Grand Tour: Disaster in Time

Oh, god.

- World War I, the start.

- 1914.

When that australian guy

got shot dead.

Says austrian here.

- Uh, stock market crash of...

- 1929, october.

Yeah.

Scopes trial.

1925, Tennessee.

- Can you see through these?

- No!

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

Uh-huh. All right.

Okay. What happened

december 7, 1941?

- Bombing of Pearl Harbor.

- Uh-huh. Right again.

Mm-hmm.

January 3, 1959?

Alaska becomes the 49th state.

July 6, 1954.

July 6, 1954.

- You should know this one, Hillary.

- Don't tell me.

- Uh, something about... McCarthy.

- No.

No.

Uhh.

- Polio vaccine!

- No.

- What? Tell me!

- It's my birthday.

Like I'm very sure that's

gonna be on the test.

Just very sure.

- And you must be Mr. Wilson.

- That's right.

I'd like just a minute

of your time.

Who's she?

Hello?

How many bedrooms?

About five.

Who are you?

- Iovine. Madame Iovine.

- All on the second floor?

- One on the third.

- Ah.

Not much storage,

is there?

Oh, not criticizing,

just commenting.

Let's see

what we have up here.

Let's just start all over again.

What do you want?

Lodging.

This is an inn, isn't it?

Wait a minute. Are you the one

who talked to Sue Appleton

at the hotel with...

Obliging woman,

isn't she?

- Didn't she tell you

that we're not open yet?

- Yes, she did.

And how are we set

for lavatories?

- My, what a handsome child. Yours?

- Uh... Yeah.

Going to be

a heartbreaker, this one.

Just give him a few years.

- This is Hillary.

- His daughter.

Ohhh. Well, don't you worry,

child. The chest will be along

any time now.

Oh, and what do

we have here?

Well, I must say,

I wasn't overly impressed

with the rest of it,

But this is... Grand.

- Simply... Grand.

- Listen, madame.

- Iovine. How much for three nights?

- Yeah.

Take a look over here.

See that hole where a door

normally goes,

All that sawdust

out in the hall?

We're not open yet.

You're gonna have to make

other arrangements.

What about the hotel in town?

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

Not the hotel.

- Well, I don't know

what to tell you.

- You can tell me...

How much?

Three nights.

Five rooms.

- Name your price.

- Uh, you know, dad,

I could just...

Sweep up all this sawdust.

So, what's the story?

Do we unload or don't we?

Your price,

Mr. Wilson?

You're going to have to do

without some of the usual

amenities, all right?

Grand.

Simply grand.

Okeydoke! Every man

for him... self.

Kleph, Tod...

I think that you'll find

this is suitable.

Chiron, Andar...

I believe that

you will be comfortable...

Right over here.

And, uh, Jana, Spall... please.

Reeve? Reeve...

You and Omerie,

over here.

All righty.

Every man for himself.

We're here, Mr. Oscar.

Upstairs.

Ohh.

For the love of Michael.

Yeah.

Getcha a new bulb.

Ben, uh, by the way.

Ben Wilson.

Spall.

Spall.

So, you folks,

you been on the road long?

Our tour began

some time ago.

Ah. Where you all...

where you all from?

- South California.

- Southern California?

Not there, Mr. Oscar.

Up here on the third floor.

Come on. Hurry.

Maybe they haven't started yet.

- Still got paint in my hair.

- What are you doin'?

Just pull your hair up!

So everyone will think

I'm a handsome little boy?

- Forget you, Charlie.

- Come on. Come on.

[ "wedding march" playing ]

Oh, no!

They already started.

- It's okay. It's perfect.

- Perfect?

Yeah, we'll be the first ones

at the reception. Come on.

I don't know. Those church bells

haven't rung in 10, 12 years now.

Someone said 18...

Storm of '73?

Regardless, they got to be

rusted out pretty good.

Climbed the belfry yesterday,

first time.

- It's quite a mess I inherited.

- Yeah. No-no doubt.

Um, excuse me

just a second.

- Can I help you, miss?

- Give me some money.

- Okay. Yeah. Okay.

- Quick.

- Come on. Come on.

It's for the dollar dance.

- Gonna dance with uncle Doug?

- Here's 20. All I got...

- Thank you.

Hillary, I'm sure

he's got change.

I understand

you used to be a contractor?

- Yeah. Yeah. Still am.

- Stop by for a look, Ben.

Maybe what we need

is someone like you...

Local citizen,

man good with his hands.

What if the rest of him

were as good as those hands?

Ben. Ben. Ben. I never

expected to see you here.

What are you doing drinking

that skunk piss? Come on.

Look at this.

You're after the good stuff.

- I've got ten cases of Heineken here.

- No, I'm all set. Thanks.

Oh, that's right.

I heard you had a little trouble

with the hooch lately.

Well, you've tried

the hors d'oeuvres,

haven't ya?

Good. Good.

Oh, that cake. You got to

have a piece of that.

Take some of it

home with you, Ben.

I paid for half

of everything here, Ben,

and what's mine is yours.

Right? It's all in the family.

Right, Ben?

I didn't know

you two were related.

I was married to

the judge's daughter, Carolyn.

She's passed away.

- I'm sorry.

- Not nearly as sorry

as some of us.

Why did you even come here?

- Well, see, I got this invitation.

- You got an announcement.

Good night, reverend.

I didn't actually see

the accident myself, reverend.

but other people did,

and they say...

Why don't you just leave

bad enough alone, all right?

Aww, that's right, Ben.

You just leave.

Because what you

do best, isn't it?

that girl deserves

a better father, reverend.

What kind of man can

run away while his wife dies?

What kind of man, Ben?

You tell me that, huh?

Would you just let it go?

Would just please stop?

Hmph. Every day...

More and more like

your mother every day.

Hillary!

- Ooh, dad! Did you see that?

- Ooh, yeah.

- Oh, and another! Look it! Look it!

- Yeah, it's a meteor shower.

- It's, uh...

- Wow.

Perseid or something.

No, no. No, no, no, no.

That's-that's August.

This is another one.

What's that tune?

What?

The one from piano class?

The one mom

used to play.

What's it called?

You know.

# Na-na, na-na, na

na-na, na-na... #

I just have

this picture of her...

sitting at the piano

playing that one song.

That stuff your grandfather

was saying tonight...

Oh, that.

I know

it's a bunch of garbage.

Doesn't he want to sleep inside?

Sh-sh, shh.

Guess not.

Should we ask him?

Uhh, I don't want to

wake him up. Come on.

- Well, he can't sleep like that.

- Well, apparently he can. Let's go.

Now, it might get

kind of cold tonight, so...

you need a blanket

or anything?

Mmm.

- Mm, just that.

- Just that.

Okay, get some sleep.

Okay?

- Good night.

- Good night.

- "Fur Elise".

- Hm?

The song your mother

used to play.

# Bum-bum, bum-bum

bum-bum, bum bum-bum... #

"Fur Elise".

"Fur Elise".

[ piano:
"Fur Elise" ]

It's one of the grandest

springtimes in recorded history.

Retropologist.

You'll see.

He'll miss it, you'll see.

After all of my careful planning,

he will actually miss the spectacle!

Andar, would you please

check once again?

- Hi.

- Hi.

I just... I was just...

I was making sure that...

I just thought I sell...

smelled something.

I was just

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