Your cheating -

it was out of Iove.

Mine was just out of dumb Iust,

which barely counts, you know,

is nothing.

It may as well have been

with a piece of meat.

Seriously.

I mean, you know,

Iove is everything, O. K.?

And so, so what I did

is Iike nothing

in comparison to you.

I mean, it was just

two f***ing fingers.

Do you understand that?

Do you understand

how nothing that is?

- Are you done?

- Yeah, are you?!

I'm not trying

to change anything.

I'm just trying to say it, O. K.?

Hey!

Hey, guess what...

I smoke inside

the house now!

[saw buzzes loudly]

[saw buzzes]

[saw turns off, sputters]

[can opener cranking]

Goliath!

[horns honk]

[insects buzzing,

birds chirping]

#

[clanking]

[crickets chirping]

[thud]

[slurping, bubbling]

[liquid sloshes]

[opener snaps]

[smoke alarm beeps]

[sustained beeping]

[beeping stops]

[elevator dings]

The thing you do

is bet on a horse that pisses.

That's, Iike, the rule of thumb

because it's the Iightest.

I'll tell you a terrible

p*ssy-eating story.

Have you heard of...

You know when people got

that bush-broom mustache?

Who's that guy

that played "Magnum P.I."?

Tom Selleck.

Tom Selleck.

They call that a nut duster.

A nut duster?

Yeah, that's what...

It's a good Iittle

slang term for that type

of bush-broom mustache.

She said, "This is for Carlos,"

and took off her shirt.

And my friend, Brendon,

was filming her the whole time.

Later on, we went to

the eighth grade dance

and she showed up

and had someone

get me to come out there

and she was in, uh, an overcoat

with nothing underneath.

[laughing, chattering]

Look, when you drink tequila,

you get sick off tequila,

you know what I mean?

It takes seven years

for you to be able

to even smell the stuff again

because that's how Iong it takes

every cell of your body to...

You have one cell Ieft in your body

that still didn't Iike tequila...

You go,

"Oh, I don't Iike it," whatever.

But all your fingernails,

your heart muscles,

every brain,

regenerates itself.

I have been here

for seven years.

That means, basically--

Where is he going?

- Hey, where's he goin'?

- Where's he f***in' goin'?

Welcome to our world,

b*tch tits!

Welcome to our world, b*tch tits!

Come join the fun!

[laughter]

[keyboard clicking]

[musical beeping]

[engine starts]

[turn signal clicking]

[engine and radio turn off]

[birds chirp, door alarm beeps]

[door opens]

Are you Chad P. Franklin?

[voice box buzzes]

Why do you want to know?

Look, I know what you did, O. K.?

Everyone in the whole

neighborhood does.

You know, this used to be

a really nice place here.

Well, if you ask me,

this still is a really nice place...

if you have a positive attitude.

Is that all you came

over here for?

Y..Yes.

We've gotta go back inside

and finish doing my dishes...

if that's all right with you.

Whatever.

O.K., great...Idiot.

[door shuts, lock clicks]

[phone beeps, dials]

[phone rings]

Sabovich, private investigator.

Hi, I've the...

the 2:
30 appointment.

Um, uh...I'm Iooking

for the office...

But all I'm finding

at this address is a boutique.

Yes, that's my wife's business.

Just go right through

the front and I'll be here.

Oh... O. K.

Excuse me, um--

He's in the back.

O. K.

Hi, how are you?

OIiver Sabovich, P.I.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you for your time.

No problem.

I guess I should tell you up front

that...I have a, uh,

I have a coupon

from the phone book.

This is an ad,

not a coupon.

Really?

So how can I help you?

Well, um...

Basically I wanted to find out

about enlisting your services.

I have a cat that was

very dear to me, um, that...

was recently killed.

And I wanted to find out

what happened.

How was it killed?

By a car, you know,

by a person driving a car.

Near your house?

Uh, same general neighborhood, yeah.

I believe, uh, the car swerved,

uh, to intentionally...

hit the cat.

You know, presumably,

uh, murder.

Well, technically,

that's not murder.

Intentionally or unintentionally,

animals are killed.

Only humans can be murdered.

And, of course,

only very important humans

can be assassinated.

Look, I'm gonna be straight with you.

It's unfortunate, but this is not

the kind of thing that I cover.

I deal with more traditional things:

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