Guess Who Page #10

Now, look here, woman. I love you.

But you didn't have to do me like that

about my vows.

You know I don't like writing.

She knows that.

I'm not a wordsmith.

I do numbers. That's me. I don't do words.

Damn it, I do money.

And after 25 years, all I've asked you...

is to let me be me.

You'll never find

As long as you shall live

Oh, Lord.

Someone to love you

Love you, love you

Tender like I do

Tender like I do

You know that about me, woman.

You'll never find

No matter where you search

I'm not looking.

Someone to care about you

Care about you, care about you

The way I do

Oh, I'm not bragging on myself, baby

But I'm the only one that loves you

I think I forgot what love is

until you and Simon showed up.

Give that man another chance, daughter.

You'll never find

Simon!

Yes, Simon.

It'll take the end of all time

Someone who understands you

Like I do

That's not Jamal.

I could probably find a million reasons

why we shouldn't be together.

But you know what? I don't care.

I don't care, either.

I love you.

And I'm sorry that I lied to you.

I'm sorry, too.

You're sorry?

- Can you say that again?

- I'm sorry, Simon.

You're sorry? She said she was sorry.

I believe she's...

I'm sorry, Simon.

- Get your man, girl!

- Go ahead, sweetie!

Ladies and gentlemen,

it gives me great pleasure...

to introduce to you all

my future son-in-law, Simon Green.

He's broke, unemployed, and he's white.

But he loves my Theresa

and that's all right with us.

That's right.

Welcome to the family, son.

Welcome to the family.

And cue the magic.

Look at this.

Will you look at that sh*t?

Drink up! Enjoy!

Welcome, man.

- Let's watch the tango.

- No, let's watch the party.

- All right. Get your feet off the table.

- Sorry, sir.

- I look pretty good out there.

- You do, Mom.

Baby, you look so good

because you're twirling around me.

Oh, yeah, there you go, there you go.

All right, you blew that part.

- That was perfect.

- There was hesitation there.

- You did it better the night before.

- The night before?

- What happened?

- We had a little dry run the night before.

- Really?

- You didn't tell me that, Percy!

You're hallucinating, Simon.

I ain't never danced with no man in my life.

Taught him everything he knows.

Percy Jones was born

knowing how to tango.

And let me tell you something

about the tango.

- It's a structured dance.

- I told you that.

What was that, Mom?

You know what that is, Theresa.

You're a grown-ass woman.

- Damn, Mama, you still got it.

- I know it, Keisha.

All right now, watch this.

This is when I got funky.

- Go, Percy! It's your birthday!

- Go, Percy.

- Let's watch the vows.

- No!

- Watch the party.

- Okay, fine, whatever.

- There you are.

- I got her, that girl is mine!

I was just shocked you didn't fall down.

That is cold.

Look. Check me out. I am doing the hustle.

I'm doing the hustle in your honor,

Percy Jones.

That ain't no damn hustle.

That's the white man overbite.

- You ain't even doing that right.

- Why's it gotta be a white thing?

Blacks have overbites, too.

- He's doing a great hustle!

- He's turning it up.

- Why is my man looking at your ass?

- No, he's not.

Why is your man Samoan?

- Where is Manu these days?

- We broke up last week.

- Thank you, Jesus.

- What happened?

I only started going out with him

to mess with Daddy.

And, girl, please. He is too big.

He is a bone crusher.

- Watch your mouth!

- What?

Do not use the word "bone" in my house.

- Where were you all going?

- Let's see that again.

Your mother and I

got a sudden thirst for punch.

No. You're old enough to know.

We going to shake some sheets.

Is that all right with you?

I thought you said no bone in the house!

No!

If everyone wants to see the lift,

we do the lift.

We're doing the lift!

This is good.

No. I was so sure

you were going to drop me there.

I love you!

This is Dirty Dancing.

I've been doing this since high school.

Look at that.

- Who's the man?

- You did it with other girls?

No, I only do that with you.

I know that hurt.

See that move right there.

That's why you're not getting any grandkids.

Let me call your mama right now

and thank her for those dance lessons.

- That's a low blow.

- It's just a joke.

- Simon!

- Come on. I'll catch your big ass.

We're down!

Good thing is, she didn't break that dress.

No, she didn't,

but she felt bad about it all week.

They gotta go deep.

- I knew better.

- Oh, my God.

- That was a great party.

- It was, Mom.

Yeah, I guess a party not a party

till something get broke.

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