Greedy Page #6

lt's a 7-Up. l'm not much of a drinker.

You will be.

There's something l wanted to ask you.

- Did you go and see Molly and...?

- No.

Let me finish. All right?

Did you go and see Molly

and threaten to kill her?

What? You see how evil she is?

You see what we're dealing with?

Why, we... We went to her to ask her

if Joe's taking his medication.

You know, for his...circulation.

She said, ''That's for me to know

and for you to worry about.''

She said that?

Then l said, ''l could kill you for that.''

OK, now you know the truth.

God. First couple of days l was here,

she seemed so nice.

That's before she saw you as a threat.

We should have him declared incompetent.

Throw him in a home.

- A home?

- You know, for his own protection.

l hear things at the scrapyard.

There is something wrong with him.

He screws things up, he makes crazy deals.

He forgets deals he's made.

Danny have you noticed anything, anything

we could use to put the old man away?

No.

Keep your eyes open. And for God's sake

do something! That's what you're here for.

Joe? Joe!

Joe.

Here, have some water.

Cough it up.

Joe, drink some water!

[Molly] Joe.

That's it.

Piece of fruit.

She tried to kill him. She knows he has

a narrow gullet. All the McTeagues do!

Shut your mouth.

She's the only one who helped me.

l tried to help you, Uncle Joe,

but Carl stopped me!

- Liar!

- Happy birthday, Uncle Joe!

That was last week.

You people are...

Come on, Molly. l've lost my appetite.

l've made a decision.

Here l am, Uncle Joe.

[as Durante]

Hello, folks. This is Jimmy Durante.

Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!

# Inka dinka doo a dinka dee a dinka doo

# Oh, what a tune for croonin'...

- Danny.

- No, honey.

# Inka dinka doo a dinka dee a dinka doo

# It's got the whole world swoonin'

- Danny.

- Stop the music! Stop the music.

Everybody wants to get into the act!

Remember, Uncle Joe...

# You gotta start off each day with a song

# Even when things go wrong

# You'll feel better, you'll even look better

# I'm here to tell you that you'll be a go-getter

# 'Cause you know

That things can't go wrong

# When you start off each day with a song...

Just those in wheelchairs!

[both] # Cause you know

That things can't go wrong

# When you start off each day with a song

Big finish!

# When you start off each day with a song... #

Ha-cha-cha-cha!

You're something.

Robin. Hey. Where you going?

l'm just a little ''lnka-dinka-do'd'' out.

What, do you think l enjoyed that?

A week ago, you said it was pathetic.

Now you're singing, dancing

and sliding down a banister?

Honey, she's a vixen.

She's not giving him his medicine,

she's gonna get his money

and dump him in a home. l know this.

So it's not the money, it's your uncle.

Exactly. He's opened up his heart to me,

you know.

We've rekindled something

that we haven't had since l was a kid.

l mean, we got a bond growing here.

Danny, l love you and l believe in you.

But isn't everything you're telling me

a big crock of bubbling sh*t?

- No.

- lt's just the money.

- lt's not.

- Mr Daniel.

Your uncle has requested another chorus.

- Come with me. Just leave.

- All my stuff's here.

- All my clothes.

- l've seen your clothes. Just leave.

Shall l tell him you're coming, sir?

lt's not the money.

[Danny as Durante]

He's back! Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!

- More wine, sir?

- No, thank you, Douglas.

- ls the chicken Kiev satisfactory?

- lt's excellent.

Could you tell the cook that tomorrow

l'd like to have broiled salmon again?

- Very good, sir.

- ls my uncle going to swim today?

He's not at home, sir.

He took the shuttle to Washington.

- Business trip.

- Yes and no, sir.

- What does that mean?

- He took Miss Molly along.

He did?

Yes. He had me book

the honeymoon suite at the Coolidge Hotel.

Honeymoon?

More wine, sir?

This is a matter of life or death.

These are Mr McTeague's pills.

l have to get them to him in two minutes

and 45 seconds. l need the room number!

l'm sorry, sir.

Mr McTeague was very specific.

No one is to have his room number.

- l'll see to it that he gets the pills and...

- No!

No! No, you don't understand.

These pills only work if l give them to him

myself. lt's a very rare condition.

Excuse me, sir.

Does this say ''moron''?

l will leave him your message.

Would you like a room?

l'm his nephew.

- Oh, his nephew.

- Yes.

Because he gave specific instructions

not to give his room number to relatives.

What's the matter with you? Do you

not care about this hotel's reputation?

There is an old man shacked up here

with a very young girl.

Sir, most of these rooms have old men

with young girls. This is Washington.

All right, listen, pal. Just give me...

..a room. A cheap one.

Of course.

[Uncle Joe] Come on, Molly. Drink up.

[knocking]

Yeah, come in. lt's open.

Right there.

- Leaving?

- Yeah.

- Where's Molly?

- She's taking a walk.

We had a fight.

Nothing serious, l hope.

Be honest. Do you think Molly

would even like me if l wasn't rich?

Look, l don't want to say

anything against her.

But like you say, let's be honest.

How many girls like that

are with poor old guys?

- Take some towels.

- What?

Take some towels for the money

they charge here, you should take everything.

l'm trying to figure out a way

to get the bed out of here.

You are some piece of work,

do you know that?

She's a good kid.

That's why she can't...

She can't...

can't just get herself to... You know.

You mean you two didn't...?

No.

You know, l never believed

that anyone could love me for me.

How could l,

when my own mother didn't?

She didn't?

She left me and my brother at a...

..at a home in Albany when l was three.

No note, no nothing.

Never asked about us.

Never said, ''l'm sorry.''

Your mother has to love you.

Right Danny?

So even if no one else does,

she has to, doesn't she?

Well, if my own mother

couldn't love me, l...

I...

l love you, Uncle Joe.

You do?

Yeah, l do.

Take me home, Danny.

[Robin] Danny what do you mean

he's throwing her out of the house?

Honey, just wait a second, will you?

- Danny!

- Honey, l had no choice.

It was an emergancy, she wasn't going to bring him back

till she got what she wanted.

You mean until she got what you wanted.

Honey, it's not like that.

Look, Uncle Joe and l, we talked.

l mean, we really talked.

He's been in Washington.

Some military contract.

- Oh, yeah?

- I brought him back today and

we're going to go and see his attorneys.

From now on, honey,

l'm going to be responsible for him.

l'm gonna be here with him,

and...you know.

Rich.

- What about your cousins, you made deal?

- My cousins are animals!

They would put him in a home

if they could.

l'll take care of their children,

you know, give each kid

like a scholarship or something,

but my cousins forget it, don't deserve anything.

- You bastard!

- Frank what are you doing?

- Frank, no!

- Whatever happened to ''Hello''?

- We heard every word.

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