Guess Who Page #8

- Fifteen, Mom. Fifteen!

- Fifteen?

Your baby got 15 missed calls!

- Bullshit. Let him wait!

- That's true.

I'm gonna call him now.

- No, you're not!

- No. Don't you dare!

Child, you take your finger off that trigger!

Did he lie to you, Theresa?

Did he lie to you?

Yes, he did.

So, if you don't want him to do it again,

let him feel the pain!

Look, honey, and if you want him

that bad, you've got to train him.

My God, if what he's giving you

is that good...

and then you still don't want him,

send his pasty ass to me!

- All right, one more!

- Two!

There you go, baby!

Here's to you, baby.

I gotta go to work in the morning. Hello?

- Sorry, Marcus.

- I'm sorry, baby.

You want a taste?

Thank you, Marcus.

This is my house.

- She won't answer the phone.

- She don't want to talk to you.

- Can I get something to drink?

- What, vodka?

Yes. Vodka. I would like some vodka.

Sorry, Charlie. No vodka.

There's gotta be something around here.

Marilyn was throwing an anniversary party.

Is throwing a party.

- Was.

- Is.

- Party's off, dude.

- The party is on, dude.

You won't find no liquor in here.

This is a Christian home.

Bingo.

With a house full of sinners.

Marilyn's got good taste in vodka.

This is, like, a $50 bottle.

Give me that. Give it here.

- Can I at least have a little bit?

- No.

Just a taste.

Come around here and get those

two glasses over there. Hurry up.

Who's playing?

Played. That's history.

New York Giants' first Super Bowl win.

Talking about Phil Simms. L.T.

You ever play?

- I told you before, no.

- Pitiful.

All right, let's do it.

Do what?

- Fumble!

- You said you weren't gonna hit me!

Touchdown! Yeah, baby.

- This is where your hands go.

- Where am I gonna be?

- You're on the bottom. I'm on the top.

- All right.

Okay, so you hold this frame.

One and step. Right.

- I'm leading.

- Okay.

Back. Nice. Step.

Left. Good. Double-time.

- Okay, no. See? This is...

- What was wrong with that?

- You're screwing around.

- I'm not.

You're getting crazy here,

not holding your frame.

There must be space between us.

Not like when we're sleeping.

You can't be, like, up here.

You're not holding your frame.

It's a structured dance.

- Okay, so back up.

- Your mama taught you this?

Yes, I used to help her in the dance studio

on the weekends.

- Step. Two.

- You get fired from there, too?

No. I didn't get fired from this job. I quit.

Was it over money? Because if it wasn't,

this doesn't make any sense.

I had a difference of opinion

with the management.

They weren't ready for a guy like me.

I don't get it.

And heads. No, you're doing great.

I ain't talking about this.

I'm talking about you and Theresa.

You ain't got nothing in common.

For example:

You don't like sports. Theresa loves sports.

You're a businessman. She's an artist.

You're white. She's black.

Did I miss anything?

No. That's just it. She's everything I'm not.

You know, she's my other half.

Without her, I'm not whole.

You know, the thing

about meeting your other half is...

you're walking around,

you think you're happy...

you think that you're whole.

Then you realize you ain't sh*t without her.

Then you can't go back to being a half...

'cause now you know what it's like

to be a whole.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I do.

And I still got it.

- That was nice.

- Real nice.

- I liked the snap.

- You like that?

- I think you hurt me.

- Percy Jones, boy.

Good morning.

Looks like I missed a fun night.

- Just sitting up here, watching football.

- That's how it always starts.

- Where's Marilyn?

- She stayed all night at Darlene's house.

She must be really mad.

Wait. You knew where they were

the whole time?

Yeah. I thought they'd be back by now.

- Did you apologize?

- I didn't do anything.

Exactly!

Dante, please. Don't try to play

that metrosexual mind game on me, okay?

Okay. All right.

Let's go get them.

You don't understand.

They done called all their friends

and sat up all night ragging on men.

They've worked themselves up

into a man-hating frenzy.

- How many women?

- I guarantee you, large numbers.

Sisters.

You can't just walk in on a bunch

of angry black women. You'll die.

Well, we'll just have to go out like men.

- He's right, Percy.

- I know he's right.

But I'm still scared.

- Keep talking. What are you saying?

- Like that, a little.

- I'm liking it.

- Thank you.

You gonna share your colors?

You're one of them sisters

who don't share colors.

No, I'm not.

Give up your secrets, honey.

This is gorgeous. Pink Passion.

Every woman needs this.

A little Pink Passion?

You know what I always say?

A little bit of makeup, a little bit of hair

ain't never hurt nobody.

How did I know

she would be wearing Pink Passion?

- Yes, they're in there.

- Maybe I should go first.

Are you crazy? I'm the one

that got experience in this sort of thing.

You just pay attention.

I'll show you how it's done.

Here, straighten yourself up.

If you go up in there,

you go in looking like a man.

- Wipe this off.

- You got something.

Thank you. Yeah.

- Man, I'm not gonna...

- No. We gotta do this.

Well, well, well.

- Lf it isn't Mr. Percy Jones.

- It is I.

It's about time you showed up.

- What's up?

- I'm well.

- Percy.

- Marilyn.

Marilyn, may I speak to you in private

over there, please...

so the ladies can continue eating?

Oh, no! You go on home with that.

- It's not going down like that, my brother.

- No way, no how.

You know better than that, Percy.

You got something to say, say it here.

In front of everybody.

Step up to the chalk line and be a man.

I married you, didn't I?

Don't that count for something?

- Hell, no!

- What does he want, an award?

That don't count for nothing!

It really doesn't count.

- Come on, man.

- I know, I'm just...

Oh, hell.

I was wrong, okay?

- It's a good start, Percy.

- Keep going!

I've been wrong for a long time.

Ever since I forgot...

that you are my better half.

Hell, Marilyn, you're everything I'm not.

Without you, I'm not whole.

Look. Let...

Baby, before I met you,

I thought I was all that.

And then you came into my life,

and I realized that I wasn't all that.

Wasn't even half of that.

I might have been a quarter of that.

But then you left me last night!

And, baby, I remembered

how it felt to be without you.

And let me tell you something.

I ain't sh*t without you!

- Dad.

- Man.

And I forgot about that.

And I'm sorry.

Baby, marry me.

Make me whole again.

- I love you, Percy.

- I love you, too.

- That's what I'm talking about, baby.

- You go, Marilyn, bad girl!

Kiss your baby.

- I missed you so much.

- I missed you.

I couldn't sleep at all last night.

I'm sorry, baby.

I feel so much better!

- Isn't that lovely?

- Get off that.

I guess it's my turn.

All right.

That's going to be a tough speech to follow.

- It was a great speech, Perce.

- Thank you.

- I had something similar in mind.

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