Groundhog Day Page #20

CUT TO:

EXT. THE BANK - DAY

The building is surrounded by police, all crouched behind their

cars with guns and rifles trained on the doors.

-84-

Suddenly, the doors burst open and Phil comes running out of

the bank screaming, dressed in camouflage fatigues and armed to

the teeth with an assault rifle in one hand, an Uzi in the

other and a couple of handguns stuck in his belt. He doesn't

get three feet before he is shot down in an incredible hail of

gunfire.

Rita stands beside the camera gaping in horror while Larry

records the grisly massacre.

INT. CORONER'S - DAY

Rita stands by weeping while Phil's body is covered with a

sheet.

In the shadowy darkness under the sheet, a CLICK is heard and

Phil's eyes pop open. "I Got You, Babe" plays.

INT. PHIL'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Phil pulls the sheet off his face and finds himself back in his

bed in his room. A tear falls from his eye.

CUT TO:

INT. DINER - DAY

Phil and Rita are sitting in the diner at their regular table.

RITA:

I ' m sorry. What was that again?

PHIL:

I'm a god.

RITA:

You're God?

PHIL:

No, I'm A god. Not THE God-- at

least I don't think I am.

RITA:

That's reassuring. For a mintute

there I thought you might be

crazy.

PHIL:

No, it's true. It's the only

possible explanation. I'm a

supernatural being.

RITA:

Because you survived a car wreck?

-85-

The waiter comes to the table.

WAITER:

Are you ready to order?

PHIL:

(to Rita, ignoring the

WAITER)

Not just the car wreck! I didn't

just blow up yesterday, you know.

I've been run over, drowned,

crushed, stabbed, shot,

electrocuted, poisoned, frozen,

burn ed, and asphyxiated--

RITA:

Really?

The waiter looks at him like he's nuts.

PHIL:

--but I always wake up the next

day without a scratch, without

even a headache. I'm telling

you, I ' m immortal.

WAITER:

The special today is blueberry

waffles.

RITA:

Why are you telling me this?

WAITER:

(SHRUGS)

Because some people like

blueberry waffles.

RITA:

(to the waiter)

No t you-- him.

PHIL:

Because I want you to believe in

me.

RITA:

You're not a god, Phil. Take my

word for it. This is twelve

years of Catholic school talking.

WAITER:

I could come back if you're not

ready.

PHIL:

How do you know I'm not a god?

-86-

RITA:

Please.

PHIL:

How do you know?

RITA:

Because it's not possible.

WAITER:

I'll come back.

The /waiter turns to leave.

PHIL:

Hey, Billy!

The waiter turns back.

PHIL:

This is Bill. He's been a waiter

for three years because he left

Penn State and had to find work.

He likes the town, he paints toy

soldiers, and he's gay.

WAITER:

I am notl

Phil grabs an astonished Rita and pulls her over to the next

table.

RITA:

What are you doing?

PHIL:

This is Doris Kleiser and her

fiance Fred.

DORIS:

Do I know you?

PHIL:

They're supposed to get married

tonight but Doris is having

second thoughts.

FRED:

What!

Doris touces her engagement ring, dumbfounded. Rita is a

little embarrassed.

RITA:

Lovely ring.

DORIS:

Thanks.

-87-

Phil drags Rita to the counter.

PHIL:

This is Ralph. Say "Hi," Rita.

Rita flashes a quick smile.

RALPH:

Don't believe I've had the--

PHIL:

Ralph hates his life here and

wants to drive around town

smashing into policemen.

RALPH:

Well, who don't?

RITA:

This is some kind of trick.

PHIL:

Yes, it's a trick. But maybe the

real God cheats, too. Maybe God

isn't omnipotent-- he's just had

a lot of practice.

RITA:

How about that guy?

PHIL:

Tom. Worked in the coal mine

·til they shut it down.

RITA:

Her?

PHIL '

Nancy. Went to Lincoln High

School in Pittsburgh. Takes

herself out to lunch once a week.

Rita is getting very bewildered. From their reactions she can

see that Phil is right about each and every one of them.

RITA:

How do you know these people!

PHIL:

I told you the truth. In five

seconds there's going to be a

grease fire in the kitchen.

Five, four--

RITA:

This is nuts.

-88-

PHIL:

--three, two, one.

Phil points to the kitchen as smoke starts pouring from the

service window. Everyone in the diner is now staring at them

RITA:

(trying to puzzle it

OUT)

Okay, enough. Let's just sit

down and think for a second.

(they sit)

What do you know about me, Phil?

Do you know me, too?

Phil takes a long pause.

PHIL:

I know all about you, Rita. I

know you like producing, but hope

for better than Channel 9,

Pittsburgh.

RITA:

Everyone knows that.

PHIL:

You like boats but not the ocean.

There's a lake you go to in the

summer with your family, up in

the mountains, with an old wooden

dock and a boathouse with boards

missing in the roof, and a place

you used to crawl underneath to

be alone, and at night you'd look

up and see the stars. You're a

sucker for Rocky Road, Marlon

Brando, and French poetry.

You're wonderfully generous;

you're kind to strangers, and

children; and when you stand in

the snow, you look like an angel.

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