Goodbye World Page #2

is your captain speaking.

There are some security

concerns right now

at the San Francisco Airport,

so we'll be making an early

landing in Las Vegas.

Once we're on the ground our

staff will do the best they can

to answer all your questions.

Please remain calm and seated

for the duration of the flight.

Is that a cucumber in your pocket

or are you just happy to see me?

Both.

Aah!

Oh, Nicky, it's really

good to see you.

Oh, hey.

Not going to shake your hand.

Good to see you, man.

And it's so nice to

finally meet you.

Oh, um, we've met.

At Stanford.

You guy remember. She was

Laura's freshman year roommate.

Oh!

Oh.

That Becky.

You hated me, so it's okay.

No, no.

It's okay.

I liked to study all the

time and go to bed early.

I think it was the

Christian rock...

that made Laura hate you.

We never hated you.

What a relief.

Who's this little munchkin?

Say hi, Hannah-bear.

Hello.

Hannah, somebody wants to meet you.

He can't breathe.

He's going to die.

Oh...

No, no, no, no, no.

It's okay.

It's a space bag.

It compresses objects

for easy storage.

Mr. Bear, um, is sleeping,

and he just needs

us to wake him up.

Yeah!

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Hey!

Wow, he needs a hug.

Yeah.

- Jesus.

- Sounds selfish to me.

Everyone is selfish.

You don't believe in friendship?

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying the more

self-sufficient you are,

the more free you are, okay?

Every connection is an

opportunity for compromise.

It's basically death by

a thousand small cuts.

But that's why God put us here.

To make compromises?

To give of ourselves. To make

the world a better place.

You want to make the

world a better place?

Make your world a better place.

Hey, if you hate people so much

how come you asked me to make one?

I don't hate people. You clearly

aren't listening to me.

I think we understand

you perfectly.

Everything's easier if you

get to call the shots.

All right.

Let's talk about it.

We obviously have a lot

of bad blood between us.

Yeah, well, maybe we

have some bad blood

but, you know, it's

not like AIDS blood.

Lily.

Or hepatitis blood.

Malaria.

Ebola.

Sh*t, Nicky. That is some

seriously bad blood.

All right, Nicky, you win.

Ebola blood is the worst blood.

All I'm trying to say is that

things would have been better

if Lily and I were able to

convince you outside of court

not to take the company in

the direction you wanted.

Is that a James apology?

No, no, wait, wait, wait.

What's a James apology?

- Come on, dude.

- What is it?

Come on. Have you ever said

"I'm sorry" in your entire life?

Of course.

I'm sorry you feel that way.

No, honey.

Look, you know what?

I hear what you're trying to

say, and I appreciate it.

Thank you.

You know what we need to do?

We need to get smoked-up

and go skinny-dipping

in the hot tub.

Becky, what do you say?

I... I don't know.

I'm tired.

Nicky?

Awkward.

Yeah.

All right, well,

anybody who isn't totally

lame can join me.

What?

They seem so unhappy, don't they?

I'd be unhappy too if I

were married to him.

Do you want an Ambien?

Mmm.

Whatever happened to that guy?

Is he still in jail?

Benji? No.

He got out a few years ago.

James and Lily let him crash here

so he could get back on his feet.

He lives here?

They let him rent the guest house

down at the edge of the property.

God, I'm going to have to

see him too this weekend?

No, no, he travels a lot.

Giving lectures.

I didn't know you

were still in touch.

I see Facebook updates.

It's shitty, isn't it?

Seems like I let everybody go.

Well, I'm glad we're here

so you can finally

get some closure,

but that doesn't mean you

have to keep these people

in your life.

This is your past.

Your present is so much better.

How was it?

It was the relaxation

experience of a lifetime.

Hmm.

And I saw a UFO.

A UFO, huh?

You must be stoked.

Came down really, really close.

And this staircase

of white shot down.

Like a soft rock escalator.

Exactly like a soft rock escalator.

And then Jon Secada appeared,

and he descended into the hot tub.

Also naked?

No.

He wore a majestic thong.

And a cape.

And...

jelly bracelets.

Sounds like I should have come.

They brought their own pillows.

Who does that?

So when you get 10 stars

you get to have a party.

What kind of party?

A unicorn party.

Well, I love unicorn parties.

Can I come?

Uh, you have to be cool.

Hey, Nicky. You want to

go see the greenhouse?

- Oh, my God.

- If we don't act fast,

James will make us go antiquing.

We have to take our destiny

into our own hands

before it's too late.

Oh!

You may not want to, but you must!

No.

Yes.

Do it, dude. Do it.

You must.

Hey!

This is that game, Cosmic Wimpout.

Remember me telling you

how awesome it is?

I want to get you stoned

and feed you pancakes.

What's your Wi-Fi password?

"dividebyzero".

One word, no caps.

But the Internet's been

down since yesterday.

- Roll, roll.

- Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to go again.

Are you ready?

All right, here we go.

Dice out of control.

No. Fringe benefits.

Fine, then reroll clause.

You didn't clear moons, dude.

Yeah, I totally did.

No, you didn't.

Nick, the rules are the rules.

You didn't clear moons.

- Reroll.

- Reroll.

It's time for the daily bubble.

Not now, honey.

Daddy's in the middle

of a Cuban crime wave.

It's time for the daily bubble now!

Okay...

Every day we make a bubble

and see if we can beat our

record for how long it lasts

before it pops.

Whoa, that's a really big bubble.

One, two, three,

four, five,

six...

That's a record.

Twelve seconds.

That wasn't a very

good bubble, huh?

Uncle Benji!

Hey, little lady.

I just had a really long ride.

Where are you coming from?

Just came from L.A. this morning.

That's Ariel.

Your house is nasty.

Nasty's the new dope.

Hey. Weird to see you here.

Long time, buddy.

Wow. Are you stoned?

There have been serious

improvements in pot since college.

You guys have pot?

So much!

Nick, discretion, please.

Hey. Who's this?

We've met.

Right. Yeah. You're...

You used to hump my

stuffed animals.

Laura's roommate.

Yeah.

Oh, you guys haven't heard.

World's ending.

I'm going to take a nap.

Benji, check this out.

Holy sh*t. It's crazy.

We should get the

f*** out of here now.

Burn it down!

Back up, back up, back up.

Come on, we don't want

to get stuck in L.A.

This is unbelievable.

All this for a power outage.

No. It's got to be some

sort of coordinated attack.

You should show them Berkeley.

I thought we could at

least sleep there,

but it was way worse than L.A.

F***. They're breaking in.

It's going to get ugly.

- Just a second.

- I want to shoot...

Are you f***ing serious?

What's wrong with these people?

They're scared and reacting to

a militarized police force.

Or maybe they're just

selfish, lazy products

of an entitlement society?

Nick, your wife's a Republican.

Mm-mm. Libertarian.

Okay, so you believe

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