Gray Matter

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1

[THUNDER SOUND EFFECTS]

[HEAVY STONE BEING

PULLED SOUND EFFECT]

[OMINOUS AMBIENCE

ENSUES AND SPEEDS UP]

[FUTURISTIC SOUND EFFECTS]

[CRICKET SOUNDS]

MAX:
That's enough dufus!

It's my turn!

ROBERT:
Hey, you guys

better save some for Walter

or he's going to be pissed!

Look it's not

even half gone yet.

Here give it here...

Hey what are you...

You idiots are

going to spill it! Stop it!

Give it here! It's my turn!

Holy sh*t!

...Is that them?!

Gentlemen... I give you...

B*obs!

Hey! Easy! Don't bend them!

ALL:

[Laugh and Giggle]

BILLY:

Look at the b*obs on this one!

Ha ho!

Your brother is going

to kill you if he finds out.

Don't worry. He's

out with his friends.

I'll get them back

home before he gets back.

OLD TIMEY MUSIC PLAYS

Vaginas are

just weird looking.

What?

They are just weird looking...

that's all I'm saying.

Fairy.

WALTER/BILLY/MAX:

[LAUGHING CAN BE HEARD]

Fairy.

ROBERT:

Hey! I ain't no fairy.

MAX/WALTER/BILLY:

Fairy! Fairy! Fairy!...

Shut up!

MAX/WALTER/BILLY:

Fairy! Fairy! Fa...

Stop it!

Hey! Watch the magazines!

Help! I'm being

attacked by a fairy!

Guys, stop it!

[LOUD RUMBLING CAN BE HEARD]

[LOUD SWOOSH LIKE SOUND EFFECT]

[GLASS SHATTERING SOUND]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING SOUND

EFFECT CAN BE HEARD]

Holy cow.

Looks like a rock.

Think it's Russian?

WALTER:

It's a meteor dumbass!

Like from space?

No...

It fell out of your Mom's ass.

Shut up would ya?

Dibs!

Yes.

WALTER:
Hey man... Let me see it!

Let me hold it.

ROBERT:

Let me hold it, come on!

No! I called dibs.

He did... He called dibs.

60's PHOTOGRAPHER: Alright boys. Let's

stop fighting over that space turd

and get this picture...

I need you to move

in a little closer together.

Squeeze in nice and

tight, nice and tight there.

Now let me see that meteor.

Say cheese!

GROUP:

CHEEEEEEESE!!!!

[STATIC GLITCH SOUNDS]

ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC

GEEK:
What's that?

You talking to me?

Oh that? Thats just a...

...thats just MY

sweet ass meteorite.

Oh yeah...

Chicks are going to dig you.

[LIGHT BEEP SOUND EFFECT]

TV COOKING HOST:
So what you want

to do is mix your dough thoroughly

otherwise your cookies

just wont be moist.

Cause no one

likes an un-moist cookie.

After you are done mixing

and you have added your nuts...

[NATURE SOUNDS]

[RATTLING SOUND

EFFECT CAN BE HEARD]

[DOG WHIMPERING SOUND]

[LOUD SWOOSH AND

SPLAT SOUND EFFECT]

[FIRE SOUND EFFEC AND CRICKETS CAN BE HEARD]

[OMINOUS AMBIENCE]

FARMER:

Stay there Roxy.

[CRICKETS CHIRP AND

FIRE CRACKLING SOUNDS]

[SPOOKY AMBIENCE]

SPOOKY SCI FI MUSIC

BEGINS TO PLAY:

[BLAST OFF SOUND EFFECT]

[WHOOSH SOUND]

[LOUD BANG SOUND]

[MACHINE BEEP SOUNDS]

[CRICKET SOUNDS]

[LIGHT TECH SCI FI

SOUND EFFECT PLAYS]

[SCI FI BEEP SOUNDS]

[SCI-FI TECH SOUNDS

CONTINUE TO BE HEARD]

[WARPING SOUND EFFECT PLAYS]

[LOUD WHOOSHING SOUND]

[WARPING TECH SOUND

EFFECT CONTINUES]

[BUZZING SOUND]

[GUNSHOT SOUND]

Ah! Ah! Ahh!

Ahh! Ah! Ah....Ah...

[SPOOKY DRAMATIC AMBIENCE

CONTINUES TO PLAY]

[SQUIRMING SOUND]

[DRAMATIC SOUND BEAT]

[INTENSIFIED AMBIENCE BEGINS]

[DOG BARKING SOUND]

[DOG WHIMPERING]

[CRUNCHING NOISES]

[CINEMATIC AMBIENCE CONTINUES]

[CINEMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

[MYSTERIOUS AMBIENCE BEGINS]

ANNABELLE:
Hey Dad... I got

your favorite cookies.

Dad?

Are you here?

[RATTLE SOUND]

SPOOKY MUSIC:

MUSIC BOX PLAYS:

[PHONE RINGS

Dad?

You here?

