Goodbye Lover Page #2

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honored to meet you, sir.

How do you like

the Dippy Dolls, senator?

They' re unbelievable, sir.

- Quite unbelievable.

- Good.

They paid for all of this.

My wife and I would

love to have you over sometime...

to read Scripture.

Well. It sounds like a plan.

Is that it?

That's it.

Go, go.

Mr. Merritt, in this

decade of moral decay...

it's left to a few of us to

keep our fingers in the dike.

Quite.

The family that plays together

stays together.

I think he's impressed.

I'm not wearing any underwear.

Jesus, Sandra, not here.

God bless you, Reverend.

Who do you have to eat out

to get a real drink around here?

I'm sure you enjoy fruit punch.

- You remember my brother, Jake?

- Of course.

- And his lovely wife, Sandra.

- Nice to see you.

You didn't tell me the senator

was so good-looking.

Mrs. Lassiter, keep your eye on him.

He's trouble.

Eunice and I are

devoted to each other.

When you get steak at home,

you don't go out for burgers.

The best steak I ever had

was at the downtown Sheraton.

I just remembered there's someone

I want you to meet.

- Mrs. Lassiter, will you join us?

- Sure.

If you'll excuse us...

What the f*** is your problem, Jake?

You want that alphabetically

or by size?

You got to promise me something.

Anything happens to me...

I want you to look after Sandra.

What the f*** are you talking about?

She's my guardian angel.

She'd do anything for me.

Thanks.

I love you, Ben.

How'd it go with Merritt?

We' re making progress.

Let's go eat down by the pool.

We'll miss the entertainment.

I hate this song.

- Don't you hate this song?

- If you do.

Climb every mountain

I can't believe we got

the Merritt account!

Yeah, this calls for some champagne.

There's some right there

in the fridge.

Make a hell of a team, huh?

We' re Dippy Dolls!

Yeah, that should do it.

Baby!

Should we go into the bedroom?

- I don't rush into these things.

- Neither do I.

It's not that I don't want to.

- I thought that maybe...

- I need to know that it's real.

I completely, completely agree.

I really like you.

I just need to know that it's real.

I want to know that it's real.

I just realized...

I've been looking for somebody

like you my whole life.

- Don't make fun.

- I'm not.

I'm looking for something real too.

Oh, my God!

Wait a second. Wait.

I just need a little time.

- What?

- I just need a little time.

Of course.

Of course.

We could watch some TV.

Maybe catch the fourth quarter

of the Laker game.

You want some Hagen-Dazs?

Is this Mildred Pierce?

Did you know this was on?

We have to watch this. This is my

favorite Joan Crawford movie.

Mine too.

You' re such a great guy.

With this money, I can get away

from every stinking thing...

that makes me think of you!

Tonight meant a lot to me.

Me too.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Ben, are you trying to avoid me?

- What the hell are you doing here?

- Missing you.

This is f***ing great.

Really great.

Miss Prissy might be good

for your image...

but I'm good for your imagination.

Don't even start with that sh*t.

I'm trying to get

something real in my life.

We have something real.

Could be something real.

All it would take would be

one little push.

Come on, get out of the car.

Let's go.

I'm not getting out

till you climb in.

Get out of the car.

Get the f*** out of the car!

F*** it!

I'll take a damn cab.

Don't walk away from me!

- Leave me alone. It's over.

- Don't walk away!

Give me those goddamned keys!

It is over!

Go home and pick Jake up off

the floor and leave me alone!

You don't mean that!

Stop! You don't mean that.

- I know you don't mean that!

- The hell I don't.

It won't be that easy!

It's not going to be that easy...

for you!

Sorry.

It's Jake.

I think he's...

Goddamn!

- Get the f*** off me!

- Stop it!

Stop it, Jake! What the hell's

the matter with you?!

She's cheating on me, man.

She's cheating on me.

She's f***ing cheating on me.

Keep it down.

I don't care!

I don't care who knows.

Get out of here!

I don't f***ing care!

Goddamn!

You have no idea!

You have no f***ing idea!

- Calm down.

- All f***ing night!

All night!

I was there all night.

And she didn't come home.

Just calm down a minute and tell me.

Are you sure?

She wouldn't tell me where she was.

And I asked her finally,

"Are you having an affair?"

She said, "It's about

f***ing time you noticed!"

Did she say who it was?

No.

You got to help me find this prick.

I got to get my hands on him.

I just want to f***ing...

cut his balls off!

Goddamn it, Jake.

What do you expect?

It's not exactly like you've been

Husband of the Year.

What a f***er!

All right, get back to work.

Sandra is a wonderful...

and devoted and caring woman.

No matter what's happened, you need

to go down on both knees for her.

Well, somebody obviously did.

Rope it in.

It's easy for you to say.

You' re on top of everything.

I'm just a f***ing mess!

I just got my head so far up

in a f***ing bottle.

- We'll get through it.

- What do you mean, "we"?

Christ!

She's not messing around on you.

Bless your heart.

- Thank you.

- You' re welcome.

You'll never wake up

to find her sucking you.

What?

You'll never wake up

to find her sucking you.

Shut your mouth.

Please!

I have an open house tomorrow

at 2929 Carrillo.

I expect you there at 2 p.m. sharp.

Not on your f***ing life.

Maybe it's time I tell your little

brother just who I have been f***ing.

Or maybe I should tell

Little Miss Manners.

I have plans tomorrow.

I can't break them.

Break them.

Use this machine for areas

where you have to re-seed...

in the fall or spring.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I was thinking.

Want me to get that?

It's all right.

I took care of the reservations.

You did?

Of course.

I can't believe we' re

actually doing this.

It's so impetuous.

If you think...

If you think we' re

rushing into something...

I understand.

I do.

Carpe diem, you know?

Seize the day.

Shall we?

Let my voice mail

pick up any messages.

All right. I got it.

Lawn aerification.

It's a good thing.

That was some weekend, huh?

I never thought Vegas

could be so romantic.

You bit me.

I'm tired.

You know, most people

try to sleep at night.

I'm going to take a shower.

That sounds good.

That tastes good.

I'll come join you.

Hey, you bastard.

Who is this?

Who the f*** do you think it is?

It's the brother

whose wife you're f***ing.

Yeah, that's right.

Hello? You got nothing to say, Ben?

Nothing?!

I don't know what

you're talking about.

Who is it?

Sorry, that's just not going

to cut it, you f***.

Where's Sandra?

Why? What, are you getting horny?

Tough sh*t. You'll just

have to wait until I'm dead.

It won't be that long!

Now, what is that supposed to mean?

Is that Jake?

- After I'm dead, you can bone her.

- What's he saying?

- You won't have to feel guilty.

- Will you shut the f*** up?

You did feel a little guilty,

didn't you?

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