Hair

- You got all your stuff?

- Yeah.

When you get there,

be sure and call us.

- We want to know where you are.

- All right.

- How are you fixed for money?

- I'm okay.

You better take this 50...

in case you run

into a little trouble.

You never know what's gonna happen

between here and there.

Thank you.

Boy--

Don't worry too much.

It's just the smart people

that have to worry.

The Lord will take care

of the ignorant ones.

- You paying attention?

- Right.

See you.

Any person who alters...

forges, knowingly destroys...

knowingly mutilates...

or in any manner

changes this certificate...

may be fined not to exceed $10,000...

or imprisoned

for not more than five years...

or both.

When the moon

Is in the seventh house

And Jupiter

Aligns with Mars

Then peace

Will guide the planets

And love

Will steer the stars

This is the dawning

of the Age of Aquarius

Harmony and understanding

Sympathy and trust abounding

No more falsehoods or derisions

Golden livin' dreams of visions

Mystic crystal revelation

And the mind's true liberation

Excuse me, ma'am.

Could you spare some change?

That's a great hat you've got.

Can you spare

a couple nickels or dimes?

Beautiful horse.

I've never ridden a horse.

Is it difficult?

Would it be possible for me

to ride it a little ways?

Just once, for a minute?

Lady, could I ride--

Come on. Please?

Woof, forget it.

I'll get you one for Christmas.

Spare some change?

You know,

like nickels, dimes, quarters?

- You want me to give you some money?

- Right.

Why?

No reason, except she's pregnant

and we haven't eaten for two days.

I don't believe you.

- Where you from?

- Oklahoma.

I know how it feels.

I used to come from Kansas.

Sodomy

Fellatio

Cunnilingus

Pederasty

Father, why do these words sound

So nasty

Masturbation

Can be fun

Join the holy orgy

Kama Sutra

Everyone

Get the horse!

Stop the horse!

Go get them!

Once upon a looking for Donna time

There was a 16-year-old virgin

Oh, Donna

Looking for my Donna

I just got back

from looking for Donna

San Francisco's

psychedelic urchin

Have you seen

My 16-year-old tattooed woman

Heard a story

She got busted for her beauty

And I'm gonna show her

life on Earth can be sweet

Gonna lay my mutated head

at her feet

I'm gonna love

to make love to her

Till the sky turns brown

I'm evolving

Through the drugs

That you put down

Looking for Madonna

Yeah

Man, you're a real cowboy.

Don't get off. We still got

- I got some things I gotta do.

- Yeah? Like what?

I want to see

the Empire State Building.

Then tomorrow, I want to go

on that boat ride around Manhattan.

- You see the Statue of Liberty.

- Sounds real good.

If you have any ideas

about things to do while I'm here--

I don't have too much time.

I'm going in the army

in a couple days.

I think we can help you.

Hashish

Cocaine

Marijuana

Opium

LSD:

DM:

STP, BM

A&P, IRT, SPC

- Alcohol, cigarettes

- Claude.

Here, man.

Claude, speak to me.

Is she really pregnant?

Yeah, I am.

That's what she says.

"That's what she says."

That's what she knows.

- I am.

- Jeannie, you don't know anything.

- I know who the father is.

- Yeah?

You know that, you know a lot.

If the baby comes out white

and squishy, crying his ass off...

then we know Woof

is definitely the daddy.

But if he comes out all beautiful

and chocolate brown...

that's mine.

- "White and squishy"?

- Yeah, man.

He come out and see

your crazy black ass standing there...

he's gonna be spitting

watermelon seeds in your face.

You always open up your mouth

before you even think.

Look, when this baby

comes out and sees me...

he's gonna be so happy

and so proud.

Do you know what he'll say?

I'm

A colored spade, a nigra

A black n*gger

A jungle bunny, jigaboo

Coon, pickaninny, mau-mau

Uncle Tom, Aunt Jemima

Little black Sambo

Cotton-pickin' swamp guinea

Junk man, shoe shine boy

Elevator operator

Table cleaner

at Horn and Hardart

Slave, voodoo zombie

Ubangi-lipped, flat nose

Tap dancer, resident of Harlem

And President

of the United States of Love

Bad sh*t

If you invite this man to dinner

You're gonna have to feed him

Watermelon, hominy grits

and shortening bread

Alligator ribs and pig tails

With some black-eyed peas

Lord, chitterlings

Collard greens

And if you don't watch out

the boogie man will get you

Boo

Yeah, I'm talkin' about y'all

So you say

Say something to boogie man.

Go on.

Boogie man.

It's his first day in America.

He just got off the boat.

Did you have a nice trip?

Manchester, England

Across the Atlantic Sea

And he's a genius

He believes in God

And he believes that God

believes in Claude

That's him

Claude Hooper Bukowski

Finds that it's groovy

to hide in a movie

Pretends he's Fellini

and Antonioni

And also his countryman

Roman Polanski

All rolled into one

I believe in God

And I believe that God

believes in Claude

That's me

I'm black

I'm pink

I'm rinso white

I'm invisible

Ain't got no home

Ain't got no shoes

Ain't got no money

Ain't got no class

Ain't got no scarf

Ain't got no gloves

Ain't got no bed

Ain't got no pot

- Ain't got no faith

- Look here, man.

Ain't got no mother

Ain't got no culture

Ain't got no friends

Ain't got no schoolin'

Ain't got no shine

Ain't got no underwear

Ain't got no soap

Ain't got no A-train, Ain't got no mind

Ain't got no smokes

Ain't got no job, Ain't got no work

Ain't got no coins

Ain't got no pennies

Ain't got no girl

Ain't got no ticket

Ain't got no token

Ain't got no God

Yeah

Ain't got no grass

Ain't got no acid

Ain't got no clothes

Ain't got no pad

Ain't got no apples

Ain't got no knives

Ain't got no guns

Ain't got no garbage

- Ain't got no draft card

- Burn it

Ain't got no Earth, Ain't got no fun

Ain't got no bike, Ain't got no pimples

Ain't got no trees

Ain't got no air, Ain't got no water

City, banjo, toothpicks, shoelaces

teachers, football, telephone

Records, doctor

brother, sister, uniforms

Machine guns, airplanes, germs, M-1s

Bang, bang, bang

M-2, bang, bang, bang

Where you going?

I got a lot to do today.

Thank you.

What?

I want to show you something.

What is it?

Just come here, please.

- What?

- Look at that.

- That's the chick on the horse.

- That's not her.

What do you mean?

Look at it.

Short Hills.

It's real close.

- That's today?

- That's right.

You want to go?

Why?

Don't you want to meet her?

Don't you have

to be invited to those?

Would you like to come

to a party with me?

You guys spread out. Mingle.

Sit, my dear.

Steve?

- Great party, huh?

- Yeah.

There's an odd-looking

character over there.

And here to the right,

that chap over there.

That colored gentleman over there

with the girl.

See those two girls there?

Do you know them?

Why don't you just

unobtrusively...

see if you can find out

who they are, how they got here...

who invited them,

and come back and let me know.

Sure thing.

Hi, I'm Steve Wright.

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