Gus Page #6

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Man, you're not a douchebag.

Yeah, I am.

I don't know when that happened.

Hey, man.

We're all doing the best we can.

Hey,

You wanna get a beer?

I'm just messing with you, bro.

No!

F***! Peter!

Oh, man!

F*** you.

You are a douchebag.

Ow.

Joyce?

Joyce?

Oh, my God.

You've got my dog.

Joyce.

Knock it off.

Joyce.

Oh, sweetie, are you okay?

Whoa!

How do we know

it's your dog?

Just, look at her tags.

It says Joyce.

Honey.

That's a lucky guess. It says Joyce,

but how do you spell it?

Are you kidding?

Oh, Jesus, man.

F***. I've never seen anyone

puke so much,

not even in detox.

Oh, yeah. Yeah!

Yeah, don't hold back. Come on,

I want to see where this is going.

Why did you leave your gate open?

Yeah?

Yeah, we're gonna call

the animal people.

The people that are in

charge of animals.

They're half animal,

half people.

It would be terrible

if they were in charge.

If half animal, half people

were in charge of animals.

Well, I mean if they

had people brains.

Oh. Argh.!

It's Lizzie,

I'll call you back.

F***! Lizzie!

Come on, we're not read to

throw in the towel here.

Come on, kid,

get off the ropes.

Give him hell. Atta boy.

Give me your uppercut.

Use your reach. Will you please

shut the hell up?

But what if they were, like,

they're in charge of all the animals

and they were half animal, half people.

That way they could...

They can decide between,

if there was a dispute

between animals and people.

They're like. "Well.

I'm half of each, so I'll decide".

I don't even know what

you're talking about.

This is such a smart idea.

This is a smart idea.

Can I just take my dog?

Again, this is our dog.

We will help you

find your dog.

We will track your dog down for you.

Let's track him down.

- Give me back my f***ing dog!

- Whoa!

That came out

of nowhere, man.

Come on, Joyce.

Bye, Joyce.

Right at the same time.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah, we are like

two peas in a...

We're bros.

Two pieces of a pizza.

Pizza.

Oh, dude, that was awesome.

No, seriously. I can't wait

for the next round.

Why do you have a geriatric stool

in your shower?

That's how I sit here

and wash my balls.

Think about life.

You don't do that?

Hey.

Yo. What up, dog?

Wait, what?

Oh, it hurts.

Come on.

You guys.

Come on. Here you are.

Wait! Wait!

No way! I'm not getting

in the middle!

Well, I'm worried

I'm going to throw up.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Peter, get in the middle!

Okay.

Okay.

You in? You in?

Yes!

Casey, that saves no time!

- You don't know that.

- You stink! Roll down the window.

You don't have electric?

I was drinking.

That's why it smells.

Ew! Am I just, like,

sitting in vomit?

Signal.

Use your signal!

# Violets loved you

# Angels love heaven.

# And Joyce I love you

Andie?

Whoo!

There's somebody here

who wants to see you!

She must be asleep, Joyce.

I'm gonna barf.

I'm gonna barf.

Don't barf.

Keep it in.

Oh, my God!

The baby is crowning!

Two biggest pussies

in the world.

My p*ssy's about to get big in

a f***ing second, motherf***er!

That's it, girl, come on. Push it out,

Andie. That's it. That's it, girl.

That's it, that's it, that's it.

Come on, keep pushing.

Keep pushing.

Push it out. That's it, girl.

That's it, girl.

That's it.

Oh, sh*t.

Sh*t.

Honestly, I don't think you guys would

have gotten through that without me.

Everyone's fine. Baby is healthy.

Andie is resting.

It's a boy.

Wow.

You can see her now.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm so sorry I wasn't here.

I found Joyce.

Oh, good.

Hey.

Hey, little guy.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

He's a feisty little boy.

I can't believe he's finally here.

Lizzie,

I didn't know it was gonna

feel this way.

I'm sorry.

I hope one day you'll find it in

your heart to forgive me.

Hey.

What's up?

Wow.

I thought it would look more

like an alien.

Nice.

What? I'm saying it

doesn't look like an alien.

- It's a compliment.

- Okay fine, whatever.

You know, just relax.

Try not to puke, okay?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that joke's

not getting old.

No.

No, it's not actually.

Don't touch it You're gonna

contaminate it. Okay.

You should probably leave. Should

we put him in a room or something?

Okay, thank you.

Tres bien.

Tres bien.

So, I saw Peter

the other day.

Oh, what happened?

Well, we laughed a lot.

I can't remember the last time

we laughed that much.

And he told me how proud

he was of Casey,

and of me.

I guess I just couldn't see

what was happening before,

or maybe I just didn't want to see it.

I saw it.

Oh?

So, why didn't you say anything?

It wasn't my place.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Did that hurt?

This?

Yeah.

Ah.

Over time. So it's really not that bad.

Do it gradual.

Just relax.

You'll be fine.

Okay. Want a shot of tequila?

Do it.

F***! Oh, f***!

What do you think

of that, Joyce?

She likes it.

Uh, I'm gonna go,

but I'll see you next week.

Okay. See you, Justin.

Hi.

Come on, Joyce.

Hello, Joyce.

Say hi.

How are you doing?

Wow.

I don't think we ever got

a formal introduction. Right.

This is Gus.

So big.

I know.

He's like a giant mutant.

So, how's it going?

Pretty f***ing hard, actually.

Yeah?

Yeah, I had to move back in

with my dad.

Hmm.

It's...

It's been all right.

He, um,

he really loves

being a grandpa.

Well, that's great.

So, how about you?

Me?

Um,

I'm considering my options.

It's going to be one lucky kid.

Hey.

I really should get him home

for his nap, so.

Well, we're going that way.

Come on, Joyce.

Come on.

Let's go visit.

Are you okay there?

Yeah.

Okay.

Good dog.

So, um.

Is Justin legal yet?

He's got another couple of weeks.

Yeah?

Send him my way.

I will.

His French is very, very good.

Getting better all the time.

Action's a little

slow these days.

I'm happy to go

a little bit younger.

Well, you gotta do

what you gotta do.

You know, I think my dad's

new girlfriend

is actually younger than Justin.

Oh, my God.

Do you know that they actually

have a kid on the way?

No way.

No, really. It's weird, because I don't

know if she's sure how babies get made.

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