Hairspray Page #9

# Tracy, I'll be yours forever #

# 'Cause I never wanna be #

# Without love #

# Tracy, never set me free #

# No, I ain't lyin' #

# Never set me free #

# Tracy, no, no, no #

# Livin' in the ghetto,

black is everywhere ya go #

# Who'd've thought I'd love a girl #

# Whose skin was white

as winter snow? #

# In my ivory tower #

# Life was just a hostess snack #

# But now I've tasted chocolate #

# And I'm never going back #

# 'Cause without love #

# Life is like a beat

that you can't follow #

# Without love #

# Life is Doris Day at the Apollo #

# Darling, I'll be yours forever #

# 'Cause I never wanna be #

# Without love #

# So, darling, never set me free, no #

# I'm yours forever,

never set me free #

# No, no, no #

# If I'm left without my baby doll #

# I don't know what I'll do #

# Link, I've got to break out #

# So that I can get my hands on you #

# Girl, if I can't touch you,

then I'm gonna lose control #

# Seaweed, you're

my black white knight #

# I've found my blue-eyed soul #

# Sweet freedom is our goal #

# Trace, I wanna kiss ya! #

# Let me out at the next toll! #

# Without love #

# Life is like a prom that won't invite us #

# Without love #

# It's like getting my big break

and laryngitis #

# Without love #

# Life's a 45 when you can't buy it #

# Without love #

# Life is like my mother on a diet #

# Like a week that's only Mondays #

# Only ice cream, never sundaes #

# Like a circle with no center #

# Like a door marked "do not enter" #

# Darling, I'll be yours forever #

# 'Cause I never wanna be #

# Without love #

# Yes, now you've captured me #

# Without love #

# I surrender happily #

# Without love #

# Oh, Seaweed, never set me free #

# No, no, no #

# I ain't lyin' #

# Never set me free #

# No, no, no #

# No, I don't wanna live without #

# Love, love, love #

# Pretty Penny little #

# Darling, you had best believe me #

# Never leave me without love #

Link.

Your pork is ready.

Uh, Mama, I-

You tryin' to hide her here?

Uh.

Why you ain't think-a that before?

Everything she done for us.

Where your manners at, boy?

Ow! Well, I don't know.

And what about this one?

Seaweed's got a girlfriend.

Inez, shut up.

- You.

- Oh.

So this is love.

Well, love is a gift.

Lotta people don't remember that.

So you two better brace yourselves...

for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you...

from a never-ending parade of stupid.

So you met my mom?

Hello?

- Mom?

- Tracy, are you OK?

- Yes, I'm safe.

- Oh, my God.

- Mom, listen.

- Where are you?

- I need your help.

- What?

Tomorrow's the Miss

Teenage Hairspray pageant.

Tracy, you-

I need you to come down to the station.

Well-well, Tracy-

- Dress nice.

- What?

Penny will meet you out front.

Now let me talk to Dad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Turn your face this way.

The other way. Go.

Everybody,

please take your seats.

The Miss Teenage Hairspray

pageant is about to begin.

Oh, you've come on a very exciting day.

It's our first live show.

Oh! Bye Bye, Birdie.

Oh, my Amber is perfect for that.

She's the pretty little blonde. Ha ha!

And we're live in 5, 4, 3...

And now, broadcast live

in front of a live studio audience...

for the first time from the certified...

up-to-code WYZT studio...

it's the Corny Collins Miss Hairspray

spectacular.

- He's Corny.

- He's Corny.

Brought to you by Ultra Clutch hairspray.

# What gives a girl power and punch #

# Is it charm, is it poise #

# No, it's hairspray #

# What gets a gal asked out to lunch #

# Is it brains, is it dough

No, it's hairspray #

# If you take a ride with

no can at your side... #

"and preserve our family

through our father. " Hmm.

"Let us make our father drink

wine, and let us lie with him. "

# You can take off in a rocket #

# And in outer space each

hair will be in place... #

Link, the agents are here. Look.

# Why take a chance when

you get up and dance? #

# If you twist, I insist #

# You use hairspray

and tell your mother... #

Maybe they'll sign us together.

# Her head she should smother #

# With Ultra Clutch faithfully #

Well?

There's no sign of her.

We're on every door. She's not inside.

Doesn't mean she won't try.

velma, I seriously doubt

this girl's gonna risk...

incarceration to win a pageant.

# That's me! #

I risked communicable diseases.

She'll certainly risk jail.

# Better than hairspray #

# That's me #

# Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh,

ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh #

# Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh #

# What makes a man

reach out and touch? #

# Ultra Clutch #

# So if you're a redhead,

a blonde, or brunette #

Whoo!

# Just take my advice

and you might just get #

# The only thing better

than hairspray #

# That's me #

Ah!

# He's Corny Collins #

# The only thing better

than hairspray #

- # Hairspray #

- Wow!

# That's me #

Hey, baby, you look like

you could use a stiff one.

# Whoo-ooo #

And we are out.

Link, you sprayed it right in my face!

What'd I tell you about that?

Stop! You guys.

Uh, powder.

And we're back.

Here?

And now for the talent

portion of our competition...

our Councilettes...

in their Miss Teenage Hairspray

official dance-off.

Uh!

First off, we have the sunny

pride of Highlandtown, Darla.

Hello, Darla.

Miss Teenage Hairspray.

Your vote is for?

This little girl could power...

all of greater downtown Baltimore...

with her energy-Lou Ann.

Who are you voting for?

Lou Ann?

very good, thank you.

All right.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the almost too happy Tammy.

And thank you, Tammy.

Confirmed sighting.

What?

You three:
Outside, now.

We can't go out th-

No, no. No buts. Out, out!

Out! Out, out, out, out!

Whatever you say, Mrs. von Tussle.

Whoo!

Aw, she's too cute, isn't she?

Hold it right there, Tracy.

Looking for someone?

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

- Ha.

- A what?

It was a diversion.

Oh, please, these people are

not capable of a diversion.

It's beyond their mental capacity.

I wouldn't be so sure, velma.

Oh, my God.

What if she's already in the building?

What if she's been here for hours...

and you've locked yourselves out?

What?

- Check the doors!

- Let's go!

It's locked!

They're all locked!

And now a fast girl

who loves to slow dance...

our own smooth-as-silk Shelley.

Ohh!

Keep goin'. Keep goin'. That's it.

Come on.

Put your backs into it, men.

Put your backs into it this time.

Come on, one more time.

One more time.

Come on, come on, come on.

Here's our little dynamic

duo from Conkling Street.

Double your fun

with Noreen and Doreen.

What is with you people?

I mean, how hard is it

to beat down a door?

That hairspray battering ram was heavy.

Heavy?

How could they be heavy, they're...

hollow.

Move it.

Let's get 'em. Let's go.

And, of course...

our three-time

Miss Hairspray champion...

the ever-charming, Amber.

Oh, my God.

You carried her in!

Go!

Ow!

It's locked.

Open it!

Let's give

a final round of applause...

to our Miss Teenage

Rate this script:4.4 / 8 votes