Goodbye World Page #6

It doesn't matter, because

Nick isn't really

an owner in the house

so much as an investor.

That's the same argument you used

to gain control of the

business, isn't it?

No, it's not the same thing,

because Nick specifically

violated our ethics code

when he tried to sell

users' private data.

And that's exactly what

made the company valuable

when you eventually sold it.

You shared in that profit

per the settlement.

So did you!

Hey, guys...

And what they chose to do with

the company after we sold it

is on their heads, not mine.

Wow, you're a real piece of work.

We're ready to buy you out.

I already have a cashier's cheque

cut for half the current appraisal.

Is that why you invited us here.

No, it's not.

Actually, yes.

James.

In part.

And why should we

trust your appraisal?

I had three separate appraisals

done and I chose the highest.

I could have averaged them.

And is the land on that

hill out front farmable?

If terraced, yeah.

And you've got a dedicated

well, and solar power.

Becky, I'm talking to Nick.

We're in the middle

of an apocalypse.

The property value is going

to shoot through the roof.

I make the same mistakes

Feels like I never learn

Always give way too much

For little in return

I haven't changed a bit

I'm still not over it

I make the same mistakes

I make the same mistakes

Ah

I never did grow up

Feels like I never will

My friends are all adults

I'm still a teenage girl

I haven't changed a bit

Having you up here this weekend

really wasn't about the house.

At least not for me.

I make the same mistakes

I really missed you.

I missed you.

They think I'm such a flake

They want to go to bed

I want to stay up late

Oh, no.

F***.

I'm so sorry.

I...

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

I...

No, no. It's okay.

I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.

I am.

Can I just say something?

What is set is set.

There's a reason that

all this happened.

I know we're supposed

to be together.

James doesn't appreciate you.

I don't want to talk about James.

I make the same mistakes

I make the same mistakes

Ah

Nick?

Where are you?

Have you seen Nick?

No.

Did he give you a ring?

What, just now?

When you were engaged.

Oh. Yeah.

Um, it was his grandmother's.

But I gave it back.

Hmm.

Becky...

you're really lucky to have him.

He's kind and he's loving.

And he listens.

James fell out of love with me

when he fell in love with Hannah.

He wouldn't even

notice if I was gone.

I'm sure that's not true.

I really don't belong here.

You know, it's your home.

You can make it whatever

you want it to be.

Why don't you come inside.

I think Laura and Lev

have a surprise for us.

The time is now near at hand,

which must probably determine

whether Americans will

be free men or slaves.

The fate of unborn millions

will now depend under God

on the courage and

conduct of this army.

Our cruel and unrelenting enemy

leaves us only the choice

of brave resistance,

or the most abject submission.

We must therefore resolve

whether to conquer or die!

Yes! Yes!

Hear, hear.

Amazing.

Here's another one.

Uh...

Two guys walk into a bar.

The first guy asks for H2O.

The second guy says,

"That sounds good.

I'll have H2O too."

The second guy died.

I know I'm not the only

one who didn't get that.

Okay, I'll be reciting

a poem that I wrote,

called "All the Little Animals."

And it's about how nicely we

should treat animals, Hannah.

All the little animals

sitting in a row.

They have paw and claw,

we have foot and toe.

On the outside they seem so

different from you and from me.

But on the inside,

they're the same as us.

Can't you see?

They want to be held

and loved so much.

Just like the Canadians,

the Chinese and the Dutch.

Yay!

Whoo!

Whoo!

And is this your card?

Nope.

- It's not?

- No.

It's that?

Oh, wow. Is that your card?

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

All right, how did you do it?

Real magicians never tell.

But you're not a real

magician, so how'd you do it?

You know, I don't understand

why people like magic.

I mean, if I knew how it

worked it'd be interesting,

but now it's just annoying.

Wobbledy, wobbledy, wow-wobble

Wobble

I'm sta-stacking my papers

My wallet look like a Bible

I got girlies half naked

That sh*t look like the Grotto

How your waist anorexic

And then your ass is colossal

All right, all right,

all right, all right.

Stop murdering the song, okay?

Lily, some of us

were enjoying that.

Yeah, well, I am going to

rock it old-school style.

And then y'all will find out

what hip-hop is really about.

Give me a topic.

Anything?

Anything.

- Banana slugs.

- Don't be ridiculous.

Life in the ghetto.

Correct.

What, what, yeah

What, what, yeah

Old school is for losers.

Excuse me, what?

Just kidding around, Snoop Dogg.

You are not allowed to teach

my daughter about hip-hop.

I'm sorry she doesn't like you,

but don't take it out on me.

What is your problem?

I got 99 problems, but

a b*tch ain't one.

Call me a b*tch again.

Ariel, just give it a rest.

Seriously, call me a b*tch again.

Ariel, maybe you should

step outside for a bit.

Maybe she should step outside.

Maybe we should both step outside.

Lily, enough.

What, you're defending her now?

He's hoping I'll suck his cock.

Get the f*** out of my house.

Fine.

You all think you're so

advanced and intellectual.

Well, I have news for you.

You're f***ing weak.

And boring.

She's just a stupid kid.

I don't want her around Hannah.

Ariel!

Ariel!

Ariel!

Ariel?

We have pot!

Oh.

What? I'm bringing bush back.

You sure are.

Full bush, no shame.

Aren't you freezing?

I am a firm believer

in the clean look.

Sh*t, I don't know how I feel

about being so middle of the road.

Waxing is so sexist.

I mean, does Nick wax?

Of course.

You're kidding me.

Don't knock it till you try it.

It's more aerodynamic.

But doesn't the penis look lonely?

No. It's regal.

It's very Prince William.

Does he wax his balls too?

Can you wax a ball?

Mmm!

So delicate.

I think you can wax a ball.

You can wax a ball.

Wait, hang on. Does hair grown

directly from the balls?

Or is it just encased in a

bed of surrounding hair?

That's a good question.

James!

James!

Shh!

Lily...

Do your balls grow hair

directly from them,

or are they more like encased

in a bed of surrounding hair?

Seriously, James, we

really need to know.

So I kissed Lily.

What?

I took your advice.

I went for it.

No.

I was telling you to be

honest with yourself.

I wasn't telling you to

sabotage a marriage.

You told me to do this.

No, this is not my fault.

You know what?

You're right.

Why should I take advice from you?

I mean, are you really deciding

what you want and going for it?

You're a loser who

lives in a shack.

You never had an adult

relationship in your life.

I went to prison for

going for it, all right?

So don't sit here and tell me...

You set some sh*t on fire

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