Good Kill Page #4

"Approved by the administration."

They give Nobel Peace Prizes

for this now?

They sure do.

You wanna talk about all the shots

we didn't take,

waiting for some D.C. lawyer

to come back from lunch?

- No wonder they hate us.

- They always hated us.

We're always gonna be the great Satan

because we got Hustler and Hooters,

and we let women drive

and go to school.

And they're not gonna stop hating us

until the savages

have Sharia law everywhere

on the goddamn planet.

You think you'd have this job

if you were over there?

- Do you think you'd have any job?

- There were kids!

Not our fault. They shouldn't

bring kids into a war zone.

They live there!

Did you get the wrong address, Suarez?

Look around you.

This is a military base. It's what we do.

We're fighting a war

and we're winning it.

They bomb New York lately?

We're saving American lives.

So, f***ing sue me.

God is great.

Later, Jane Fonda.

You're a f***ing idiot, Zimmer.

No offense.

Actually, offense.

What do you think, sir?

- Those are the orders.

- Yeah.

At least it doesn't give you a hard-on.

Sorry, sir, I could just...

I could kill Zimmer.

Death Junkie Christie.

We should go out on the town.

You know, just our crew.

So we don't end up killing each other

in that goddamn sweatbox.

- Hi, Dad.

- Hi, Daddy!

Hey.

All right, come on. Get in the car.

No pushing.

What's the Pythagorean theorem?

The square of the hypotenuse

is equal to the sum

of the squares on the other two sides.

There you go. Nicely done.

Did you really need to know

all this to be a pilot?

Absolutely not.

They said I did, but I didn't.

Still, it's good to know it anyway.

The truck's making that noise again.

I'm gonna need to take it to the shop.

All right, well, I'll take a look at it.

Those guys will rip you off.

Okay.

To Crew 3-2.

F***ing Vegas.

You wanna see how civilization ends,

come here.

Caesars Palace, New York-New York,

Paris, The Venetian, Monte Carlo...

- What's the goddamn pyramid?

- Luxor.

No wonder f***-all Americans

got a passport.

They think the world's all here.

End of civilization.

Who's up for a lap dance, huh?

I'm paying.

- Really?

- No, I'm not.

Dick.

You and your wife

from somewhere else?

I've never met anyone in Vegas

that actually comes from here.

Well, she does.

I met her when she was working

at the Tropicana

about a year before I shipped out

to the sandbox, my last tour.

First date, I took her flying in an F-16.

- That'll work.

- Yeah.

She thought I was exciting

in a boring kind of way.

And a part of her just liked

Uncle's paychecks every 15 days.

What about you?

Battlefields and blackjack?

Still every girl's dream?

I don't know.

How bad do you miss it?

Flying.

I miss the fear.

You're up in the sky,

something can happen.

There's a risk, you know?

I mean, try landing on a carrier

at night or in rough seas,

the deck's pitching 30 feet, low fuel.

We've got no skin in the game.

I feel like a coward every day.

Taking pot shots from half a world away

in an air-conditioned cubicle.

I mean, they get lucky, they shoot

my plane down. I'm not even in it.

All we got to do is

pull another one out of the box.

Worst thing that can happen to me is

carpal tunnel or I spill coffee in my lap.

The most dangerous thing I do

is drive home on the freeway.

Yeah, I get the feeling

I'm gonna die of boredom.

Well, I'm gonna try my luck.

Yeah. All right.

You'?

No, I'd better get going. I got...

Okay.

- Good night, sir.

- Good night.

F***.

- Major.

- Yeah.

You in a hurry?

You might want to throttle back.

Yeah, no, I was...

Yeah, I don't know.

Listen, Major...

I'm a vet.

I'll let it slide this one time.

Come on, I'll get you home safe.

Hey, Jesse, what are you doing awake?

I'm thinking.

Well, what you thinking about?

- Everything.

- Well, that's a lot to be thinking about.

Why don't you try

just thinking about sleeping?

I'll do that.

Good night, Daddy.

We made the papers again.

Ever notice when they burn Old Glory,

their flags are always homemade?

For some reason, they don't stock

the Star-Spangled Banner

in those Pashtun bazaars. No.

Somebody had to paint

these 50 stars and 13 bars by hand.

They had to do it just right.

So we definitely know it's us

that's got them so upset.

Like some guy stayed up all night

making that symbol of

evil American imperialism

just as good as he can.

A lot of love went into that hate.

I've never been to Yemen, sir.

If I were you, I'd keep it that way.

This is Johns. We're over

your requested position, Langley.

These are the coordinates

for Al-Bayda province, South Yemen.

Good afternoon,

Lieutenant Colonel Johns.

Last time I checked, Langley,

we're not at war with Yemen.

While we respect state sovereignty

and the rule of law, Colonel,

we're regrettably facing

a substate adversary

who abides by no rules.

Out of necessity, this war on terror

has become borderless.

The target is the Al-Qaeda cell

gathered by the market.

We see the crowd.

You want us to kill a crowd?

Al-Qaeda unsurprisingly,

tend to congregate with Al-Qaeda

or associated forces.

Consequently, we've determined

that it is militarily more effective

to eliminate a group than an individual.

Does that include the underage boy, sir?

Our analysts see only

military age males.

In our assessment, this Al-Qaeda cell

represents an imminent threat.

Permission to prosecute.

Please cease recording.

- Laser.

- Lasing.

Master arm on, weapon's hot.

Three, two, one...

Rifle.

Missiles away. Time of flight,

ten seconds.

Like fish in a f***ing barrel.

It is a sad fact that

war is often asymmetrical.

Please forego damage assessment

and exit the airspace.

Master arm off, weapon's safe.

Laser's safe.

"Imminent threat"? They couldn't live

any further away from us.

- Poorest f***ing place on earth.

- Setting the course for Djibouti.

It depends on

your definition of imminent.

Actually, you're right about that.

- I am?

- Yeah.

Take a while for that boy to get big

enough to hold a Kalashnikov.

But no question, we are a regular

f***ing terrorist factory.

Best recruitment tool

Al-Qaeda ever had.

We can kill them faster

than they can make 'em.

F*** you, Zimmer.

You'd better pray they never get drones.

They're not gonna

waste money on a drone

when they can strap a bomb to a kid.

Did you know the Times Square bomber

was trained in Yemen?

Not very well. It didn't go off.

A**hole.

The reason he tried to blow us up

was drone strikes.

So obviously we should keep on

hitting them with drone strikes, right?

Yes.

Prepare to hand off.

- Hey, man.

- Hey, Zack.

Major, we got a customer.

- You're the only available crew.

- What is it?

Overwatch. One-Six.

Warhorse Six, this is Deadly Four-One.

Deadly Four-One,

my men need some shuteye.

Can you watch our backs?

Make sure we don't get

any uninvited guests till 0600?

That's an affirmative, Warhorse Six.

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