Guinevere

These photographs of me

were taken when I was 21 years old.

They were shot on Plus X with

a 105-millimeter lens on an Nikon F-2,

developed normal,

two stops overexposed.

I like this one a lot.

The F-2 was lost forever to a pawn shop

in Los Angeles four years ago.

The photographer lived

in San Francisco up until last week.

He was the worst man

I ever met.

Or maybe the best.

I'm still not sure.

If you're supposed to

learn from your mistakes,

then he was the best mistake

I ever made.

He was my most spectacular

and cherished fuckup,

and I was his Guinevere,

whatever that means.

## Tell me ##

## Why you keep foolin'

little coquette ##

## Makin' fun of the world ##

Harper, you look wonderful.

- Isn't your sister a beautiful bride?

- She really is.

Now, did I hear correctly?

Harvard law in the fall?

- That's right, yeah.

- We have to talk. I'm an alum, you know.

Harper, congrats.

I just heard about Harvard.

Our John's

in law school there.

- Hey, weren't you engaged toJeremy?

- ## Someday ##

- ## You'll fall in love

like I fell in love with you ##

- You were, weren't you?

## Maybe someone you love ##

## Will just be foolin' ##

## And when

you're all alone ##

## With only regrets ##

## You'll find, little coquette ##

## I love you ##

- Sorry.

- That's all right.

You gonna stop hiding in here

anytime soon?

I'm not hiding.

Your father and sister

have been upstairs forever.

- I cannot believe they'd pull

this Oedipal crap today.

- What do you want me to do?

We have 300

f***ing guests here.

Just tell them to knock off the Greek

tragedy and get their asses down here.

And I can't find the photographer.

Find them.

Could you knock?

I did.

Mom is freaking out down there.

Is she crying?

No, she feels fat.

Sue, you're not fat.

Oh.

What's so funny?

It's nothing.

- It's nothing.

I told them no one goes to Paris

in August. Everything's closed.

But they're young and dumb. They don't

care about the Musee Picasso anyway.

Excuse me.

Well?

Yeah.

Excuse me. Have you seen

the wedding photographer?

H-Have you seen

the wedding photographer?

- Sorry. Canape?

- Thank you.

Damn it.

F*** you. F*** you. It's my life.

F*** you. F*** you.

I don't care.

- F*** you --

- I know that song.

Ever try singing it

really loud?

No.

You should do it sometime.

Opens up all kinds

of possibilities.

Having trouble

with that?

- My thumbs are too small.

- Let me see.

Tiny.

There you go, Guinevere.

My name's Harper.

I'm Connie.

That's tricky

with champagne.

Maybe you'd, uh,

prefer a little of this?

I'm usually

not much of a drinker.

No, neither am I.

You're

the wedding photographer.

Today I'm

a wedding photographer.

It's a transformation that only seems

to occur when the rent is due.

Suddenly I find myself

in a Pacific Heights mansion

wearing a secondhand tux,

surrounded by women

in chiffon.

Um...

maybe -- maybe

this sounds rude --

- Would it be possible for you

not to take my picture?

- Why?

I don't like

to be looked at.

It's a little late

for that.

Good. Mrs. Sloane, could I ask you

to move in slightly, please? Thank you.

Bride, turn your body

slightly in for me.

Mm-hmm. A little more.

That's great.

And can I ask the bridesmaid

to move to her right?

Mm-hmm.

A little more.

Another inch.

Perfect.

- Looking this way.-

Come on, smile.

One more.

- Here we go.

Fine, I'll stop

screaming.Just say something!

I've been talking to you for hours!

You're not talking!

That's the point!

- You're breaking f***ing plates!

- I don't understand!

- You don't listen.

- I'm listening!

Let's talk about this calmly.

Why do you always

whisper? You always whisper!

- Does that make you

smarter or something?

- No, it means I'm holding back.

- You're a bastard!

- Please don't hurt the photographs!

- Oh, I'm so sorry I f***ed

with the f***ing photographs!

- What are you doing? Please --

Damn you!

- I hate you.

- No, you don't.

What we need to do

is sit down and talk.

No. No!

Please.

Please.

Hi.

You're incredible.

Uh, I just came to

pick up the wedding --

Go in and wait.

I'll be right back.

Sorry about that.

We work together,

and she can be a bit unstable at times.

It's just that when people

act irrational,

it always comes

as a bit of a shock.

- Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

- Do ya?

- I really should come back another time.

- No.

I'm glad you're here.

Let's have a drink.

Hmm?

This is, uh --

This is beautiful.

Think

that's a good one?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not --

I'm not an expert.

- Which print is better?

- You're asking me?

They look exactly the same.

I mean, I wouldn't know how to tell.

Just go with your gut feeling.

Like, boom -- That one.

No, no, no,

I'm really not good at --

Take a beat, go away

for a second and look back.

- That one.

- That one?

- You sure?

- No.

Absolutely not.

Well, maybe you're right.

Spent two days printing these,

then I couldn't decide

which ones to hang at my show.

- You've got a good eye.

- Me? No.

My family, none of us can do anything

except doodle on legal pads.

That's right.

You're going to law school.

You heard.

- Have they cashed

your tuition check yet?

- No.

I mean, I don't think so.

Why?

I don't think

you really wanna go.

What makes you say --

- Oh, God!

- Don't worry. I've got another bottle.

- I always f*** everything up.

- Do you really?

That's wonderful.

I ruined your pictures.

This'll wash off.

Don't worry about it.

You've actually improved this.

It's never looked better.

- Look at that. It's extraordinary!

- I'm really sorry.

That's great.

Look at Aunt Margaret.

What a cow.

I look incredible

there.

Hmm. That's odd.

Harper, you're -- you're not here.

In any of these.

Harper,you --

But you were there.

You were right there.

Wait a minute.

Check this out.

Oh, my.

Let me see.

Uh --

It's a nice picture.

But he didn't even get your name right.

Look on the back.

What was

his place like?

Uh, it was just

a place.

Mmm.

He told everyone he had the absolute

right to exclusively license...

the design

to their company.

- Of course he's clearly liable.

- I disagree.

The statute explicitly

requires intent to mislead.

Exactly.

Which you could easily prove.

Dad's right.

Really, Susan?

You agree with your father?

I'm shocked.

We're talking about the law.

There's objective truth here.

It's not about

choosing sides.

Thank you.

I stand corrected.

Where do you stand, Harper?

Don't bother her.

She's busy digging a hole in her bread.

- By the way, Harper,

you'll never fit in there.

- Well?

I really don't know.

- How does one get into Harvard

without having opinions?

- That's what they'll teach her.

- She'll come home

with plenty of opinions.

- I didn't.

I'm sorry,

darling?

I didn't get in.

I-I was wait-listed.

I thought I would clear the list.

Wow.

They said the list wasn't that long.

I thought that --

I-I thought that, um --

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