Good Boy! Page #4

I'll even act like

I'm your pet if I have to.

No, sir. I am in enough trouble

already with her.

- No way.

- What did you do wrong?

Us talking right now...

that's a problem, remember?

I did that.

Is it chilly out here

for you, Nelly?

We'll take you inside,

warm you up.

I know it's hard to imagine

a world without dogs, Owen,

but you can't fix things

that are beyond your control.

I'm not trying to.

But if you go away

and all the rest

of the dogs go away...

...then... then...

Who's gonna be

your best friend?

When the Greater Dane arrives,

we must welcome her

with dignified pageantry.

Your pride and honor

should burst forth.

- Oh, Shep!

- Sorry. Spaghetti and meatballs.

That's it!

This is hopeless.

You're all

leaving Earth forever.

- Hubble...

- Not now. I'm yelling.

That's what's gonna happen

if you don't straighten up.

This is the Greater Dane,

not some cockapoo

or Shih Tzu.

She'll have you strung up

by your tails.

- Strung up?

- Not my tail.

- What did he say?

- He's a little stressed out.

Let me talk to them

for a moment.

You all understand that you're being

asked to prove yourselves, right?

To prove that

you're worthy to live here,

to stay with the people

you love.

We want that

more than anything.

We'll do whatever

we need to do.

I know you will.

Just do your best.

They usually respond better

to a little... encouragement.

Let's start over.

When the Dane passes,

you must bow low before her.

No one's head should ever

be higher than hers.

Let's practice.

I'll play her.

Thank you.

Thank you, Earth dogs.

Nice to see you.

I'm pleased to visit

your fair planet.

Oh, isn't it lovely to be here?

La-dee-dah, la-dee-dah,

et cetera and so forth.

Not bad.

Not bad? That was cool.

It was good, actually.

I want to encourage you all

to keep practicing.

It's an attitude...

dignified, serious.

Now, have you figured out a way

to convince her we're in charge?

Connie had an idea.

Tell him your plan.

Whenever a great leader

visits the White House,

they give a formal dinner.

It's so lovely getting together

like this, Earth dogs.

We should do it more often.

It's hard for me,

Your Majesty.

I summer here,

but I winter in Miami.

Yes, I summer here, too,

but I winter in my poopie.

Whoa, Nelly.

That was embarrassing.

I'm fine.

Bring on the first course.

- Oh, my!

- They got steak.

I did say I was

hungry enough to eat a cow.

My compliments to the chef.

That's a sausage, right,

not a hot dog.

A hot dog would be wrong.

Can I just have a bite

right now?

Medium rare.

Look it.

Control.

- Control.

- Shep.

Your Majesty, I would like

to apologize in advance

for any farting.

- Is that chicken bits?

- No, sweetheart, that's pt.

What is she talkin' about,

pa-tay?

It's French

for meat byproduct.

Ooh, pass me the pt.

I must say, the humans are much

more domesticated than I expected.

Thank you very much, ma'am.

Has any other Greater Dane

ever visited Earth before this?

You're talking to me.

That can't happen.

Oh, yeah. Right.

It's been ages

since the last visit.

I betcha this will be

the fanciest welcome

any Dane's ever gotten.

We are in deep diddily doo-doo.

Hey, O.,

lookin' pretty spiffy there.

Hey, honey, we got

a very big day tomorrow.

- We're gonna sell, sell, sell.

- Sell, sell, sell.

Focus.

Eyes on the ball. Be the ball.

All right, Hub.

Go to bed.

I'm just saying, I think I could

get pretty good at this game.

What's the point if you're not

gonna be here long enough to play?

Oh, right.

It's just a silly game anyway.

Are you... agitated?

Yep, but it's not about you.

Don't worry.

You want a biscuit?

No.

It's hard to leave home.

I know.

But it's not

where you are, Owen.

It's who you're with.

Your mom and dad and you...

you make a good home.

Thanks.

All right, lights out.

I'll deal with you later.

All right, you gotta tell me.

- What?

- Why do you do those circles?

I'm building a mind fence.

- Excuse me?

- A mind fence.

It helps to keep out

negative thoughts while you sleep.

Yeah, sure.

How would you like to never, ever

have another bad dream?

- Never?

- Never, ever.

There. Go to sleep.

Mind fence.

Can't believe you fell for that one!

Hey.

Our cookies... in the air

will help sell your house

Cookies in the air

will sell your house

Oh, no.

I can sense it.

This could be the day.

Owen! This is

an all-family operation.

Up and at 'em!

No, Ma.

I have to work with the dogs today.

Owen, I need you

around here today.

- Mom. Mom!

- What?

There's nothing more important

than me working

with the dogs right now.

We've gotten some interesting calls

lately from the neighbors.

A particularly interesting one

from Connie's mother last night.

Your dad and I think

it's time to wrap it up

with the neighborhood dogs.

But, Mom, the dogs

need me now more than ever.

Today you're needed here,

with people.

I want you downstairs

in one minute.

Not good.

Dad, watch for Hubble.

That dog.

Not today, Hubba Bubba.

- I'll get him.

- No, I got him. You stay.

I'm gonna tie him up

out front.

Sit nicely out here and say,

"Hello! It's Open House Day.

Buy, buy, buy!"

That's what you're

gonna tell them.

She's got a little terrier

in her, that one.

- Hey, look, it's freak dog.

- What a freak.

Hey.

He's all alone.

And that should do it.

- Whoa!

- What was that?

Sounded like a sonic boom.

Yoo-hoo! Smile.

Cute.

That was a sonic boom?

Yeah. Doesn't make

sense, though.

Owen, change that shirt.

I need you to pass out

fact folders to the guests.

When I was a kid,

I used to hear that a lot,

but we lived near

an Air Force base.

That... that is weird.

Owen, tick-tock.

- Thank you.

- Great. Thanks a lot.

Mom.

- Mom.

- I was looking all over for you.

Feel free to roam the house

as you like.

- I can't find Hubble.

- I'm sure he's around somewhere.

Hubble's gone.

- Give him to me.

- I'm tryin'.

I can smell them.

It's Franky and Fred.

The Greater Dane

might be coming today.

We can't lose him now.

Straight edge.

Buzz cut.

- Let's give him a close shave.

- Yeah, shave.

I said the dog, loser.

There he is.

Help.

Get away from him,

you punks.

- Frank!

- I'm gonna get you, you brats!

I'm outta here.

Get him.

- Go!

- Hubble, run!

If I catch your butt,

I'm gonna bite it.

That little one is mine.

Oh, my back.

Red light.

We are law-abidin' citizens.

There they are.

Green means go.

There they go.

Yeah!

Over there.

Oh, we got 'em now!

Yeah!

Owen, it's a party!

What was in that gas?

'Cause I can't see straight.

Run! Run!

- What are you doing?

- What's going on?

The Greater Dane.

- Va-voom!

- That is one handsome lady.

Shh. Quiet.

Can someone tell her

to stay in focus, please?

Run!

Down.

Mom. Dad.

Bow down.

All hail Her Royal Highness!

That is not a dog.

What is that thing?

- That's a rat with a wig.

- It's a wig rat.

What's the matter

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