Good Vibrations Page #3

and a jingle for

cheese-and-onion crisps.

Is that what you had in mind

when you started up?

Flute bands and crisp commercials?

Times we live in.

I have to put the dinner

on the table somehow.

And what about your,

er, rock-and-roll soul?

How do you feed that?

I can give you an hour on Tuesday

after next. 10:
00 okay?

In the morning?

Come on, we're music people.

Zoot Sims, Dreams.

This brings back memories.

Amazing, isn't it? Bit of cardboard

and some pressed plastic.

All that magic, 14p.

- 14p to buy?

- 14p to make yourself.

That's recording.

Wall-of-sound production values,

top-of-the-range pressing facilities

and the sleeves are taken care of.

- 14p?

- And we sell 'em for 50p.

How many were you

thinking of doing?

3,000.

Trust me.

Up your hole, EMI.

Oh, I thought you were sending it

to EMI and Polydor?

I know, but up their hole anyway.

We made it. We cracked the code.

We did it without them.

Out of my way!

Look at that!

We'd made the records.

Now all we had to do was convince

3,000 people to buy them.

It was Northern Ireland.

Some resistance was to be expected.

There was still a circuit of sorts.

I know what you're thinking, but don't

be fooled by the collars and the sideburns.

These guys had balls.

This guy ended up in Thin Lizzy.

This guy

ended up in Wings.

These guys...

You're barred.

You can't bar us! We've never

even been in here before.

Well, for giving me lip,

you're definitely barred now.

I know people.

I could have you shot.

I know the same people you know.

I could have you sent to bed

without your supper.

You're laughing now,

but I swear to f***

sooner or later I'm gonna get you.

Power to the people.

Right, back to business.

What, them squirrely-looking bastards

you see glue-sniffing in Cornmarket?

Doesn't "punk" mean

"fruit", anyway?

I don't want that kind

of carry-on here.

And they all have their own place.

They've got that shite-hole, The Pound.

One night a week.

They need a place to call their own.

Better stage than The Pound, and all.

How many does this place hold

on a good night?

How the f*** would I remember?

I can. About 200.

Some of these kids are only wee.

I'd say 250, once the word spreads.

Three or four nights a week.

D'you know what this place

is starting to remind me of?

What?

Itself.

Pass us the salt there.

Please.

- Please.

- This is lovely.

Oh, the potatoes are George's own.

You should get him to take you

round the garden after dinner.

So you're a shop owner and a

record-company boss now, are you?

How's your work going?

Break your heart,

some of those estates.

There's kids in their teens

have already given up.

This is the same man that used to

march round the town with me, shouting,

"Property is theft!

Property is theft!"

Catch yourself on, Dad.

It's not like you think.

All I've promised these kids

is to get them heard.

I've sent the record out to every

record company in London.

And?

And I'm still waiting on them

getting back to me.

Of course you are.

It's the most rotten

industry there is.

Bribes, payola, cartels.

Get involved in that, you'll either

end up a crook or you'll go broke.

- I'll never be a crook. - It's the

parents need the talking-to, isn't it?

Not the kids. The kids'll only

go as far as they're let.

Actually, I'm taking a couple of groups

out on the road next month.

- What?

- Just a few dates.

It's just to let people see

what's going on here.

Are you sure it's wise driving a

van round this country at night?

Look at those poor fellas

that got murdered.

Oh, don't talk to him.

He's an impresario.

The Lew Grade of

Great Victoria Street.

How many elections is

it you've lost, anyway?

Ten?

Did it ever occur to you there might

be more than one alternative?

More gravy, anyone?

Watch your step, lads.

Are these the Rudi roadies?

- Ha-f***ing-ha.

- Meet your new label-mates.

You've changed your tune.

Well, I'll have grown old

waiting on them changing theirs.

Anyone else coming on this tour?

- Tearjerkers.

- Can we come?

- These two.

- Let's go.

- Uncle Terri!

- Yeah!

Cheeky bastards.

Wait. Does anybody know

how to drive this f***ing thing?

We're your f***ing stars.

You can't ask us to drive.

Yeah!

Where the f*** are we?

We're on the road to Damascus.

Hello, Damascus, we're Rudi.

# Watching you is what I got to do

# To ensure my piece of mind

# Every day and every single night

# I have to keep a watch on you

# I spy, I spy you

# Walking down the street

# I spy, I spy him

# It's just a lie

# Ah, ah, ah

# Ah, ah, ah

# Ah, ah, ah

# Ah, ah, ah

# To meet a friend

That's what you expect

# To meet a friend for

old time's sake

# I spy, I spy you

# Walking down the street

# I spy, I spy him

# It's just a lie #

People keep handing me

these f***ing things.

They wouldn't be doing that if they

knew what happened to Big Time.

Or what didn't happen.

Hasn't happened yet. I'm still

waiting on calls from London.

Maybe when we get back.

Wait till you see.

I don't know where half

of them came from.

- Everybody out of the f***ing van!

- Ah, Jesus.

- Out, out, out!

- Everybody out!

- I said f***ing out!

- Put your hands up!

Whoa!

- Put your hands up!

- Whoa.

Search 'em, lads.

What the f*** have we here, eh?

A f***ing scarecrow convention?

Listen, fellas, we've just

been playing a few dates.

- We're on our way back home

to Belfast. - Oh, yeah?

And where are you

all from in Belfast?

- East.

- West.

- East.

- South.

- South.

- North.

Hey, are you taking the mick, Mick?

You're telling me some of these f***ers are

Protestant and some of them are Catholic?

Never occurred to me to ask.

You ever think of setting

up a political party?

You don't wanna know what

I think of political parties.

You don't wanna know

what we do, either.

All right, let 'em back on their bus.

Right, boys, back on board.

Jesus.

We're getting reports on the radio.

You might wanna watch yourselves

going west into Belfast.

And north. Bit of trouble

in the east as well.

What about the south?

You should be okay

if you get going now.

Any calls while I was away?

Nothing.

What's it take to get noticed

by these wankers?

Don't f***ing start.

Well?

"Dear Mr Hooley,

go f*** yourself. " Again.

I thought making the record

was supposed to be the hard part.

- Ah, that's Belfast.

- No. It's London.

May as well be the moon.

Look, Terri, you've still got the shop.

Maybe it's time to let this go.

Yeah, maybe.

- Youse looking for something?

- Aye, you.

- Billy here sent you a tape ages ago.

- The Undertones.

- And we haven't heard a thing.

- I've a shop to run. I'm a busy man.

Have you listened to it yet?

Great. We trek all the way down here from

Derry and you haven't even listened to it?

I didn't say that.

Jesus, you Derry ones.

So did you like it?

- It wasn't bad.

- Wasn't bad?

Now, there's no way that

you listened to it, then,

because every song

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