[STATIC SOUNDS]

[DEEP DRUM SOUND]

[WEIRD SCIFI SOUND]

[INTENSE SOUND BUILDS]

[SHE SCREAMS]

[DRAMATIC AMBIENCE

ABRUPTLY STOPS]

[OTHER WORLDLY SOUNDS]

[TECH, ODD SOUNDS

BECOMING STRONGER]

[TECH BEEP SOUNDS

WITH OMINOUS AMBIENCE]

[DRAMATIC SOUND

BEAT CAN BE HEARD]

[OTHER WORLDLY

AMBIENCE CONTINUES]

[CLICK SOUND EFFECT]

[TECH BEEPS AND

OTHER WORLDLY AMBIENCE]

[WHOOSHING MACHINE SOUND]

[LIGHT DRILLING SOUND]

[MACHINE REVVING AND

BEEPING SOUNDS ENSUE]

[MACHINE BEEPING AND EXTRANEOUS

SCI FI SOUNDS CONTINUE]

[LOW RUMBLING SOUNDS BEGIN]

[SOUND HITS FOLLOWED BY

MYSTERIOUS AMBIENCE]

[HEAVY FOOTSTEPS ARE HEARD]

[TRAIN WARNING SOUNDS]

[OTHER WORLDLY

AMBIANCE CONTINUES]

[CHIRPING BIRDS ARE HEARD]

[MACHINE BEEPING SOUND EFFECT]

[LOW DRAMATIC AMBIENCE]

[ROBOT-LIKE ALIEN

SOUNDS CAN BE HEARD]

[HEAVY BREATHING CAN BE HEARD]

[CRACKING SOUND EFFECTS]

[DRAMATIC TECH AMBIENCE]

LIGHT SUSPENSEFUL

MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY

COUNTRY MUSIC BEGINS

PHONE:

[INDISTINCT VOICE]

TOW TRUCK DRIVER: I have no

clue where your darn keys are!

No, I can't come

help you find them!

I'm all the way over

on freakin' Kettle road!

PHONE:

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Yeah. Yeah, you do that.

She would lose her freakin'

head if it wasn't attached.

Alright... let's see

what we got here!

COUNTRY MUSIC CONTINUES

What the hell?

TOW TRUCK DRIVER:

[SCREAMS]

[ZIPPING SOUND

EFFECT CAN BE HEARD]

[BIRDS CHIRPING SOUNDS]

[OMINOUS AMBIENCE ENSUES]

[CELL PHONE

RINGING SOUND]

UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS

[CELL PHONE CONTINUES TO RING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER CAN

BE HEARD FROM PHONE]

TOW TRUCK DRIVER: That's great that you

found your keys but I'm gonna need ya to

shut the f*** up for a minute...

I need you to get your ass in

the car and I need you to come

pick me up on Kettle road.

Just three clicks south of

Cooper's Mill...

Maxine!

Shut up and do it would ya?

And bring some damn

clothes while you're at it...

Because I'm standing in the

middle of the road in my damn

skivvies!

Maxine, that's why!

Just shut your damn

pie hole and start drivin'.

Geeez Louise! That lady

is gonna be the death of me!

[CITY AMBIENCE CAN BE HEARD]

[TRUCK SOUNDS]

[DRAMATIC AMBIENCE

BEGINS TO PLAY]

[BUZZING SOUND]

[OMINOUS AMBIENCE CONTINUES]

[OMINOUS AMBIENCE CONTINUES]

[SCARY THUMP]

(she screams)

[DRAMATIC AMBIANCE CONTINUES]

ANGRY DRIVER:
What the f*** man?

Watch where you're going!

Idiot!

GROCERY STORE CASHIER:

Sarah! Hey who's that guy?

SECURITY GUARD:

Excuse me sir.

Sir. Yo!

I need you to put

that meat down!

Ma'am no, I am going

to need you to back off ok?

FARMER:

[SCREAMS]

AHH! AHHH!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

[CAMERA SNAPSHOT SOUND]

GROCERY STORE CASHIER:

Get down!

[LOUD THUMP SOUND]

BUS DRIVER:
Is everybody OK?

I'll be right back.

BUS DRIVER:
Is everybody OK?

I'll be right back.

[LIGHT OMINOUS AMBIENCE PLAYS]

[LIGHT OMINOUS

AMBIENCE CONTINUES]

[FOOT STEP SOUNDS

WITH CREEPY AMBIENCE]

[SCI FI AMBIENCE

SOUNDS CONTINUE]

CORONER:

Son of a...

CORONER:

K, This is case 7638.

[CREEPY AMBIENCE CONTINUES]

Well you've had better

days there ay buddy.

CORONER:
K, We've got a male,

approximately 45 to 50

years of age.

Struck by a vehicle.

A bus to be more precise and

pronounced dead at the scene

by paramedics.

K, there is significant blunt

force trauma to the head,

the right upper thoracic,

the right mid torso...

and this is consistent with

this type of vehicular accident.

K...

It appears the large and small

intestines are visible from...

the outside of the body.

And this is due to the large

laceration to the

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