Hail, Caesar! Page #14

You’re taking us down to the wire,

aren’t ya?

EDDIE:

It’s not a ploy——just a big

decision.

CUDDAHY:

Absolutely! No foul. But the board

was concerned when I couldn’t give

‘em a yes this afternoon, and

they’ve authorized me to say this.

You sign on, your term of contract

is ten years.

Eddie gives a low whistle. Cuddahy nods.

Yeah. You get it, right? That means

your stock options are guaranteed

to vest. You’d never have to work

again if you chose to retire after

your term. Think about it: lifetime

employment; you wouldn’t be a

glorified working stiff like you

are now. And you'll be running a

business, not a circus. Drink?

(notices Eddie’s look)

Cigarette?

Cuddahy proffers the pack which Eddie has been eyeing. Eddie

hesitates, shakes his head.

EDDIE:

No, no I——I have to run, I, I

should talk this over with my

wife——

CUDDAHY:

Course you should. Talk it over,

think about your family, let us

know in the morning. Oh!

(grinning, produces two

packages)

Now, if you think this is a bribe,

you’re absolutely right. Two kids,

right, boy and a girl? They love

this stuff. Used to be trains.

81.

EXT. A SPANISH-STYLE HOME - EVENING

Glowing in the early evening.

Reverse on its drive. Hobie Doyle leans against a parked limo

with his arms folded, waiting, gazing at the mansion. A long,

still beat, and then he abruptly sflffs a bunch of sunflower

shells out of his mouth.

He gazes idly around.

He has a thought.

He opens the back door of the limo and takes out a length of

rope.

He starts twirling, creating a nice big loop. He expertly

tips his wrist to make the loop spin level with the ground at

a height of half a foot. He hops in and out of the loop.

VOICE:

Hello Hobie.

Startled, he muffs a hop-out and the rope dies against his

shins.

HOBIE:

Oh hello Carlotta.

CARLOTTA:

Am I late?

He coils the rope.

HOBIE:

Aw no it ain’t nothin’. Thanks an

awful bunch for goin’ to this

picture with me, I don’t know if

you like livestock but I think it’s

got moments I really do. You look

var purty.

CARLOTTA:

Well, thank you, Hobie. I’m sure

I’ll like the picture——I like all

of your pictures.

HOBIE:

Well I like yours too, they are

just the craziest things. Is it

hard to dance with all them bananas

on your head?

82.

She plants her purse on her head as she demonstrates a rhumba

move:

CARLOTTA:

Oh no, anyone can do it, is all

inna hips anna-lips anna-eyes annathighs!

She finishes with a kick and a head-tip that launches the

purse backwards off her head to be grabbed by one hand behind

her back.

INT. MANNIX’S KIDS’ BEDROOM - NIGHT

We hear a door opening and hallway light fans onto an

adorable little girl asleep in bed.

Eddie looks down at her, smiles, stoops to adjust the doll

she holds against her face. He rises to gaze down for another

beat, then moves.

The opposite bed: an adorable little boy. Eddie eases the

askew coonskin cap off of the boy, stands looking down.

Top of the boy’s wardrobe. Baseball pennants are on the wall

behind it. Eddie’s hands enter to place a soaring airplane on

a peg on a pedestal.

Top of the girl’s wardrobe. Dolls are seated on it leaning

against the wall. Eddie’s hands enter to place a folded

maroon uniform, and, on top of the uniform, a maroon cap with

“Stewardess” stiched in gold.

INT. MANNIX’S KITCHEN - NIGHT

Eddie is at a plateful of dinner. His wife bustles as he

eats.

MRS. MANNIX

Little Eddie wanted me to tell you

about his baseball game. They won.

EDDIE:

That’s terrific. Gosh, I never

called the coach! Eddie played at

shortstop?

MRS. MANNIX

Mm, and he did so well he wants to

stay there now.

83.

EDDIE:

Great, it took care of itself.

MRS. MANNIX

And Darlene did very well on her

Spanish test.

EDDIE:

That’s good, she was worried about

that. Thanks for heating up the

roast.

MRS. MANNIX

Warm glass of milk?

EDDIE:

No, thanks hon——coffee. Gotta run

back to the studio, a few things to

take care of.

MRS. MANNIX

Gee, another late night.

Eddie is ruminative:

EDDIE:

Mm. You know... Lockheed improved

their offer. Darned good money. And

the hours wouldn’t be crazy like

this, either.

MRS. MANNIX

It’s nice to be wanted.

EDDIE:

Yeah, sure, but——what do you think?

They wanna know tomorrow.

MRS. MANNIX

I like the shorter hours. But what

do you think, honey? You know best.

Nodding, chewing, thinking:

EDDIE:

Uh-huh...

MRS. MANNIX

How’s it going with the smoking,

dear?

Eddie is startled out of his ruminations:

84.

EDDIE:

Oh, you know...

INT. EDDIE’S PACKARD - NIGHT

EDDIE IN HIS PACKARD

He drives, squinting against oncoming headlights.

The plummy-voiced narrator:

VOICE-OVER

The denizens of the great city make

ready for nightlife——or for sleep.

But Eddie Mannix will have

neither...

EXT. BEACH HOUSE - NIGHT

Familiar shot from high on the bluff down on the octahedral

house, now glowing with internal light. The ocean is no more

than glittering highlights caught from the moon.

VOICE-OVER

Even in westerly Malibu the sun has

moved on, leaving the vast and

tireless sea to heave itself

blindly upon the shore.

INSIDE:

We are in the living room which, it being night, offers no

more view. The writers sit playing at cards, smoking, seeking

to make time pass.

A man circles the table dropping a pair of gloves next to

each card player——fingerless gloves with leather grips, as

for golfing. The card players little notice the deposit of

gloves at their places.

VOICE-OVER

Baird Whitlock has become an

acolyte of the Communists, a

convert to their cause, his belief

compelled but not grudging——no more

than was Saul’s on the dusty road

of long ago. He now seeks to learn

more from the leader from the

north...

85.

Baird is indeed sitting with Professor Marcuse, who is just

finishing talking as their conversation mixes up, with Baird

nodding vigorous concurrence.

VOICE-OVER (CONT’D)

... and becomes ever more committed

to the quest to hasten an end to

history and bring on——the New Man!

BAIRD:

Herb——Herb!——That’s exactly what I

was talking about, that’s what

happened when I went to Reno with

Danny Kaye and he asked me to shave

his back! Exact same thing!

Because I'm thinking——who benefits?

Also, I gotta tell ya, everyone

thinks Danny is a jerk but he’s not

really a jerk, it’s just the theory

generating its own anti-theory...

Professor Marcuse’s brow furrows as he tries to follow

Baird’s point.

... So there we are, me and Danny,

and I’m wondering what the hell I’m

doing with this razor and he says

it’s for a part in a Norman Taurog

picture but Judy Canova is there

and she knows Norman and she says

Danny’s not doing a Norman Taurog

picture——he just wants you to shave

his back! And that’s who benefits!

INT. GRAUMAN’S CHINESE - NIGHT

A LOBBY CARD:

It is for “Lazy Ol’ Moon,” starring Hobie Doyle. When it is

wiped by a foreground cross we cut wider:

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