Guest iin London

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Are you 'P'? P?

- Are you Pregnant? No sir, how can I be pregnant? How can I be pregnant, sir? Well..even if you're pregnant,

Mr. Aryan Grover.. ...for your 'Kl'.

- Kind Information. The company is still not

granting maternity leave to men. Sir..this is an emergency?

- Why? Are you expecting a storm? Tsunami? Earthquake?

What is it? Sir, uncle's coming. He's back. "This is not All India Radio." "He'll come dressed for the occasion." "Guest in London." "Uncle..nowadays

they are called guests." "Here comes the guest." "Sporting an innocent

smile on his face.." "..pretending like he's a saint." "But he's a disaster

waiting to happen." "This is a serious situation." "Hide under the blanket or your bed." "Coop up in your neighbors' home." "You can hide in a different country." "Or trying hiding

on the Moon or Mars." "Whether you hide in

the closet or your backyard." "Your basement or the roof." "But he will find you

he will sniff you out." "He'll sc' you openly." "Guest in London." "Guest in London." "Guest in London." "Guest in London." "Here comes the guest." This interview is to check

that this marriage is real. And that you're not having

a marriage for benefits. The present conversation

is to find out.. "Whether you two are actually

uniting in holy matrimony. ...or faking it for

the sake of the visa. No, sir. We love each other. Fine. We'll question you

separately about your personal life. Agreed?

- Agreed. Is this an arranged

marriage or a love marriage? Is it arranged or love? Love marriage.

- Love marriage. The name of your future wife's father. What?

- Your fat he r-i n-law? PK Patel.

- OK Patel. Huh!

- She has two fathers. What does Anaya do?

- She drives a cab. I am a cab driver. How much does the lady eat?

- Not much. Does she bathe every day?

- Yes. Who sleeps first?

- Me. Who does the laundry?

- Me, of course. Who earns the most?

- Me. Who spends the most?

- Me. Is it all true?

- Yes. This is just too much. Yes, sir. We love each other. Haven't met any couple that

knows so much about each other. Wait, sister. This is a sham. It's a fake marriage. You think so, Officer Habit? Because they know too

much about each other. If any couple in India or Pakistan

know so much about each other" "then, they are not husband and wife. They are Karan and Johar. Officer Habibi, you Pakistanis

always have a problem with Indians. Your marriage date is in 15 days. Thank you, sir.

- Thank you, sir. Allah..now I must cross

the border to prove this. So the deal is..you'll pay 7000 pounds

to Anaya for this fake marriage. And she will help

you get a UK Citizenship. 2000 advance" 2000 after the wedding. And the rest when you

submit your visa papers. Anaya will stay at your house

for 6 months until the wedding. And within these 6 months" ...you must convince the

government and everyone else.. "That, you two are

a very loving couple. And then" divorce. And?

' And? And during this time,

I'll have to pay for all your needs. And never try to get close to me. This is too much. Come in. Come in. This is my home. This is where we're going to live. This is your room. Nice, isn't it? Come on. Please. This is the master bedroom. It's got a bigger bed. Enough for two. One.. Here's your advance. Count it. You should always be careful

when it comes to money matters. That's what I always do. These are 1500 pounds. I haven't received my salary yet. I'll pay you the rest as soon as I do. And now..we're soon-to-be

husband and wife. I know it's fake.. but

I am not going anywhere. Listen, dude, cut the crap. You'll have to pay

me every single penny" ...and if there's a single pound less" Allah.. Then..

- Then? Then..

- Then? Aren't we future husband and wife?

- Yes. So..can I kiss my would-be husband?

- Yes. Yes?

- Yes" Stop making that piggy face, baby. That Pakistani officer

is in your backyard. Look there" Allah..such a long kiss. Mr. Habibi.

- You, here? Allah's very benevolent" ...and so his disciple's

perched up on your wall. And you know, Indians and Pakistanis" ...have always existed

next to each other. What? - I mean, we're neighbors

on the world map.. "As well in London/UK. So they don't let us stay in peace

at home or out here. Of course.

What did he say, lady? See you tomorrow, sir. Huh.. surgical? No-no.. I meant tomorrow My heart's on that side" "but my eyes are on this side. Sham marriage, huh. No, sir..we love each other!

- We love each other! Good bye. So finally you're

getting married, huh? She's really hot. Does it feel weird? I didn't have a choice. I've been working for almost four

years in this country on working visa. As soon as my visa expires,

these Brits will send me back. I want to settle down in this country. I had no choice. Where are you getting married? I mean..will it be at the registrar's

office, or.. - Of course not. The wedding procession will arrive

at my first father PK Patel's house. And I'll be sent off from

my second father OK Panel's house. And both my mothers

will dance will joy. Anaya.. listen. I am sorry.

You know I didn't mean to hurt you. Why say such things

in the first place? Its just gonna be me,

him, and the two of you. Parents are dead.. I

can't invite my uncle Kughi. So who else is going to show up? Where do I get real

guests for my fake wedding? Buddy, you don't know

anything about guests. Guests are a peculiar breed. It's like this.. Guest are like God. That's why it's said..

'Guests are equivalent to God' Understand. "Turn around.." "He looks so innocent and naive." "But when the sun goes

down he shows his true color." "No matter what limits he crosses." "..there's nothing you can say." "And he'll make you

dance to his tunes." "Doesn't matter if

he's local or from abroad." "Once he arrives,

you can expect no rest." "He's gonna stay

as along as he insists." "You built a world of dreams." "But he put up a mosquito net." "You wished for a sensation." "But he ruined your chances." "Guest in London." "Guest in London." "Guest in London." "Here comes the guest." "Who invited them over." Aryan, some old guy stuck his

umbrella in the escalator. Who could be that stupid? Guddi..come on, quickly. I am scared. These stairs will start turning again. No, it won't,

I've stuck my umbrella in it. Come on. Sir, I am warning you,

take out the umbrella. Just hold on.. what's the problem?

Come on. What is this mess"

I can't do it. Come on, it's absolutely safe. "Come up on the roof, beloved." Sir, take the umbrella out now..

- Let it be. "..On the roof." He's your man? But I don't know this man. Well, he knows you.

He says he's your cha-cha-cha. Sir, ask him to remove the umbrella

or I am calling the police. No-no, no, please.

- Now Wait. "Come up on the roof, beloved." "Come up on the roof, beloved." "Come down if you want to meet me.." "..or don't show your face again." Come on..come, Guddi. Excuse me, uncle. Kake.. 'Kake. .' Kake?

- What happend? Guddi.

- Yeah. Look.. it's Kaka. Oh my, God. He's all grown up now. Last we saw him, he was only this big. What are you staring at?

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